"'Sup Dude?"

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No kidding, huh? I used to give a full multi-sentence answer about how I was feeling at the moment until I eventually figured out (I think I read it somewhere) that nobody cared. It was just a long way of saying "hi." I think I was in my mid-20's when I started asking it back. It never crossed my mind prior to that to say, "I'm good. How are you?" because I never really cared how that person was feeling emotionally.

Also, I hate being called "dude." I just don't like the way it sounds. I feel it sounds like a pejorative statement.

Smile and say "Hey". It's not an actual question just a hipster way of saying Hello. I like random meaningless greetings as they're little connections with other people that have no real pressure on the interaction. Someone says Hello, they're acknowledging that you exist and they feel semi positive towards you. You say Hello back, connect briefly then you both move on. It's pleasant.

If they call you "dude" it's because they think you are cool. I get that a lot especially from my brother's friends. There is nothing at all to be offended by in that. It's actually a very cool greeting given to people whom cool people think are cool. So don't be offended qawer. Rather you should feel honored that they would say that to you. And a properly accepted response is, "Hey man, S'up"

Yeah, I've come to recognise that people call you things like 'dude' (or 'mate' here in the UK) as a way of attempting to appear less threatening / trying to be friendly. I know that being called by a generic term such as 'Dude' can feel belittling, but it really says more about the other persons insecurity than yours.

Trust me, just learn a stock response and then forget about it.

Exactly. That is how it can make me feel (if said the "right" way). Belittled. But I know one should not put that much into it. Just as one should not put that much into anything in the realm of the social NT. It is sometimes easier said than done.

Not "sup" but S'up" as in "Whas s'up" or "what's up" meaning "how is it going".

Even though it may feel belittling to you, it is usually never meant that way. It is usually meant like the same as "friend" or "buddy".

It's like sometimes my brother calls me "girl" or even "little girl" but it is never belittling. It is always out of love and affection.

I find that greeting very annoying. I prefer a hello and a handshake.

I detest it. Both the "what's up?" and the "dude" parts. I used to work with a guy who said "what's up?" all the time and I'd always answer, THE SKY or THE CEILING. Also a former boyfriend used to say "dude" to me all the time and I really hated it. I did not appreciate being spoken to the same way he would have talked to a guy. It made me feel like I meant nothing to him.



Yeah. WOW. That's it. You put that so succinctly. That's what I hate about it.

I also can't stand it when a person uses some term of endearment like "sweetie" or "darling" and they just say it to everyone so it doesn't really mean anything personal to them.

This "inherent worth" is basically a matter of being in charge. When you are fully in charge you have inherent worth. Being socially ridiculed is a way others use to tell you they are your leader, implying that you are no longer in charge.

That is the main problem about being social. You have to give up your inherent worth to be accepted by the group.

Either you have inherent worth or you have group accept. You cannot have both, unless you are the Alpha in the group.

Dude, chill out. It's just a friendly greeting. No one is trying to dominate you by calling you dude.

I'd respond, "Whasup man?"

This^^^ It really is just that. Trust me, no one who says it puts all that thought into it. It really is just a very friendly and casual type of greeting and that is all it is.

I've gotten this from some of the younger guys at work. I usually just nod and say "Hi" (or "Yo"--though not often).

Doesn't bother me. Being "one of the guys" has always been a good thing for me--in school, my closest friends were always male.

I say this all the time and people say it to me as well.

I can certainly understand why you wouldn?t wish to hear ?dude? from your boyfriend!


I know that some people will just use those all the time.
I only use them when I mean something with it (care about them, feel for them). I have thought it about 3 people, but I only actually called two of them sweetie (my ex, and someone who was much younger than me). I didn?t say it to the third because I didn't know how they?d react. Would it be bad to call someone you like (not like-like, nothing like that at all) sweetie?