My sons heart is hurt. :,(

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But seems so acceptable to make fun of people with invisible disabilities but with people who are so obvious, that is a no no. I didn't know it was okay to make fun of someone's nationality. I thought that would be racism or something. I do notice people mocking Americans though. I see jokes about it all the time online on other forums. Honestly it doesn't bother me despite being American. I even joked about it myself in my stories.

Oh, yeah, that's totally racism, whether it's ethnic jokes or refusing to hire somebody because they're too black. Some kinds hurt more than others, but any time people treat one person worse than another just because of their race, whether they're killing them or just making them the butt of their joke, it's racism. Some people, sometimes, can get away with it. Same with making fun of people with invisible disabilities--sometimes people get away with it. That doesn't make it right. The particular -ism you label the behavior with doesn't matter nearly as much as the fact that they're treating a fellow human being as though they're less than human; it's jerk behavior no matter who the target is.

This is really important to know: Just because people get away with hurting you, mistreating you, abusing you, because you are different--that does not make it okay for them to do those things. It's wrong, even if they never get punished. It's wrong even if they think it's okay. It's wrong even if they're popular and you're not. I wish every autistic kid knew that, and took it to heart, because there are an awful lot of jerks out there who think we make good targets, and we shouldn't have to stand for it.

Wow you guys, I NEVER would of imagined that I would receive this many replies about my son. Thank you all so very much for sharing your stories with me and I am learning SOOOO much from you.

Ahh yes. There was something similar here, well an article i believe it was Norway. 8 year old kid, nobody came to birthday.
http://ekstrabladet.dk/nationen/article2169470.ece

If you have google chrome it can somewhat translate the article without being to broken.

Its pretty damn brutal, it doesnt take many of that kind of experiences at that age to change a kid for life.

What can you do ? If it was me and i had a kid, step one find out what is wrong, talk with teacher get a meeting with the teacher and the kids parents. Step 2 move kid to another school.

Stuff like this cant just be fixed without doing anything. Even though im not a people person, i know i would have been pretty damn heart broken if this had been me as a kid.

The more tragic experiences you get like this as a kid, the more distant you will become and care less about other people.

People on the spectrum are known for brutal honesty not to upset people but you can not deal with a problem until you admit you have a problem.

Another thing you should learn I knew how poorly I was treated but I was ashamed to admit it and I hid it.

Your sons social skills might improve but if he is anything like most of us it will be a lifelong struggle.

Things are going to get worse when he gets into to his teens and get left out of the world of relationships and dating.

I am almost 40 and I have leaned to do things for MYSELF and not worry about fitting into groups.

Your son needs a hobby and I don't mean stamp collecting or something lame something that will keep him busy.


I am almost 40 and there is not point in having a party there is nobody to invite and I can't go on holiday as I don't want to go alone.


This is not a negative post by me I am hoping you will truly understand that the world of friendships and relationships is a dead end for many people on the spectrum and like me your son sounds like one of those cases.

What may surprise you is I am pretty content in my life I enjoy my job and admitting the above is not me feeling sorry for myself instead it is a release.

I find keeping myself busy keeps me happy I enjoy swimming going to the cinema and I am a food and eating out nut.

Being forced into situations in which I had to mix with other kids has only cased me emotional damage I know people on the spectrum tend to suffer from anxiety but I am convinced much of mine is caused but all the bullying torment and rejection I suffered at the hands of others especially during my time in school.

Cliches and denial and white lies make people on the spectrum paranoid.

Ignoring a bully will not make them go away and a bad situation like having a form of Autism and being a social outcast will not just fix itself over time.

It not all dome and gloom I have had the odd friend in my life but NEVER a social circle.

It might surprise you but I knew most of this from an early age but I did not have the words to explain it and even if I could have it would have sounded crazy we did not know about the Autism Spectrum years ago.


Your son has a big advantage over many of us here he has a diagnosis from childhood.

I went through this all alone but you son has a family who is aware of his difficulties.

As grim as the reading above might sound I have turned out content enough and I am sure your son is in a much better starting place thanks to people around him like you looking out for him.

The key is to have your son busy doing stuff an occupied mind is a happy mind.

Last edited by sharkattack on 01 May 2014, 8:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^^^ This.

I too had a mother who told me everything was my fault. She didn't understand. I was fine for the first four years of elementary school until it hit the fan. My school had a rule that the whole class must be invited to every birthday party. In grade 4, people started going behind the schools' back and mailing invites or having the student hand them out at lunch.

Interestingly, I didn't play parallel because my mom always insisted on playing with me and teaching me back and forth play. We played a lot of board games and imagination games with dolls so it really helped with role playing. Maybe you should try that? Next time that friend comes over you can play a board game with them. You have to insist. I know it helped me. Also enroll him in scouts, or art, or badminton (an aspie favourite among my ASD friends for some reason). It will help him make real friends, maybe outside school. He might hate it but he will thank you later. I don't blame the kids - why would they invite someone they don't know or never play with?

I know intimately how it feels to be excluded. Throughout high school I didn't go to a single party. I feel like I missed out on adolescence. But I have aspie friend that did not. Help him now so that he can feel more integrated (even if the integration is "manufactured" like a Boy Scout troupe) and learn social skills.

Good luck!

I just I would bump this thread up to ask you how your son birthday went?

Omg it was amazing!! ! Some kids from his class showed up without RSVPing. Blake (my son) told me "dad, that was the best birthday party ever!!" And gave me a huge hug. Brought tears to my eyes. I just love him so much.

Now that is really wonderful. I am so happy it turned out great.

Us too. My wife was soooo happy

This made my day.

Made me very happy, too☺️

What does "RSVPing" mean ?.

It is from a French saying that means request for a response.

So when you sent out an invitation it requests you reply with your intention to either attend or not.

I am not that smart I googled that answer.