I only feel normal when I am drinking

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In my view, yes. If you drink in order to feel good and it happens often, it's addiction. But if you realize that you have a problem, it's a good sign. Just apply for help and overcome this addiction

^
what he said.

The drinking is obviously a form of "self medication" for some condition that needs to be looked into.

Had a friend in college who told he would have bouts of anxiety attacks and things, and that they would go away when he drank. So he thought he was insane, and that the alcohol made the insanity go away. He said that he learned later that the alcohol was actually causing it. The heavy drinking assualting his nervous system. So the thing that your self medicating for with drink could itself be a symptom of alcoholism.