Looks like I'm getting kicked out...

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Same as... mine looks like it?s held together with superglue and sticky tape

I didn't exactly want to get a car but they aren't going to give me rides or let me use or have on of theirs. My work would be too far to walk or ride a bike so unfortunately I will have to get a car. But at least I know a good place to get reliable used cars. If I wait another week or two there should be a good selection, and by then I should have around 2000 saved (unfortunately most of it will probably be used paying for the car).

Don't they have buses? That money could be used to pay the bond. Also the cost of moving into an unfurnished apartment is significant. And it's the little things too, as I learned the hard way one time when, with a bare kitchen I could only cook pot noodles (given to me by a friend because I was broke), had to drink them out of the cup and my only drinking vessel was a jar that had been used to store batteries. That was how I lived about five weeks ago. And since I didn't have the internet connected yet I ran up a huge mobile bill.

Then again if you can't find an apartment straight away you won't need bond straight away so it might not make much difference. Anyway I must congratulate you on your frugality, when I was your age I couldn't save without blowing it on video games (or have a licence yet).

To my knowledge there are no buses. But luckily most of the apartments I have been looking at do at least have a bed and a table and such, so thankfully I don't think I'll have to worry about that at least.

Though cookware could be a problem, I hadn't even thought of that. I had the same problem living in the dorms at university, I had no pots, pans or silverware. Coming back from winter break, I was walking home to my dorm from the train station, and I ended up getting very lost. I somehow ended up wandering next to a train track in the dark with tall fences on both sides, then having to throw my bags over the fence and then climb over it myself, and then climb up a hill of gravel to a highway which I followed back to town (I really don't know how I manage to get so lost sometimes). At that point I was freezing and still probably still over an hour walk from the dorm. Thankfully some girls, probably in their 20's, were driving by and saw me. They must have felt bad because the stopped and said they'd give me a ride. For some reason along the way I mentioned how I didn't have food or silverware. I told them I'd be fine til the next day, but after dropping me off they came back and gave me a whole pizza, soda and a small set of silverware. That was really nice of them, so then I had silverware, and luckily my roommates were ok with me using their pots and such, so I ended up being ok in that regard for the rest of my time there.

But I don't think I'll be so lucky on my own, so I should probably look into that soon before I end up having no money. Thank you for reminding me about that, I probably would have been all moved in somewhere only to realize I had nothing to make or eat my food with. I had to do the same thing at university, drinking noodles out of a cup and using the closest thing to a cup I could find for drinking.

And thank you for the compliment, but to be honest, if I had truly been saving everything I'd probably have a lot more by now. I buy a lot of things that I don't need, like games, books, electronics etc. I bought a new laptop, which was one of the cheaper ones, but I didn't really need it, I just hate the old Macbook I have and this new one plays games a lot better. I usually only buy stuff that I will end up using, but that doesn't mean I really need it. It's hard not to when I don't need the money for anything else that is immediate, as I can't seem to get it to register in my head how much use it will be to me in the future if I just save it.

Identify and locate all food pantries and churches that serve meals and allow overnight stays

Above all, don't be ashamed to ask for help. Food pantries and churches can connect you to any other services or forms of assistance you are elilgible for.

Not to be a downer, but all that freedom comes at a steep price. Paying rent and living on your own is no joke. First of all, to even get an apartment you need to have a security deposit saved up, usually first and last month's rent, to put down when you sign the lease. They also run your credit history to make sure you have a history of on time payments. Bad or no credit can make it difficult to rent. They also want to see pay stubs to ensure your job is enough to cover rent. You'll also need references that they'll check to make sure you're a good tenant before renting to you. Not only that, but you want to check the place in and out to make sure it's not bug infested and such and get a sense of the neighbors and neighborhood. Really, renting is a big dance that you'll really need assistance with by others that've been experienced it, which is why it's not surprising that so many Aspies have difficulty living on their own. Believe me, my family is very similar to yours and my mom didn't even know about the deposit because she'd never rented before. It's really a shame that people would put such a huge burden on you. Really, there is a very intense social aspect to living on one's own and it's not fair to force that on us Aspies :/. Plus, you lose your job, fall behind on payments, you can be evicted and that's a really serious legal matter you don't want to be involved in

What Obstinate said matches with my experience. I got confused a few times during the application process (this wasn't my first attempt, other attempts failed due to confusion). They'd ask me for things I didn't have, like pay slips from the last 30 days (I threw mine out). Suffice to say, I improvised. I cut a few corners here and there. It probably helped that I was the only applicant for the apartment. Sometimes there will be many applicants for one apartment, especially in cities with housing shortages.

They may expect perfection from you when the apartment isn't perfect (damaged) and their service isn't perfect (they still haven't fixed the heat and it's winter here). If they ask for references be creative. I used a priest for one of them. And there's nothing wrong with spending a little money yourself when you can. If we only had what we need to live, it wouldn't really be living. Anyway I'd do anything to avoid using a Macintosh. Just a pet peeve of mine.

Ok so I do have one more option. I can stay with my sister, she has an extra room in her apartment. only problem is she lives 2000 miles away. my only option if I wanted to bring all my stuff (which I do) would be to get a car and drive all the way there. But rent would be a lot less and I'd be with family. I would give up this job which I make pretty good money with, but I figure that the difference in rent would make up for that anyway. I just don't know how to bring this up to my grandparents because I know they'd start thinking I'm trying to take the easy way out (which isn't really true because I'd have to find a whole new job). Plus they don't particularly like my mom's side of the family and I'd be very near to them. I know I can make my own choices but I don't like conflict so I don't want to cause am argument because I'm not following their advice exactly.

...hm...

I (sort of) convinced my grandpa to let me stay longer. I told him that way I'd have better options with cars and being able to find an apartment would be easier. He seemed to be ok with it as long as I do things like keep my room clean and wake up to my alarm, but he still wants me to be getting out on my own at some point. Luckily, when I was at a used car place, I found a nice affordable car which I will probably get, and on top of that the salesman said he knew of some apartments that were open in the complex he lives in, even the 2 bedroom ones were only 450 a month, the one I need would be less. When I go in to get the car he said he could give me the info. So if that all works out I may be just fine, at least as far as the car and place to stay goes.

Get a crockpot (slow cooker).
Simple ones are often very inexpensive and work great. It's almost impossible to burn food in them. There are lots of simple recipes on the web that use inexpensive ingredients; but, taste delicious. You add the raw ingredients in the morning, turn it on and by evening (without you're having to do anything else) you have a delicious dinner waiting for you. I often use it to make a big batch of food on the weekend (pot roast, stew, chicken, casserole, chili?), put it in the refrigerator and eat it during the week.

Get a rice cooker.
They are very simple to use, inexpensive and if you follow the simple directions the rice always comes out perfect. Like the crock pot, once you've added the ingredients you turn it on and it takes care of itself (even shuts itself off when the rice is done).

When I was starting out on my own, I would probably starved to death if I hadn't had a crockpot and a rice cooker.

*Rice cooker is good for steaming vegitabes too

Last edited by Ron5442 on 28 Aug 2014, 12:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's a really good idea, I hadn't thought of that. Thank you!

Hey man,

I think your grandpa is right. You have to get up on your own. Just keep your room clean. At least he's not having you scrub the outhouse or something! People like your grandpa think 18-year-olds should be pretty responsible; he comes from the "old school." They don't know Asperger's from as*holes.

I don't mean to be a pain in the butt: but he's not really demanding that much of you. And you could save some bucks while you're staying there. There's no shame in people not being out on their own while they're going to college. There's not that much shame, even, if a person's 25 and still living at home.

You could get a pretty good car for $2,000. Do you know a mechanic--or are you good with cars yourself? Bring a mechanic to the lot, so he/she could have a look at the car. At $2,000, there's no warranty on any cars, except for, perhaps, a 2-month "lemon law" warranty (like we have in NY State).

Carfax might be a good investment, too, if you could afford it. Just get the VIN number. It's usually located either by the windshield, or on the car door. There might be a registration sticker on the car. The VIN is located there. It's a number with lots of numbers and letters. It almost always starts with a number.

If the dealer refuses to give you the VIN number, you know he's a ripoff.

Sounds interesting. I might try those myself. Are they better than cooking on the stove? I'll ask my Mum about crock pot cooking since she uses one sometimes. The rice cooker sounds good too, just so long as I don't end up unleashing King Piccolo. Can you use the rice cooker for pasta?

I'm ok with getting up on my own and keeping my room clean; it's not that I don't want to do those things, for some reason I just have a hard time doing them. I'm trying harder and trying to get more organized so hopefully I can get that all straightened out. But they've pretty much already made their decision as far as me leaving. As soon as I've paid off the car and found an apartment I have to leave.

The most they know about Asperger's is that it is relatively mild compared to classic autism, and they know maybe 1 or 2 people who know someone who has Asperger's and they are apparently just fine. What I don't think they are considering is that they are comparing me to people who have known for quite a while what their problem was because they had a diagnosis as a child or in their early teens, and probably had help for it, and also are older than me. Me, I've never had any sort of diagnosis until very recently, and I'm still waiting for the OFFICIAL official diagnosis. What I have now is more of a provisional diagnosis because I didn't have the full evaluation yet (though I am still certain I have it, and the psychologist was certain enough to give me some paperwork to allow for school and workplace accommodations). On top of that, they are comparing me to people who have classic autism, like the person across the street, who is 29 and lives with his mom still because he isn't functional enough to be on his own. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but they use it as an example of basically how much more functional I am by comparison which I don't think is totally fair, because I'm still a lot more immature than most people my age and still have difficulties with even basic things like hygiene and remembering to eat so I don't lose weight. Basically they expect that I should be able to totally overcome it to the point that it's like I don't even have it anymore, or at least that's the impression I get. That's why I was kind of eager to get out on my own anyway, because I feel like I can do better when I don't feel so judged all the time.



I actually already got a car, with a half-down payment and no-interest financing, the total payment is around $4500. I was planning on taking it to my mechanic as soon as possible, and if there is anything major wrong with it they told me I could bring it back and they'd get it fixed for a lowered price. Admittedly I probably should have requested to take it to the mechanic BEFORE buying it, as in that case I wouldn't even be committing to pay that "low price" they were talking about in the event of a major breakdown, but I just really wanted to find something soon. I did have a good look at it and searched "problems with _____(make and model)" and couldn't find anything really that was wrong with it. I have a coworker who is very good with cars too, I'm going to have him look at it tomorrow. There are a couple things, like the oil and filters need to be changed and one of the power windows in the back doesn't work, but the those things shouldn't be too costly and I don't really need that window to be working. It's a well-built model so I think it should be just fine (hopefully).

Last edited by L_Holmes on 28 Aug 2014, 11:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wish you luck. If you need support during your transition, we at WP are here.