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Piers
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12 Nov 2014, 5:31 pm

From childhood I've observed people to see how they react in every situation I can think of. I've watched for facial signs of emotion and 'give aways' that a person may not be telling the truth or faking their emotional response - I just assumed this was normal. However, recently I've been giving it more thought, as I've been made aware that I am apparently 'a good judge of character'. Have most of us learnt by observation what other people, neurotypical people, know instinctively from birth?


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Waterfalls
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12 Nov 2014, 6:57 pm

Probably a lot of us



progaspie
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12 Nov 2014, 7:39 pm

Well, I would say that while instinct is natural and gets there quicker, the problem is that it clouds judgement of one's character, while observation is superior because it gets to the truth of one's character (eventually).



unit_00
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12 Nov 2014, 9:18 pm

i observed, always have. but for me it's more, observing and remembering the words they use in certain situations. i'm too overwhelmed to ever watch for facial signs and even if i saw them i don't think i would know what to do or what they mean. remembering what words they say has helped me fit in and seem more normal, but it has never helped me to be a good judge of character.

but yes, i think we would have to observe while NTs can translate it automatically. probably. i'm always amazed how natural and easy it is for them, i still don't really understand how they do it.



Graelwyn
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12 Nov 2014, 9:37 pm

I have learnt by observing and also by watching a lot of films and reading a lot of real life stories. It did not come naturally.


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13 Nov 2014, 11:19 am

Yes. I have trained myself over the course of many years to interact with NT people. I have read many books on sociology, psychology, relationships, communication, and especially, body language. None of it comes naturally to me, but I have found some success. I am married to a wonderful NT woman who says that she is very happy in our relationship. Even so, we still have communication problems. I probably miss more non-verbal signals than I catch, and I often misinterpret the ones I do catch.



russiank12
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14 Nov 2014, 1:08 pm

I have learned to interact with NTs by observing them and through movies. I used to look at gifs or short videos on Youtube of people for hours and copy their exact tone and face in the mirror. I think I've gotten pretty good at it, but it tires me out.