Stores and restaurants that are TOO friendly

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That's one of the things that really shocked and annoyed me when I visited New York in 1993 - how in your face shop staff are, and how chatty.

The worst offenders for exasperating friendliness would have to be any place which sells makeup and/or personal care products (Sephora, Bath and Body Works, Lush, Nordstrom; any of those "mall" retailers).

It annoys me when employees of any store come up to me and ask me if I need help. If I need help, I'll look for an employee to help me (which you can never find. They're either breathing down your neck or nowhere to be found). The place where this most annoys me is Best Buy. I don't shop there much anymore because I mostly shop online now, but when/if I do, I have already done extensive research and know exactly what I'm looking for. I don't need an employee to "help" me (ie. try to upsell me to a more expensive item. And I usually know more about the item than the employees do, so no, I sincerely don't need your "help"). Half the time, I can't find what I'm looking for in the store, so I just end up buying it from Amazon where it's usually cheaper.
I used to buy video games at best buy, but they're the same price everywhere, so it doesn't matter where I buy them. (I used to get them from Best buy for their reward points, but the points always expire before I get a chance to use them, so there's no point). The last time I bought something at best buy was about 4 years ago when I bought my Xbox 360.

So, what do they do if someone is only buying condoms or tampons?

I also love shopping online. Last christmas I did all of my shopping online, and I was done in about an hour. No pushy, rude crowds, no crowded bus, no standing and waiting in the cold. I bought everything in the comfort of my own house, while wearing my pyjamas.

can't think of any place in particular but of course i hate it. it just always feels very intrusive when they do that to my parents (even though they don't seem to mind). and especially hate it when they decide to include me. i always want to be able say, "would you please get out of our faces and go away?"

Next time, say "yes" and ask to transfer $3,000,000 to a prince in Nigeria you just got an e-mail from.

If they tell you that you don't have $3,000,000, let them know you're pretty sure the Nigerian prince is also not real.

Hm, I had that happen a few times at the till when I bought something new or interesting, I thought it was genuine.

If it wasn't for the fact most of these "pushers" are college graduates who are forced into sh^#$$ty jobs because they were lied to about opportunities I would. I understand they hate doing it and I try to be nice about it. Still, I am probably going to switch banks if they keep this crap up: I already have 4 different bank accounts for just such a reason.


I actually once had the alarm go off at the exit doors at the Grocery store. The guy wanded the bag, wanded my jacket like at the airport and it was still going off. He then asked to go through my bag. I said yes because I wanted to figure out what the heck was causing it and took off my sweatshirt looking for a hidden security tag. He starts calling out loud all the items in the bag and checking them to the receipt and the last item he pulled out was a large box of condoms. He did not call that out but I should have said "and I plan on opening them FIRST when I get home!" He just said "thank you" and let me be on my way probably too embarrassed to say anything else at that point. Never did figure out what set the alarm off and it never happened again.

I can see how most people would have been leery of buying items such as tampons, pads or lubes (or even men buying women's clothes) at Zellers because of their idiotic policy. It's one thing to genuinely comment on an item and another to tell employees to make such remarks on almost everything a customer buys. I always thought it was weird how the cashiers made such comments and how they seemed a little too happy about my crappy T-shirt until I guy I knew told me they had to and they had undercover shoppers made sure they did it as well. Good thing I didn't have a girlfriend to shop for at the time! I can hear it now "those high heels you are buying really match the skirt, sir! We also have a large selection of panties as well" I think not only Aspies but men in generally can't stand small talk at the register!

I think it is sometimes, if the person only says something about one or two items. It's just that this particular branch of the store (the other Publix stores in my town aren't like this, just the one closest to my house) seems to push their employees to comment about every other item.

They are also quite aggressive with their cart policy, they won't leave you alone if you say you don't want help out to your car. In fact, they pretty much grab the cart away from you. They even have a sign up for their employees with helpful tips on how to get a customer to let them take their cart. It's really annoying.

This reminds me of a funny story. During a long stint with unemployment, I took a job in a supermarket, so I wouldn't have to live on just Ramen noodles and $1 menu hamburgers. I was doing a walkthrough, checking to see how long checkout lines are, to see if I need to get on a register. I saw a kid who didn't look older than 16, with a box of condoms in his hand, looking a little lost. I knew he was embarrassed to go to a regular checkout. So I went up to him, and quietly said "we have self-checkout machines if you need one, sir". He looked at me like I just pulled him out of a burning building, mumbled "thanks", and took my advice. (I was 26 or 27 at the time.)

The tellers at Wells Fargo are so saccharine, that it's disturbing.

Wow, I haven't run into either of those things at Publix (the cart policy or the comments on what you buy). I would really have a fit if someone yanked my cart away from me. That must be one whacked out store.

They make comments like that at the Trader Joe's I shop at (oh this is so good, have you tried this before, etc.) and it is really phony because it is so obvious they are just doing that because they are supposed to. And when I used to buy cat food there they would keep asking me how many cats I have. I ran into that problem at a local pet store too and I finally complained and they stopped doing it. Same at Kohls, the cashiers would always comment on the things I was buying, until I complained.

What really pushes me over the edge at Trader Joe's is the way they probe for a response. I will respond politely as long as they are polite. But when they start asking me nosy personal questions I stop talking. Anywhere else, a normal person would just let it go and finish ringing up my purchase, but oh no, not the people at Trader Joe's. They insist on getting a response.

I like Kroger because most of the time, the employees really can't be arsed to bother anyone. But once in awhile one of them at the self-checkout - come to think of it, it may actually be the same person - detains me with "helpfulness" as I'm trying to leave. Today she asked if I needed help to my car, twice, and wished me a good day 3 times. This is the kind of thing that makes me feel like I will nut up.

I keep wondering why they don't get it, when I say "thank you" very pointedly, in a way that means "ok I don't need anything else" and I avert my eyes and turn away, or even walk away from them, WHY do they persist in trying to talk to me? I wonder if the lack of eye contact makes them feel like they need to pursue further.

Exactly how I feel

We're supposed to be getting a Trader Joe's in a nearby town soon, so it will be interesting to see if they are like that here too. They sound very annoying.

I actually found out a little bit about Publix's cart policy here (the first answer), https://answers.yahoo.com/question/inde ... 748AAsMgN4 I wonder if all Publix stores have this policy, but only a few actually enforce it the way mine does.

What really bugs me about super nice employes is the unwanted attention they draw. As you know, ASD people naturally don't want attention being drawn to then and I am no exception.

Wow, I'm just so clueless. I really thought they were being sincere when they did things like this LOL
However, if they ask me something that sounds like they are trying to get me to spend more money ("I bet this would go good with asparagus"), then I do catch that and subsequently feel resentful.
I wish I could be more open and cheerful like those employees seem to be. I have to really dig deep down inside to say a compliment to someone just to make them feel good. I always think I must come off as really insincere when I do, but I have to remind myself that people like that sort of stuff no matter how badly I execute it. I appreciate receiving compliments, and I have to remind myself to give more of them, to spread the joy, so to speak. I don't like feeling like I'm being socially made to do these things, but I realize that it is important to get along with people. It took me over 40 years to figure this all out. I have to put my own feelings aside to be a more likeable person. Ugh.
There are some people who really are that cheerful and nice. I envy them. Although on some level they probably have other less than stellar qualities. But I can appreciate that they spread around some type of joy that I feel very lacking in. I can act at it for a short period, but it is draining and I certainly can't act and sell something at the same time. Focusing on the acting part is already too hard. If I have to think about selling something that just demands a whole different part of my brain that doesn't work well simultaneously with the acting part.