My Son's Behavior is Infuriating, and Embarrasing

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Another idea for the pinching. Get him some stuff he can pinch and squeeze that's a similar texture to you(!) and direct him to that. I'm thinking plasticine or some kind of squidgy toy. They sell lots of them in the pound shops in the uk - squishy caterpillar things and balls.

I LOVE my squishy caterpillar. I got it for a dollar at the Autism Expo fair last April. It feels so good to pinch and squish it. I play with it while I lay in bed at night.

In other words....your kid isn't as bad as you thought, right? LOL

Your boy sounds very bright. You might try giving him a vacuum cleaner of his own, a cheap or used one, that he can take apart and put back together to his heart's content.

Your boy sounds very bright and seems to be developing nicely.

I would shriek too.

Hi. Can I suggest something?

It sounds like he's autistic and doing well. The person here with the problem is you, not him, and it seems you kind of get that. But if you're easily embarrassed, and inclined to sort of grab a kid and make him stop doing embarrassing things or shove him out of view to stop looking different and attracting attention, this is something you'll really have to work on, because otherwise it'll wind up making the whole family crazy. Because oh boy, is he going to stick out. Forever, more than likely. And it will be deeply hurtful to say things like "can't you be autistic in a more normal way" -- in other words, be someone else, because I, your father, can't accept who you are.

I'm sure that with kids and work you're super-busy, but this is exactly the sort of problem that therapy is very good for -- finding out why it embarrasses you so and what you can do so that you don't feel so embarrassed.

You may also be underestimating how understanding other parents and kids are. Autism is fairly common now. There was a kid in the store around your son's age last night, shrieking and squealing, and while yeah, it's a little much on the ears, he was obviously autistic and his dad was obviously loving towards him. And had a real challenge getting the shopping done.

They're fab aren't they! I'm also quite a fan of a squishy water-filled snake my son has with little balls floating in it.

Nice. I think I would really like that too.

My sister who does not have autism when she was about that age would go to the foot of my parents bed every morning and say 'bottle juice' in a monotone voice till they woke up, not really sure why she wanted a baby bottle of juice every morning but whatever, point is normal kids do random things that might seem a little weird/abnormal to...I think its not uncommon for people with autistic kids to be on over alert for any slightly 'abnormal' behavior and might mistake normal being a little kid type stuff for some symptom needing correcting before it gets worse. Thing is its better on focusing on the positive traits and things the child can do, and cope with the fact they aren't going to turn normal but it doesn't mean all hope is lost. And who really defines normal anyways....most people actually do not fit what most people statistically picture as 'normal' according to a statistic study I looked at a couple years ago for a college sociology class.

I agree with this. My nt dd would not leave the house without 2 tablespoons, one in each hand, for a period. I wouldn't mind but she would always put one or both down somewhere. I was forever having to buy new ones.

At this age for any kid, redirect the behavior that is disruptive. But the squealing is mostly the age. Be happy he is happy. He won't always be this way. My daughter was like this but not now at 12. I did not take her shopping most of the time but it was not that I was embarrassed but removed her because it was inappropriate behavior for the location.

I lot more speech than my kids that this age. Daughter was mainstreamed after kindergarten and son was mainstreamed kindergarten with no special ed, only ST, OT.

It is the age. My kids did this and outgrew it. They don't do it anymore. Just deal with it now. Redirect when you can.

I loved the water, as a kid. It's very calming. Especially when my ears go under water, and the world goes completely silent. I think the ocean, and swimming, really helped me. Sometimes it was the only thing I truly enjoyed doing. Maybe find a time when the pool is less crowded. Or invite other parents, from your son's school, to go with you. Then you can all feel equally embarrassed, while all your ASD children annoy people who shouldn't care about happy sounds.

Another idea is a snorkel, with a mask, if they allow it at the pool. He might really enjoy being totally in his own world, under the water. And if he likes the snorkel, he might never take it out of his mouth. I used to wear mine around the house, especially when I wanted to go swimming. Just be careful, or swim with him, while he learns how a snorkel works (he might even be too young). Try it in the bath first.

Taking stuff apart, and exploring in nature, were my favorite things to do. Learn to teach through the things he enjoys doing. It's almost pointless to punish the undesirable behavior, all you can do is redirect that energy onto another activity. If he's good at app games, try some more difficult ones. Maybe find an app that promotes speaking to the phone, and find an instant reward (like sweets) when he speaks correctly.

Beautiful thinking.

Taking apart is easy. Putting it back together (and having it work) is the tricky part.

Honestly, I think you should take a page from my parent's generation. Before they knew about AS and other stuff, kids who were "disruptive" were simply kept away from most social situations. You don't bring a crying baby into a fine dining establishment because it is inconsiderate of all the other people paying good money to enjoy a nice dinner. My parents didn't enjoy a lot of stuff until both my sister and I could control our behavior enough to be in "polite company" for an extended period of time.

Some places won't be right for you or your son until such time as he develops enough to fit in better. Focus on toys that are quiet but keep him engaged. If he does stuff that is annoying (mostly because of noise), find alternative things he can fiddle with that don't wear on your nerves as much. Discipline him to play with those things other than the ones that are troubling. It might also be worth it to let him play in a room with more "soundproofing" so that you don't have to hear the full volume of what's going on (for your sanity).