New NT needing help! understanding Aspergers boyfriend

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Kurushimi
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10 Nov 2014, 11:13 am

I am an NT with an Aspie boyfriend. There are many hurdles that we have had to overcome, but he would never cheat on me like that. I have PTSD, and he gets frustrated when I get triggered, but he separates himself from the situation and makes a genuine effort to understand me because he loves me. It must be really difficult to be in your situation. But, my advice would be if the relationship is more hurtful to you than enjoyable then you should leave it. I don't think that Asperger's is a free ticket to be an as*hole. Fortunately in my situation, we are both willing to make accommodations for the other person as needed. But in a relationship where only 1 person is willing to do that, it cannot work. Feel free to message me if you would like to discuss things more in depth. I know it is really hard at times, but if he is the right one, than he will be willing to address your needs as well. If he is able to hold down a position like he has, I am guessing that he is more aware of human dynamics than not. Good luck. I hope that he can realize that he has someone who is willing to go the extra length to understand him.

My boyfriend is diagnosed, if that makes any difference.


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auntblabby
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10 Nov 2014, 7:37 pm

or cut her losses and try again with somebody else more suitable.



Waterfalls
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10 Nov 2014, 8:42 pm

People try hard sometimes when they meet someone to make them happy. And sometimes as time goes on, they stop trying so hard. That's not restricted to any neurotype just look at divorce statistics. He may have loved you but once upon a time he tried harder to make you happy than he does now. He could have Aspergers for all I know. But a partner who stops trying to make you happy is just that: a partner who stopped caring to really try to make you happy.