I have a hard time getting along with aspies.

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Hello! Not a bash thread by any means. I'm diagnosed with schizophrenia with myself, and am just wondering why i can't seem to get along with people who have aspergers. It's less pronounced in other autism spectrum disorders.

So, here's the thing: Over extended periods of time (living together, going to school, etc), my relationships with aspie individuals have a tendency to end up in strong mutual hatred, or at the very least dislike. I've been described as manipulative, cruel and self-serving, though i don't feel like i've been any of those things - rather i've been trying to be social and polite in spite of my own problems. I have a hard time tuning out what other people are saying to me, and i'm always polite to a fault. Don't know how to say no and that sorta thing, and i often find myself thinking aspies (the ones i've met) are egocentric and boisterous. Probably a communication error somewhere, but i can't seem to pinpoint it.

This happened between me and two different housemates, as well as one guy from college. They all initially liked me a lot, but over time they wanted more time and attention than i was willing/able to give, and i guess after a while they felt betrayed.
I think my youngest brother might be an aspie too, so i don't want that happening with him.

I also feel like just shutting down anyone with asperger's, simply because they have aspergers, is kind of a copout - so if anyone has an idea what went wrong or need more info, please let me know.

Sounds about right actually. There are reasons why we are not very high on most peoples friendship list, and you just described some of those reasons pritty well. Most people on here wonder why they don't have any friends. These are some of those things they do not understand. Thank you for pointing them out.

This is true from my understanding as well. I've been told that I come across as thinking that I am smarter than others and honestly do think that way some of the time but try not to show it. I've also been told by someone close to me that on occasion am not bring a good friend to others. It's something that I try to work on but it is very difficult and exhausting.

Sometimes, people just wanna be victims / are just feeling sorry for themselves---- they want to whine, and try to get attention----they say/feel things like: "Why don't you help me", "Why is it I have to suffer", "You're not considering MY feelings"----and, they like to blame whatever bad day they're having on the person that's closest in proximity (a room-mate). If there have been times when you just really needed to attend to YOURSELF, for a moment----after being so kind and caring----they'll immediately throw it in your face that you're being selfish, etc. It's quite possible you've been TOO attentive, and spoiled them, and they're behaving like spoiled-rotten children!!

I am autistic and I don't get along with most people regardless of their dx or lack there of. I mostly just want to be left alone. But I need to stay employed so "anthropology" is one of my hobbies

I don?t think I am egoistic or selfish any more than any average person, but I have tremendous trouble in reflecting outside what I have inside. Like if I see someone smiling nicely to me, I can?t get my face to react socially. What happens to a typical person is that their body automatically reacts to that smile without them even thinking about it. My automatic reaction on the other hand turns the gaze away to avoid eye contact and my face stays blank and expressionless ? no matter the emotions I have inside. I have a constant conscious battle going on against my own bodily reactions. I am swimming upstream all the time and sometimes the judgment of others seems too harsh and unjustified, especially when based on my solitary confinement I know that none can see what you truly have inside.

I feel imprisoned, because I can?t react and after that split second it?s already too late. The person I?ve encountered has already sealed my faith: I am egoistic, rude and not wanting to have anything to do with anyone. I can?t get that social language out of me, but the lack of that language doesn?t still reflect what I have inside. I also feel tremendous guilt of not being able to react, because to some extent I know the ways in which you are supposed to react. I?d want to smile, answer back, approach, greet and so on, but I f*king can?t. Then you go home crying, because you think the person feels bad, because you didn?t answer or that he or she is thinking that you are an as*hole for not smiling or greeting.

Also could it be that you too have a way of communicating that they can?t understand? Maybe they consider you manipulative, because of something you do. Why not to ask? Like I don?t get it when people for example say ?let?s see? and actually mean ?I am not coming with you, I just don?t have the guts to say it and as I want to keep my positive self-image, I say it this way? and there I am waiting to the last minute for that call after they?ve ?seen? what to them was obvious already in the moment of answering.

I don't know how I get along with other aspies as I have never knowingly known any, but I do sometimes get annoyed at people that show similar traits. A certain type of person who talks too loudly, too much, too weirdly without awareness. I think it is a bit of projection on my part, I know I can be like that too, and I've death with it by becoming super anxious and trying to stick to all these rules I impose on myself and get annoyed when others don't. That was before I actually knew what I had and how it is for others, I hope I am more tolerant now.