Do your WP postings lack Social Reciprocity?

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b9
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03 May 2014, 9:50 am

i have little capacity for reciprocation. my style of conversation (both on line and in real life) generally leaves little room for reply.
when i talk, i do not talk in a way that invites co-operative consideration. i generally make observations or announcements, and they are often said in isolation to the flow of the general conversation (whilst still being relevant).

i like to cram everything i am thinking into what i will say, and it is more like a narrative of my ideas rather than a shared exploration of any topic. when i say something, i have already exhausted all my consideration about it, and so if someone speaks to me about what i have said, i have nothing to add. sometimes when people on wrong planet quote me and add their thoughts, i think "well there you go", but i rarely feel the need to revisit the thread.

i have never been the type of person who involves myself with other peoples lives or mindsets. there are 7 billion people on earth all with their own attitudes and opinions, and i am just one of them. it seems so insignificant to bother to detail myself to any one person. i would prefer to talk to hundreds of people simultaneously (as long as they do not talk back) rather than to talk to one. even then, i do not really care.

sometimes i wonder how it would be if i was a genius and had the most rapturous way of thinking, and the most scintillating ways of describing the world, yet was born alone on a world devoid of any other consciousness. would i feel despondent? would i feel less inclined to pursue my investigations into my musings? that is a question i can not answer because i am not a genius, but as i am, i would still continue to follow and explore my mind if there was no one i could tell about it.

many reciprocal conversations are had between people who do not feel that they have completed their consideration of a topic, and so they join forces to "plot" the rest of the course.
i do not say anything however until my findings are complete, so i am not a ripe choice for stimulating "banter"



foxfield
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03 May 2014, 2:17 pm

I usually post once on a thread then do not return to it, not even to read it.

I get obsessive in a way that is really hard to describe. It is an obsession about ideas and the way they are expressed. Adding my thoughts to a thread usually sparks off this obsession and I need to withdraw. It would be unusual that I would manage more than one reply per day.

I find reciprocity on forums too much to cope with, because it just makes the obsessive thoughts get even more intense.

Interestingly in real life, my reciprocity problems are due to an opposite cause. In real life, you do not have time to carefully formulate a response so the obsessive thoughts do not start. In real life, I simply can't think of something to say fast enough and so stay quiet. This is especially when the tone of the conversation is humourous, sarcastic or emotional in any way. I simply cannot find the words to say and the appropriate tone of voice etc. fast enough



Rocket123
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03 May 2014, 3:39 pm

linatet wrote:
...instead of having conversations it is more like a user is reading other posts as if an article on some topic and later comment what they think of what they read or how it relates to themselves or their experience.


linatet – I think this sums it up well for me. This is how I use WP (when responding to another’s post).

AgentPalpatine wrote:
Rocket123, I'd like to thank you for responding to my "goodbye" thread and remembering our exchange of posts over the last year. In the same vein, I wanted to share my thoughts on your OP and the thread.


AgentPalpatine – You are quite welcome. After thinking about it, there are a handful (or so) people on WP whose “thoughts” (for lack of a better term) really resonate with me. In some cases, they may have responded to a thread I started and provided advice (or whatever) that I found either helpful or wildly insightful. Or, maybe they just are active in the community and always have something pertinent or valuable to offer. When I open threads of topics that interest me, I will read their responses, for the opportunity to learn something new. In that way, I feel some form of connection to these members. Even if the feeling is not bi-directional.

As a note, there are some newspaper columnists whose opinions I value highly. I have that same sort of connection to those folks, even though they don't know I exist.

AgentPalpatine wrote:
As a general rule, I would make the rebuttable presumption that someone's online and offline communication styles are similar, depending on circumstances.


I tend to agree. In fact, I am now thinking that my most comfortable mode of interacting with other people is exactly the way linatet describes. I listen (as if reading an article) and occasionally make comments. I rarely lead the conversation, unless I am talking about a special interest (for which I can go on and on). And, I am awful at switching topics (as I struggle to find something different to talk about in real-time). I like the online format, as I can spend as much time as I want, thinking about precisely what I want to communicate.



1401b
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03 May 2014, 5:12 pm

auntblabby wrote:
who is worth arguing with?

Anyone.
Anyone may have thoughts or ideas worth hearing/learning.
'Out of the mouths of babes...'





( ^ I suppose that considering all the pron on the interweb, that's probably kinda gross phrase now)


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wblastyn
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03 May 2014, 6:45 pm

People rarely respond to my OP's and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong.



1401b
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03 May 2014, 7:12 pm

wblastyn wrote:
People rarely respond to my OP's and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong.

There may be four things that you're doing "wrong."

1. Maybe you're boring.
2. Maybe your post/question is too complex and no one knows how to answer or what to say.
3. Maybe your post is so complete and profound that there's nothing more to say. (This does happen)
4. Maybe your timing is off and either everyone's asleep or it gets washed away in a flood of new posts.

I don't remember* anything specific about your posts though so I'm just postulating.


*This may be my problem though, I have "a Mind like a Steel Trap"... it's already sprung, and rusted shut.


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wblastyn
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03 May 2014, 7:24 pm

Well this is the first I've posted here in a long time.

I'm not sure how I can be less boring. :(



hale_bopp
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03 May 2014, 8:27 pm

It depends. Do you quote and get to know other posters? Do you address people in your posts? If you just answer threads, noone is going to notice you.



1401b
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03 May 2014, 9:08 pm

wblastyn wrote:
Well this is the first I've posted here in a long time.

I'm not sure how I can be less boring. :(

Maybe you're not boring. You could be so entertaining that people are laughing so hard they need to run off an puke before they have a chance to post a reply, and those that don't run off first might have shorted out their computer by blasting soda outta their noses.
Never know...


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GibbieGal
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03 May 2014, 9:12 pm

1401b wrote:
wblastyn wrote:
Well this is the first I've posted here in a long time.

I'm not sure how I can be less boring. :(

Maybe you're not boring. You could be so entertaining that people are laughing so hard they need to run off an puke before they have a chance to post a reply, and those that don't run off first might have shorted out their computer by blasting soda outta their noses.
Never know...


Good thing I didn't have any soda when I read this...



wblastyn
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04 May 2014, 12:39 pm

1401b wrote:
wblastyn wrote:
Well this is the first I've posted here in a long time.

I'm not sure how I can be less boring. :(

Maybe you're not boring. You could be so entertaining that people are laughing so hard they need to run off an puke before they have a chance to post a reply, and those that don't run off first might have shorted out their computer by blasting soda outta their noses.
Never know...

Lol well at least no one could ever accuse you of being boring. ;)



ChampionRobot
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04 May 2014, 1:19 pm

(new here)

I think this is fairly common behaviour across the internet, not just in this context.

A: I think this, this, this and this. What say you?

B, C and D: We think this.

A: (new thread) Today I think this and this.

Etc.

People (in general) seem to favour their own proverbial voices. The thing that first started me on the road to (perhaps) AS diagnosis was my increasing bafflement at the way regular people seem to bang on and on about themselves by way of conversation...



CyclopsSummers
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04 May 2014, 3:32 pm

Can I just say I'm glad that so many people here seem to experience this in ways similar to what I feel? I sometimes worry about replying to a post that was submitted in reply to my post, because I don't know what to say. Also, I often post 'monologue'-style posts. But I honestly find the vast majority of posts that I read here on WrongPlanet intriguing (no hyperbole).


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Ann2011
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04 May 2014, 3:40 pm

Rocket123 wrote:
During the past year, I have posted > 800 times on WP. During this time, I have noticed that certain members on WP are more effective at “engaging” the community than others (by engage, I mean the back and forth postings that is the online equivalent of conversation).

I think it depends on the nature of the thread. More so than the nature of the poster's reciprocal ability, although that obviously comes into play too.



kraftiekortie
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04 May 2014, 6:36 pm

Is your icon playing cricket?

Sometimes, icons invite reciprocity.



Ann2011
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04 May 2014, 7:12 pm

She is. In heels, no less. She's a cutie.