contradictions on this forum

Post Reply New Topic

after searching through this forum a bit I have recently noticed threads contradicting each other, and it all becomes confusing.

like in earlier threads from a year or two years ago or more I have been looking there and noticed discussions in a couple of threads discussing how most aspies give of a vibes that make people in public intimidate or draw attention to, even if they are acting normal etc, now just seen a recent thread stating its aspies that can sense peoples vibes and not Nts.

then in another thread members have wrote that Nts observe the people around them, then recently a thread springed up implying that it is more common in aspies to observe the people around them.

then I saw more but cant think off hand but these are two examples anyway what have confused me. does this sort of thing happen on online forums or do some people just make up aspie traits as they go along or think everything they do is due to autism? your thoughts?

It's a little bit of both. On any message board you visit, there will be different often contradicting, schools of thought that are adhered to by a number of people.

And yes, here on WP sometimes will misattribute certain things they've noticed in their lives to their ASD, though I wouldn't phrase it quite so that they're 'making things up' per se.

Sometimes, also, certain statements or theories that might seem contradictory at first glance, might not be so at all upon closer inspection. To use your example, when someone says that socially normal people observe people around them more than autistics do, it could mean that normal people are more aware of all the people around them, and of the behaviour they're displaying at any given time, because they're more socially oriented.
But when it is stated that autistics more commonly oberve the people around them than non-autistic people do, it might refer to autistics who are actively trying to make sense of the behaviour of the people around them by applying logical observation, because we usually don't have the social intuition.

TL;DR:, sometimes a seeming contradiction is not a contradiction on this forum, and sometimes there are various competing schools of thought.

Joe90 made a funny thread about this awhile back. There are the "is having a small head an aspie thing?" and "is having a big head an aspie thing?" ect. ect.

This is not actually a book or a research paper. This is a group of people sharing their views of their condition and the world in general, be it NT's, how autism affects member's lives or any other subject. Like with anything where you have a lot of different people with all their own distinct personalities and views on life, opinions differ per person and change through time. This forum doesn't provide you with truth and facts, but with discussion and perhaps some new insights.

Mostly discussion.

I for example believe this thread doesn't really exist.

Different people post different things. Also, everyone has opinions on what traits are associated with Asperger's. Not even the experts are in perfect agreement. My personal solution has been to ignore everything but the diagnostic criteria listed in the DSM, which is published by the American Psychiatric Association and is considered the "bible" of mental health diagnosis in the U.S.

Its not contradictory, its not the same thing. I don't know whether feeling "vibes" is an Aspie/Autistic thing, or if NTs can feel "vibes", I'm not sure whether they are able to understand what another person feels or think simply by observing physical signs (in addition to their general behavior, words and actions), or if they can feel their "vibes" as well, but I think here "vibes" is meant as a "6th sense" thing. For example, I always felt somewhat uneasy around one of my ex-husband's cousin, but she smiled at me and seemed nice, so I assumed that this "vibe" I was getting from her was just my imagination. But at some point one of his uncles, whom I liked and who liked me, told me the truth about this cousin, and how she didn't like me and kept talking badly about me behind my back. So I was getting some kind of "vibe" from her, but I had no idea about any of this, I was just feeling uneasy. I can't talk for others, but personally I can sometimes feel other people's physical pain as well. On the other hands bullies, for example, seem to be able to tell who they can pick on, but again I don't know whether they can feel a "vibe" or if they can tell simply by the person's general behavior and body language.



Again its not contradictory. NTs "observe" people around them as well, but for them it is "natural", it is (probably somewhat) effortless, most the time they probably don't even realise that they are "observing" others because it is as natural for them as blinking their eyes. Its by observing and understanding the "signs" (body language and words) that they understand the general social dynamics, of a group for example. For example, a NT will look at someone's face during a conversation and probably be able to get a general idea of what the other person is feeling at the moment, to understand whether this other person is enjoying the conversation or is getting bored, etc (unless the other person is really good at bluffing). That's why when people play poker they really have to make a special effort not to show their emotions or else the others will be able to "read" them. While for an autistic person observing is not effortless, it is a conscious effort, you consciously and intentionally observe others hoping that you will understand what they are thinking or feeling, hoping that you will be able to understand their body language and behavior in general.

Also, as Summers pointed out, at least in the examples you gave, its not necessarily an autistic trait, they might be just human traits, some of these traits possibly more or less common in Aspies or NTs. Maybe some NTs can feel vibes too, maybe they consciously "observe" people too, for example the psychologist who observes his patient's behavior.

Last edited by Shadi2 on 27 May 2014, 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't remember making that thread but I will look for it.

I do agree with Caz72 a bit, because when I used to be obsessively paranoid about people looking at me in public and explained in detail that it's not the clothes I wear or a type of body language blah blah blah, I got told by a few posters here that maybe it's a vibe I give off and they might sense it, even if I am following the other rules.

I remember that you were going through a really rough time because of this when I first came here. Do you feel better about it now?

I do feel somewhat better now, thanks for asking. It still bothers me a little bit when I feel people turning their heads towards me to look at me as I pass even though I'm not looking at them I still sort of feel it and also see it in my periphery, but I think it's because I'm thinking about it as I pass people, and if they just move their head an inch my brain immediately thinks it's me they're looking at. But it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I just get a bit bothered at the time, and then move on. After all, I know that I look fine and my posture has got better, and if I do still give off the wrong vibes then there's evidently nothing I can do about it.

I think that AS is complex. People with AS have certain difficulties which they learn to work around. In the process of working around those difficulties they may learn things that NT wouldn't know. It would be like someone who is blind having abilities that normal people do not have.

Well, there's a number of ways of looking at this.

Firstly, aspies are people too and sometimes people contradict themselves, especially over time. Opinions sometimes change faster than a politicians promises and there's nothing we can do about it.

Secondly, as Asperger's is a spectrum disorder you're going to get people here with a wide variety of symptoms. Some aspies are outgoing whilst others are a lot more reserved for example. There's also the technology thing, some aspies can program your new DVR without the manual whilst others get confused in a phone booth.

Lastly of course there are the trolls, twenty people will think one way but there's always someone willing to pick an argument

I know those were only examples, but like Shadi said they are not contradictions. Sure there will be contradictions about other topics but that's because people have different experiences. I think this can be frustrating too, because I would like people to debate things until they reach a conclusion and the contradiction is solved, but that's not what usually happens, they only state different opinions and that's it.