Does everyone deny you have a condidtion

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I am in the process of getting a diagnosis right now. My family, and friend, (singular on purpose) tell me that I do not have a condition and I just need to get out more. They say I am grieving over the loss of a GF and that I am just going through a phase.

I am appalled that they said this. I have been having panic attacks, rage fits and freeze ups with people ever since I can remember. My father thinks I am this well to do mentally stable son when I don't complain about what is bothering me. My ex GF pointed out what was wrong with me and she has AS. Her own doctor says that I may have AS.

I do not like it when supposed loved ones deny that I might have a condition and try to diagnose me with. "its just a phase" or "forget about it" or "Move on" They would also say, if you see some one to give you a diagnosis, they will find something wrong with you no matter what. I see this pattern of how I behave and how people treat me. Something has to be done or I'll end up a lonely old man or a soon to be dead one.

Does it feel like they are telling you that you are not telling the truth?

I have had people argue with me about what I think, feel, and experience as well, especially some relatives. I think some of them have a need to make everything rosy and positive and "okay". I think it may be overwhelming for them, especially for parents to think that there might be something "wrong" or "abnormal" about their baby. And your friend could feel that way too because it might make him or her feel insecure or threatened. There is not a whole lot you can do about it. I have just come to the conclusion that I can't mention my Aspieness to certain people and when we talk we just have to talk about other things.

You are 36. You are old enough to get your own diagnosis without anyone else's opinion or permission. As long as you can afford it just get it if it will be beneficial to you and try not to give a rat's behind about what anyone else thinks. Once you have the document you will know for sure and that will help your own peace of mind and the rest of the people can think whatever they like. But as long as you are at peace with yourself and you can take responsibility to get whatever help you need, the rest of them can stick their opinions up where the sun don't shine.

People don't deny that I'm weird/crazy/etc.

My mother believes I have a "touch" of Asperger's, and that I'm "not" autistic.

I don't really care what people think of ME. I don't advertise anyway. I'm a weirdo, I have no friends other than a few male acquaintances and my husband. It's fine. I'm pretty "lite" on the spectrum. It's cool, I get it.

But when people deny that my daughter has autism... it drives me batty. Abso figgin lutely batty. They talk to her for 5 minutes and determine we're all crazy. I just want to smack them and tell them that they don't hand out full time one on one aids in school for free. She got one, because she needs one. She needs one... because she's got autism. The same people who deny it (mostly family) are the same ones who get irritated when she won't have a conversation with them, talk to them on the phone, respond to a question, or show any interest in what they're interested in or in what they expect most 7 year old girls to be interested in. These people often show such low level observational skills that they ask stupid questions like "When did her hand writing get so bad?" "Why doesn't she have friends?" and my favorite "why is she hooting while spinning in circles and flapping her arms?"

DUH

Yeah, I KNOW!! ! It's so infuriating when people deny you have Asperger's and then complain about every Aspie trait and symptom you show and ask you what is wrong with you. UUUGGGHHH!! ! If people want to deny it for me I just say, "whatever" but if they start complaining about my symptoms and expect me to change, that is not fair. If they want to deny my Aspieness then they have to keep their mouths shut when it comes to things I can't help.

And when it's your little defenseless kid, man, I can only imagine how much Mama Bear wants to pull her claws out and growl. You really do want to slap them.

No, but I've had disagreements over past issues. Me and my mother do not see eye-to-eye on how my social life was when I was a child through middle school. She just remembers the fact that I had an okay amount of friends, but she does not listen when I talk about the issues I had within my friendships and some of the problems I had attempting to make friends. My mom has a real thing for assuming she knows how I feel better than I do... and then keeping those assumptions even when I correct her.

It is certainly frustrating when other's doubt you may have some type of HFA. It's as if the status quo will be maintained if you just accept their view/opinion of you instead of you searching for answers yourself. I also found out there was still animosity and disbelief of the diagnosis once I received it. Your parents receive as a slam since they are the ones who passed the genes to you and your siblings feel you should not accept the opinion of someone who has only known you a short time vs someone who has known you for years.

Sometimes people that like you don't want to believe there is something seriously wrong with you.
maybe because it "suggests" there's something wrong with them for liking you.
maybe because they don't want to have to "adapt" to differences after having learned "normal" people.
maybe because they're "voting" against "karma" that you're actually a good person. (vs. the Just-World hypothesis <link)
maybe because they don't want to "lose" you. (as if serious issues = dead)
maybe they're just trying to reassure you that you're an "OK" person.

In short, maybe they think they're being nice.
Don't take it personal, at least they're still talking to you, right? =)

My mum gives me tips for improving my social skills.
She has had feedback from family friends about how much I've improved.
I can ask her to repeat the same sentence three times in a row, because although I heard her, I didn't hear the actual words and I will explain this and that's okay.
She tells me to stop certain stims (like leg tapping) because they annoy/distract her.

She denies I can be autistic/on the spectrum, though.

I think it's because we know several autistic people, including her best friend's two kids, my cousin's friend and siblings, and when I was young one of her workmates had a son who would have been labelled "low functioning". I think because I already have epilepsy, she just doesn't want me to have any more problems and doesn't see that recognising it would allow me to get help.

My sister thinks I have it, though, which is nice.

My family's reaction to my claims if Aspieness range from mostly dismissive to annoyance with my "autism obsession." We did kind of go through a roller coaster ride of emotions when it came to getting the local school system to acknowledge that my niece was autistic (Even after being officially diagnosed by a behavioral specialist, if you can believe that) so maybe they still have some trepidation in 'lumping me into the same category.'

I will say that recently my family has come to accept that my issues, whether from AS or not, are real and debilitating. It's taken over ten years and three trips to the adult psych ward, but we're all starting to accept that I have legitimate difficulties that prevent me from functioning as a 'normal' member of society.

I find it frankly absurd that people question it (but I agree - they do).

If you tell people you have a raging headache, even though they cannot see it, they might tell you to go lie down, or offer you pain killers. They'll sympathise with your invisible symptoms. No-one says: "Of course you haven't - you're imagining it, or you've read about headaches on the internet and are relying on Dr Google..."

Yet say you have Aspergers or any other invisible spectrum disorder, and suddenly people feel they have a right to question and doubt. It's partly from denial and a bit of fear (no-one wants to face up to 'mental' issues or relatives/friends) and not wanting this 'thing' anywhere near them. A formal diagnosis helps (it seems the people who apparently know you better than YOU do don't actually know better than an autism specialist yet...), but it is horrible how people question and give you THAT look of doubt vs avoidance.

I told my friend i had Aspergers about 3-4 years ago and she didn't believe I did.

Then 6 months ago she says she thinks I and her other friend have Aspergers, she completely forgot the conversation we had when I told her I had aspergers...

My mother knew I was autistic before I did, and after she told me, the rest of the family pretty much fell into line and agreed with her, including my dad, which was a surprise because he hates labels. I only ever had one friend not agree with me that I had it (before I was diagnosed). He agreed there was something different about me, but thought it was just high sensitivity because I didn't have any signs that he ever saw of being averse to physical contact. He thought that was a non-negotiable requirement of being on the spectrum, and I didn't have the energy to correct him. When I told my only other friend though, she believed me, though it's not something we discuss frequently.

I've had doctors diagnose me, yet I tend to wonder about the intricate aspects of such a diagnosis. I am so exceptionally high functioning that I wonder if it even really exists in me. For all doctors are capable of malpractice, intentional or not. In my scholarly years, I was already on medicine before really starting because I was slightly different from most children. The teachers labeled me hyperactive, yet then again most normals can be this as well. They demanded to my parents that I be seen by a psychiatrist or headshrink and be put on medicine to better calm me for their lackluster teaching benefit. In conclusion, I find myself almost viciously if not bitterly wondering if the better part of my life has been a well shrouded lie that even my parents were deceived into believing.

It would be especially and inhumanly cruel if it were, as I was handed and forced to take medicines during my scholarly run from Kindergarten until a few years after my high school graduation. Several of which might well have caused lifelong nerve damage or the beginnings of nerve deadening, amongst a few horrific things that such chemical pollutant pills can do and I was given a slew of them like a lab rat which is force fed chemicals in his cage during such a time. Nothing more than a lab rat and raw unsuitable clay to be formed according to the cookie cutter conformist design. How insulting to such a free thinker as myself.