As a kid, I was actually quite social. A bit off at times, yes. But social and having friends, absolutely. I had some difficulties with attention and executive functioning but no major social failures. Of course, sometimes people liked me and sometimes they didn't but I did ok socially. Just ok. Not good or bad. I was homeschooled but socialized with other kids from the community fairly frequently. I had one particular friend who I was close with for a very, very long time. My whole childhood actually. He was not AS like at all nor did he suffer from any developmental disabilities other than possibly being a bit "slow", "not too swift" or whatever you want to call it. I can read faces and body language fine but sometimes said and did some impulsive/unusual things that were a bit different from what other kids did. On the flip side, people often commented that I was "very outgoing" and my mother described me as quite "bold". My mother studied psychology but has little to no experience in the field identifying disorders. However, she wondered if I could have "aspergers" due to my blurting things out and inattention along with the fact that I have always had quite strong interests. Not strong as in swept away rambling on about them inappropriately but just strong, passionate interests beyond what people usually have at that age. Also, I had a huge fascination with the paranormal even as a kid and I still do. I never talked about my interests in the sciences with friends to any great extent. To friends, I would just hang out and socialize but while alone I was passionately interested in sciences. In college, I wound up hanging out with a very "druggish" crowd and was high most of the time. I was no longer the "science nerd" during this period and basically just hung out with friends getting drunk and stoned. This girl who is autistic herself (formally diagnosed) thought that I was. She said I have a lot of "sensory signs". I have never had an overload or "meltdown" in the aspie sense and maybe it could have had something to with adhd or the fact that I rarely if ever talked to this girl while I was sober. I often didn't tell people if I was drunk, high, or even on other drugs so a lot of times I could have been messed up and she didn't know I was. Now, I have had some difficulties with executive functioning that are impairing my life at the moment and I am unsure where to turn or who to go to. Anyone with similar experiences (or unsimilar experiences) give me some much needed advice
29 Apr 2014, 8:00 pm
