Do others with AS dislike being touched if not expected?

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I couldn't describe it better myself! In fact, I was just talking about this with my doctor last week, when I had to have a little emergency surgery without being under anesthetic, and I dealt with it fine. I think that was possible for me, and not usually even THINKABLE for NTs, is because I have been forced to deal with uninvited touches all my life without letting it go to a meltdown. I was perfectly able to deal with being cut open and stitched up just by the doctor announcing what he was doing; step by step. No flinching or jumping (except when he was using an electrocautery instrument, which sent electric shocks and caused twitches I couldn't control).

NTs, in my experience have NO CLUE just how invasive and even painful, a sudden touch on the shoulder is to us!! !! If we could explain this to the NT world, maybe they'd lay off with the "socially traditional" physical ambush attacks such as shoulder taps or arm pokes.

Charles

I find touch can trigger very sexual feelings. Especially light touch. So if someone touches me with light touch I get extremely uncomfortable if I am not intimate with the person, it makes me feel really really queasy. Even as I love my husband but not feeling sexual at the moment, if he touches me lightly or in the wrong place I react kinda violently and severely. He still doesn't understand it. I love hugs, really hard tight hugs. The tighter the better, so that I feel the wind being squeezed out of me. I have learned to do a medium hug. Light hugs are annoying, and why even bother?

In a lot of ways, touch is a metaphor for my general interaction with people.

I find it hard to start talking to people; I find it hard to "reach out and touch someone."
I'd rather feel pain than a light brush; I'd rather people be rude to me than fake.
If we are close, I often want to touch; If we are close, I will share my deepest self.
I don't want fake hugs any more than fake conversation.
Don't pretend you love me through being touchy-feely; don't pretend to love me with smiles that don't mean anything.
If you don't want to be real, what's the point?
But truly real feels so good.

This is EXACTLY how I am. Right down to the sensitivity to random (nonhuman, such as spider web, etc.) things touching me.

I always know when there is a bug on me...

Hugs from loved ones are okay, but a tap on the shoulder out of nowhere bothers me.

If you are not my wife or daughter. Hands off.

Even with my son - I have to initiate contact for it not to bother me.

I don't care if you are my mother or a complete stranger...don't touch me.

I can tolerate most unexpected touch. I will usually jump in some way though. But don't touch me on the back of the shoulders even if expected. I won't strike out, but I will chew you out for doing it.

There are people who do not know when there is a bug on them?



I HAVE TO brush the spot where I am touched especially if it is unexpectedly. The most sensitive areas for me shoulders to neck. No matter how much I try to control it I just got to jump back at least a little bit when touched in those regions. Most people get puzzled by my reactions.

So I guess I'm not the only person to brush off a spot that someone unexpectedly touched me. Is that common for others with Aspergers? I knew 3 people whom I believe were also Aspies. I don't remember them doing that, another one also didn't like being touched unexpectedly (she was my girlfriend at the time).

Yes I would say I am rather like that, I am alright if the touch is expected or wanted but if someone touches me randomly, or hugs me I do not like it and I do feel a surge of anger at being touched even if it's by family or my girlfriend who sometimes looks taken aback by my angry face and then I have to apologize and explain that I didn't see it coming so it was painful, I think she understands at this point that she has to be aware of it I can't be caught off guard or it won't feel nice.

Sometimes, even when I am touched by someone I know and am expecting it, my skin gets a weird feeling. So, I have to rub the area to kind of spread around and distribute the feeling evenly. Then the person can touch me again and it doesn't bother me.

I also get chills up my back randomly. Does this happen to anyone?

I have a related question, sort of the flip side of the original poster's question. Do normal people crave touch and use touch to communicate to each other?

let's just say it is not unknown for that to happen.

my kids: o.k. -
strangers, and even some close relatives: big NO.

And hug time is decided by me, can get EXTREMELY ehum -annoyed- with peeps touching me (esp. on my back!) just because they want to.
cannot stand it and consider it a huge violation.

I wonder if the military has particular significance to the "hand on shoulder" touch - perhaps one of the few permitted touches between different ranks? It's some memory niggling at my brain.

I have done a LOT of learning about body language over the last year. Yes, touch is used very often as a means of communication. It really is quite remarkable.

http://www.changingminds.org/techniques ... uching.htm

Unfortunately, knowing how influential touching can be does not really make me want to try it. There's a few people I know that I am very comfortable standing near, and we each have our personal bubble. We haven't ever so much as shaken hands, but we enjoy conversation.