No Personality Of My Own

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Hi I'm not really sure where this post belongs, so apologies if it is in the the wrong section...

One of the things that has been noted about my condition is that I seem to have no personality of my own.
I copy other people a lot and so my "personality" is a patchwork of the behaviors of others I have witnessed. But on the face of it I don't seem to have an identity personal to myself.

Does this make sense? Has anyone here experienced the same feeling and taken any steps towards becoming "individual" .. ?

Cheers.
lynysys

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I am suspected/undiagnosed ASD or PDD/NOS.

Sounds familiar. Maybe have a look at this http://bpd.about.com/od/understandingbpd/a/whoami.htm or read about sense of self.

I have not had these struggles as someone with autism so cannot comment on my own personal experience.

I'm the same way. I subconsciously 'steal' traits from fictional characters, and I feel as if I have no personality of my own.

I feel the same way. I start picking up the movements, tone of voice, word choice, expressions, and cadence of people I talk to or interact with a lot. I only really feel like "myself" (or whatever that is) when I'm alone or writing, where I feel like my words can get through without any of the "extras" of face-to-face interaction which usually obscure what might be my essential self. I think my personality, if I have one, is this sort of expressionless, thoughtful, and quiet person - which people don't like or are turned off by - which prompts me to imitating them and they feel more comfortable by that. It's pretty stupid that I feel like I have to copy people in order to make them feel more secure about themselves.

I'm trying to not mimic so much now, though it will lose me social points but it makes me feel more comfortable, calm, and not so exhausted. I also feel kind of sick with myself after realizing how much I pander to other people's personalities, like I'm artificial.

I only realised that I had been using a combination of personality traits, which weren't naturally mine, a few years ago. Since then I've examined each trait I've found and removed it - what remains is the most basic version of my personality but at least it's me and not parts of anyone else.

I completely relate to this and feel the same way! I feel like I know who I am, deep down, but when I am interacting with people I don't seem to have my own personality. Or at least I do, but like you say, it's a big collage of several people I've met and been around in my life. Because being an Aspie, and having such a hard time in the social world, I've picked up traits and phrases from people to help me cope in social situations.
I used to look at it like exactly how it seemed, being a social cameleon. But I now I look at it like I'm building my own personality. I'm taking things that I like from each person that I interact with and adding it to myself. To be honest with you, I've learned that many people do this. And being around certain people for a long time, you tend to pick up their traits. People even copy me sometimes! So learning that it is somewhat normal makes me feel a little better

On a basic level, I think we are discussing the old "nature vs nurture" debate. The question being, are we born a certain way, or are we made what we are by our environment?

Our personalities and worldviews are undoubtedly influenced by the people around us heavily. Our language, accent, moral and social values are all given to us by the people we grow up with.

Also, all people continuously pick up nuances of verbal and nonverbal communication from other people, including phrases and jokes, and incorporate them into their own personal way of communicating. It's not just aspies. We are probably just more consciousness of the process given our relatively limited social interaction, which makes us think it is something only we do.

Growing up isolated because of aspergers syndrome, I often feel missing out on social interaction prevented me from developing a personality. However, I think we all have innate personalities that transcend what can be pinned down in terms of language or culture. Things like language or culture simply give us a means of communicating our personalities to others. Being unable to communicate our personalities to other people probably makes many of us believe we don't have personalities,

I used to have this problem - Twice in my life I found myself trying so hard to fit in, to do what people wanted me to do that I pretty much lost any sense of self. I ended up emotionally and mentally in a very bad place and both times needed counselling to get myself out of it. It was not a good time at all for me, and I don't want to end up there ever again.

It's tough doing the aspie thing in the real world - balancing a 'persona' that is appealing to the general masses while being OK with being apsie and 'letting it all hang out' to some extent. I just wish I could live in a world where I could just be myself all the time - but I can't - not if I want to keep a job, etc.

It's kinds like having to carry two invisible suitcases around all the time. It's always work always having to carry the damn things and rarely put them down. I guess I have to make sure I only pack what I need in them and not the kitchen sink.

I saw the movie "Malificent" on the weekend and not only did I enjoy it tremendously, I could very much relate to it. I belong in the 'Moors', not in the 'Kingdom' where I seem to always be.

"Zelig" is a funny movie which addresses this.

Peter Brady also went through this--right before his voice changed.

I used to have this problem. It started in my early to mid teens. At best it just felt like I was boring to my peers; at worst it felt like I was a ghost; invisible. I did try to cover up my lack of a sense of self, but it wasn't successful.

I suppose one of the few good things about growing older and going through a load of crap is that you stop caring about what other people think. I'm still as bad as talking to other people as ever; I just don't have the energy or inclination to care about it much. Also when I was a teen, I didn't have the internet. I've met a few people online who have accepted me as I am, innumerous warts and all. That has helped.

Still feel uncomfortable in a new place though. Like here... ¬_¬

I definitely understand you. I actually often think about this because I 'steal' pretty much everything. Every though, word, expression, movement, they're not my own. I don't even know what it means to be myself unless I'm in a completely new situation with new people, then I'm quiet until I can not be myself.