How do you react to being teased?

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i actually was homeschooled in 9th grade for a bit, but i dont know... i liked it at first, and then i got bored with the work, and i dont know what happend lol...
as for now, i just stuff it, mainly because im not able to react well to those people who live in the same appartment building as me. and im not even able to explain what all it is that they are doing. the best thing im able to do, is voice record it, but by the time i get it up on my phone, the intial thing has already passed, and the rest is just minor. ive had a problem where i had to get a proctection order against someone(due to threats, stalking, breaking in, and a few other reasons) and a few weeks ago i was told that i was worse than a "prostitu**" and "because atleast prostitu**s do it for money, but she does it for nothing." and more.. which i actually got that recorded but that was the ending of what transpired before that person saying that. but recording seems to be the only way in able to express what is going on, and most people dont want to spend the time to listen to it either. so its almost pointless for me to even record it to let someone else know whats going on.

Wow! That is horrible. I can't imagine living like that. I have the deepest respect for you!

People quickly call a girl a wh*re. When a guy screws around with 10 girls he gets respect for it but when women do it they are called a wh*re pretty quickly. Is there a reason why they say this? Do you quickly have sex with someone? Not for attention I hope or to be liked more? Or do guys only use you for sex? That would be horrible for you. Or do they just call you that without reason? Sorry for the personal question.

When a person just stuffs it it kind of builds up inside until it forces itself out and you just can't take it anymore. I wish you had someone to talk to about all this.

If you want to PM me and talk sometime, feel free.

Saphie it isn't right that you're being treated like that, and it goes way beyond teasing and is really sexual harassment at least or maybe even something worse. I'm sorry to hear about it. It's awful, the double standard as Protector mentioned. I've ranted about it elsewhere on the web recently--that women get degraded for doing the same thing that men get admired for, and vice versa. If a man is still a virgin people wonder what's wrong with him, they don't treat is as a virtue for men to wait for the wedding night. But it's awful, somehow, for a woman to gain experience. Where are men supposed to gain experience, if any woman who will consent is a sl*t or a wh*re or prosti**te? But then you turn it around, and when a man wants to get experience, the women who won't consent are teases or b****es.

This may be edging into a topic that should be in another part of the forum, though.

This. This is how I feel, except it isn't always a relief to know they were teasing. Sometimes it makes it worse--like I'll think "why would you tease me about that? Don't you know how sensitive a topic that is for me?" Or if it's a thing I've been getting lectured at, scolded about, berated, harangued and belittled for for several hours a day for the last ten days--that isn't teasing to me, whether the person teasing me says so or not. It's more like, the criticism and correction you've received in private for this bad behaviour of yours isn't enough; I'm going to humiliate you in public for it, too. Then maybe you'll see how serious it is and change your wicked ways! This is especially so if the person doing the so-called teasing has authority over me--like my supervisor, my pastor or my husband. And with my husband, it doesn't matter if he thinks he's teasing and that it should be obvious that he's teasing and any NORMAL person would know it was teasing, just relax, learn to laugh at yourself, why are you so uptight, you made everybody so uncomfortable when you acted like my little tease was as if I had taken off my belt and beat you with it! Yeah, I've heard all those things from him when he "teases" me in front of other people. His teasing never strikes me as teasing anymore, it always strikes me as criticism, discipline, and correction. No, I don't see the subtle difference between joking around in a relaxed group of laughing people and telling me how bad it is to correct people's pronunciation, or always needing to have the last word in an argument, or refusing to admit that I might be wrong about something. If you were scolding me for doing a thing three hours ago, it's not "just teasing" to tell the people you're socializing with that I do that too, isn't it funny and aren't strong-willed women just sooooo silly and stubborn. Tee-hee. Not.



I wish I could do that. But it seems if I do, I would later get spun around again and told "yeah, you may have thought I was just teasing you about that but I'm dead serious. It's very rude and disrespectful of you to (example) yawn while we're conversing. I may have teased you about it at the time but I seriously want you to change that, and if you ever do it again there will be consequences.

Plus I can't seem to tease other people. When I try, they take me seriously and get offended. You can always say "I was only teasing" but they never treat you the same after that--it's like you've gone from having a casual but friendly or cordial relationship with them to being a toxic meanie that they can't trust to be polite. Maybe it's a matter of time and place, I don't know, but I seem to be rather good at picking the wrong time/place/topic/subject for what I meant to be friendly, affectionate teasing. :sigh:

If I can't beat them, I join them. My friends and I call each other Sid all the time. :O)

it was involuntary.
but i havent spoken of it to anyone where im at.. they only know what he has said to them.

thanks for the pm offer. im using my iphone, and i dont explore the site as much as i would on a computer so i dont know how exactly to do that yet lol..

This sounds to me like disguised criticism an not teasing. It sounds more like torture. To me he's just being a jerk (to put it politely). Men always have those stupid jokes they make about their wifes and I really don't get why they do that. I would stand behind my wife like a protector and would not dare speak wrongfully about her but most men just do this all the time. You deserve more respect! Everyone has it's faults but talking about it for hours seems like torture to me. It would make me go crazy.

In my personal life I don't trust anyone who has power over me. I have had so many teachers or other authority figures stab me in the back or use me that I just don't trust them at all anymore. I see everyone as equal and only the ones that are nice to me can have power over me. But that's just me

Wow! Wait a minute now. How do you mean involuntary? Do you mean he raped you? I have the shivers on my spine right now and I feel my back on fire from anger. That would be horrible. I really hope you meant something else.

Edit: You can go to my profile and click on pm. Then you can send me a message. I can also send you a message if you want.

They do this to disguise their underlying motive of hostility. A lot of "teasing" is simply hostile, hateful behaviour in the disguise of humour.

Saphie:

What Protector said. If it was involuntary sex, it was rape. It's wrong, you don't have to and shouldn't put up with it. Especially if he's now trying to slut-shame you over it, if you resisted and he forced you. Wrong, evil, and illegal. There should be consequences for him--and I'm talking the full penalty of law--not for you.

yeah, rape culture and date-rape is definitely a topic for another thread, as it's far more serious than mere teasing. If a veteran or mod would please direct this iggerent noob (I'm speaking of myself here) to the right forum for date rape and rape culture, that'd be good. Or this part of the discussion could go to pm and the thread could return to a more innocent discussion of teasing.

My skin is no longer thick enough for teasing. It used to be. But I have too much weight of words telling me what's wrong with me overbalancing the words telling me what's good and okay about me right now. Teasing never comes across as bullying if you truly feel loved, respected, accepted and understood. But if you feel despised, broken, warped and twisted, harsh criticism is all you hear, no matter how light-hearted the teasing was intended to be. When I was tiny I would whine when my big brothers teased me. In school, especially middle school, I did my best to ignore it. As an adult, I'd try to join in, but often get burned (as I mentioned above). It would always be the wrong place, the wrong time, or I'd teased on an inappropriate topic, or I teased someone overly sensitive or not comfortable enough with me, personally, to be teased by me. It could be a person I'd seen playfully teasing by/with someone else, but if I tried to tease them they responded as if to a vile, slanderous insult.

I don't understand teasing. I wish I could relax and do it, but I'm much too serious.

I don't understand teasing as well. Way to sensitive for it.

I also notice that some people can tease and it just feels okay and then some come along and everyone gets mad. People never get mad when I joke but they know how I think about things and know that I don't mean it in a harmful way but if someone else tries it they don't accept it. But I never joke in hurtful ways and if I joke I mostly joke about my own flaws.

Over the years I've been teased quite a bit for my "weirdness"

Here's a strategy that works for me:

Whatever they say say, reply with a version of: "You'll get over it."

E.g. "You're a freak."
"You'll get over it."

or if you're feeling more generous: "I know it's difficult for you, but you'll learn to live with it."

This puts the responsibility back on them and sometimes confuses them just enough for you to make a graceful (or in my case #awkward) escape.

When I get teased I usually just smile at the person that's doing it and don't say anything to them. I can't always tell what their motives are, but if I smile it might diffuse any bad intentions. It doesn't bother me if I see them do it to others and know that they are not intending to hurt me by it.

Yeah it is true. I've rarely seen neurotypical people be bullied, because they're usually the ones bullying the autistic people.

I know that totally, and it is probably caused by literacy. Everything is being taken literal and absolutely serious.
Man, I´ve felt ridiculed by simple jokes, because I took them seriously.

I know that totally, and it is probably caused by literacy. Everything is being taken literal and absolutely serious.
Man, I´ve felt ridiculed by simple jokes, because I took them seriously.

If its in good humour I don't mind so much, since its never good to take oneself too seriously. But it does really bother me if people are doing it to be mean, and sometimes its hard to tell how they mean it so I still may take it wrong if it's in good humour.....which them sometimes offends the other person because they're mad you think they would intentionally be mean to you...like my brother and I have had arguments about that, but then sometimes he thinks I am trying to make him feel bad via passive aggressiveness when I am not.

But yeah also if I am already upset, or have been dealing with people giving me a lot of crap or overwhelemed/stress...then even if someones just joking it might still piss me off because I've already had enough to deal with. Also certain things however its met seem to make me go off the deep end not sure if that's more the autism or PTSD....I really don't like when that happens, as I am worried I might eventually get in trouble for aggravated assault or something if I end up punching someone in the face or something, so far I have been able to hold back.