First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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I would describe mine as a constant undercurrent that spikes with stress.

I'm an Aspie and a martial arts instructor. I have a 10 yr old child in one of my classes who is clearly either HFA or AS ( I won't list all the symptoms here but he is a textbook case). The parent (NT) doesn't realize the child's social problems.
NT's: As a parent, would you want that brought to your attention? If so how?
AS's (With meltdown issues): Are there any cues that let me know a meltdown is going to happen before it does?

That's an EXCELLENT description!! !!

I also feel that way, it is almost always their but depending on the situation it could be very high or low, for instance I'm always anxious in school but when I'm working away I'm way less anxious than if I'm trying to ask something/approach somebody.

Generally speaking, IMO, "No"----because everybody has different triggers----and everybody's triggers manifest differently.

That being said, some signs might be: whining, loss of focus, fidgeting, not willing to comply with instructions, suggesting to change the instructions, temper tantrum, aggression toward another child / instructor, they might isolate themselves over in a corner, for instance (this, IMO, is like "self-medicating"; when we can't control what's going-on, on the INside, we control what's going-on on the OUTside----in this case [isolation]----getting-away from the "hub-bub" of it all).

I have a question for younger NT's but anybody can answer.

So how would you feel approaching somebody with AS if you knew they had it before you even talked to them, their where others in that school with more serve AS and that person themselves was pretty shy and hurt by the past and tried to hide as to say?

^^ I'm asking this because this has been my experience in school, I know I may not have helped myself by being shy, very withdrawn almost, I wanted friends but was hurt by years of bully and still am, It's just these people where taught about AS around 12 years old (Year 7) and where informed that I had AS, also I would have a supportive staff member with me. Any answers about how this would make you feel towards approaching that person (aka me years back) would be appropriated as I'm curious to find out if it was more my actions being withdrawn, shy or people being informed of my AS.

CJH123:

I'm an Aspie, but felt compelled to respond to your post.....

I don't think your school (if I'm understanding you, correctly) should have informed ANYONE that you were / are an Aspie----I think that should have been YOUR decision ONLY. Yeah, it probably didn't help that you were shy----but, you can only fix that, when you can. I think people should be allowed to "blend-in" as much as they can. Everybody can find a friend----someone with like-interests, etc. Then, if you felt you wanted to confide in that person, you could. I think your school did a dis-service to you. I would suggest now----if you're out of school----or, if you go to somewhere new (some social event, or something) to NOT let it be known beforehand that you're an Aspie, and just let things flow, as they might.

Thanks for the kind words, sadley im still at this school (in the sixth forum) for another school year yet but I am trying its just well extreamly difficult but I appreciate your advice and was asking out of intreast really as to how I may come off to people knowing im AS of the bat, sadley I was never really told but people 100% knew because in my first year I was integrating (onky attending a few classes) and I always hasanother AS student with me and a support TA and I had them really most of the time right up until the start if my GCSES. People in my school are taught about AS but idk dose not seem to me anyway to make them more understand its more that they madr jokes, they dont hurt any of the AS kids but they have a laugh about them and they way they act sometimes as I have while working iver heard these conversations. But maybe its the way iv gone about it as outta all the AS students nobody say's a thing about me at all .

Question for both "camps":
I commonly ignore information that I'm not intentionally pay attention to. (Examples: I get home, and a family member asks if it's windy outside. I have no idea since i don't register in my memory if it's windy unless it's very strong so it bothers me. Or I'm talking to somebody, and someone yells "Attention!" behind us, about to run me over with a cart. I don't react because I ignore audio output other than the conversation.)

Is this a typical NT information filtering strategy (that perhaps autistics lack, causing them to be overwhelmed)? Or is it, to the contrary, an autistic information filtering strategy, to avoid having to process too much information? (Well, or neither of course.)

Thank you Campin_Cat! I had not thought about this and it is a great way to present the fact that Aspies are people too to my somewhat ignorant eighth grade classmates

CJH123:
I'm not sure if this entirely answers your question, but there is a boy in my grade (8th) who has AS. Know that people will sometimes laugh when he speaks (because he has a fake British accent that makes him sound like Austin Powers:) or say "He's annoying". Because he is fairly open about his Aspergers (he did a presentation in his science class about it) I will sometimes respond with "You know he has Aspergers Syndrome, right?" The response is usually "Oh, really?" or "Yeah, of course" in a way that makes it clear that they didn't. This pattern of responses is not, I believe, because of people's lack of knowledge, but more because the people who do know are more accepting once they know. I live in a place that claims to be diverse and accepting, but I find people to often be un-accepting and judgmental until there is something to be accepted for. If you bump into a wall people will likely laugh, but if you're blind and you walk into a wall (even if it is not because you're blind) the only you will hear will be that of those around you asking if you are ok.

CJH123: I'm so sorry you're struggling-----I know how difficult it is-----hang-in there.....

duckdevil8: You're quite welcome! Also, I like what you said to CJH123. It's true that people are alot more sympathetic when they can "see" what is wrong with someone----or, at least, when they see someone in a wheelchair, they have no way of knowing whether the person is in the wheelchair because they suffer from Multiple Sclerosis, or because they have a spinal cord injury from a diving accident----but they can see it's "something". With "brain things", they can't see to what they should be reacting.

Hello,

This might seem like a really basic (possibly stupid) question but does anyone here with AS ever feel patronised by NT's and what are some examples?

I ask because I am a socially phobic NT and my penpal/friend has AS. We would love to meet up at some point in the future but part of my anxiety is if I said something that was considered patronising.

Any replies are appreciated.

Are there aspies that are able to understand non-verbal communication and sarcasm as well as an NT can?

TL;DR--If I understand correctly, yes.

It is my understanding (though I am no professional) that one does not need to have every possible symptom of an autistic spectrum disorder to be diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder; thus, while deficits in understanding non-verbal communication and sarcasm are diagnostic criteria for an ASD, one can lack these symptoms and still be diagnosed with an ASD provided that one has a sufficient number of other symptoms in the social domain.

Also, many individuals who lack the ability to understand non-verbal communication and sarcasm on an intuitive/natural level have learned to do so on an intellectual level; many users here have reported "studying" non-verbal behavior to the point of having many facial expressions and gestures "memorized" in the same way that one would memorize, say, multiplication tables. I am not sure that I have a strong intuitive since of sarcasm, for example, but I have taught myself how to gauge a statement against its likelihood to be correct (i.e. Would one really think that it is "wonderful" that their car broke down on their way to work?) to deduce when a comment might be sarcastic.

Actually, inquiring about how to avoid patronizing a particular individual or group is a rather good question to ask.

Many people mistake a delay in processing for a lack of comprehension, which sometimes leads to patronization; some individuals on the autistic spectrum can sometimes take a bit longer to decode and process spoken speech or other sensory input, meaning that they make take longer than usual to respond in conversation or to react to a situation (the best thing to do in these situations is to give the individual a while to respond, provided that they are not in immediate danger).

As an example, my sister and I were at the laundromat one day. We were drying a blanket that we had washed; the timer went off, but the blanket was still moist. I took several seconds (maybe a minute?) to feel the blanket; I was attempting to gauge exactly how moist it was and for how much longer it would need to be dried. My sister took this as me not understanding that the blanket was moist; she then quipped that the blanket was wet and that it would mold if not dried; she then asked if I knew what "mold" meant. Mind you, I had just turned nineteen and am considered to have a fairly decent grasp on scientific knowledge; I mos certainly knew what "mold" meant and was a bit taken aback that my sister had insinuated otherwise (all was forgiven, though).

Also, one accidentally being patronizing is a mistake commonly made and, thus, commonly forgiven among human exchanges (though I understand that anxiety is not always assuaged by the commonality and forgivability of a feared mistake). I hope that all goes well when you do eventually get to meet your penpal.