PDAs- Public Displays of Affection

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Joined: 22 Aug 2014
Age: 33
Gender: Female
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10 Dec 2014, 7:35 pm

I haven't really witnessed a scene of PDA that was disgusting or "intimate" enough to bother me. Usually someone putting their arm around the other. Kissing each other on the cheek or even the mouth but I've never really seen anyone tongue their partner in public.

I think if I saw some extreme displays, I'd be bothered.

virnal
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 16 Sep 2013
Age: 28
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10 Dec 2014, 7:46 pm

AlienorAspie wrote:

I've always been creeped out by public displays of affection, which i used to call "PDA"s- people kissing or touching each other too much. Bleuurrggh- just thinking/typing about it makes me shudder lol. I dont mind it so much on tv, except when someone touches skin lightly, but where am I supposed to look if they're right in front of me?

What do u think? Are they sweet or disgusting?

I am annoyed when I see it but I am usually able to ignore it and ultimately not let it affect me when I see it.

The main problem with me when it comes to PDA, is when I am involved. It seems the normal to kiss/hug/make-out in public. I cannot stand this and have had difficulty in relationships because of this. I am not comfortable doing this at all, I have felt very very uncomfortable with this in the past. Holding hands to me, is a compromise.

AlienorAspie
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10 Dec 2014, 7:53 pm

ahahaha too many funny ideas on how to deal with this. I'll find it hard not to try out the monologue one.

The other day I was sitting waiting in the car while my boyf paid for the petrol, and a couple walked from their car into the shop. The guy had his hand on the girls arse, then full-on "cupped" underneath for ages as they walked along :/ Thankfully I could pull a face as I was alone in the car and they couldn't see me.

Is this a feminist issue? Would guys be ok if a woman strongly "cupped" his balls from behind in public? :/

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kraftiekortie
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10 Dec 2014, 7:58 pm

Women frequently do that already. I've even seen a women pull a guy to her and start "humping" him.

When I was, say, 18, I might do that kind of stuff--but since then, I'm not one that really likes to "make love" in public.

1401b
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10 Dec 2014, 8:00 pm

AlienorAspie wrote:

Depends partly on if she's cute, but mostly on how strong her forearms are...
Most of us guys are used to women having us by the balls so we'd probably notice a breeze and get chilly if she wasn't...

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dianthus
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10 Dec 2014, 8:00 pm

There is only one occasion that stands out in my memory where it really bothered me. In high school there were two marching band members who used to make out on the bus on the way to/from away games. I liked them both and thought they made a nice couple. But the girl had horribly stinky breath, which I could not help noticing every time she spoke to me. And I do not meant regular stinky breath like when someone skips brushing their teeth once in awhile, but the kind that you feel like will knock you down when you smell it. To this day I think she is still in the top 3, or at least the most top 5 of most stinky breath I have ever encountered. Anyway when I saw this guy plunging his tongue inside her mouth, all I could think about was the way her breath smelled and it would just turn my stomach.

AlienorAspie
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Joined: 18 Mar 2014
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10 Dec 2014, 8:01 pm

virnal wrote:

Dont worry, its ok to tell them it really makes you uncomfortable. Let them know it actually turns you off! If they still do it they're not one for you anyway. I would dump someone who kept trying after you've told them- its sexual harassment, even if its just unwanted hugs.

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AlienorAspie
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10 Dec 2014, 8:03 pm

"lolling" so much. love this forum!

As I wrote this "God only knows what I'd be without you" started playing on the TV

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virnal
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10 Dec 2014, 8:12 pm

AlienorAspie wrote:

virnal wrote:

If only that worked! *sigh*. It is ultimately a reflex for nt's, I think. I think it's honestly difficult for them consciously not to

AlienorAspie
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10 Dec 2014, 8:23 pm

virnal wrote:

AlienorAspie wrote:

virnal wrote:

If only that worked! *sigh*. It is ultimately a reflex for nt's, I think. I think it's honestly difficult for them consciously not to

It's the bin for them then! They have to learn that no means no when it comes to physical contact, whether you've had sex before or not, you are not their play-thing! Don't think they can't control themselves- they will just get away with what they can if you let them. I wish I'd known this when I was younger- I definitely would kick off these days but I was too shy and just thought it was "normal" too.

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virnal
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10 Dec 2014, 8:35 pm

AlienorAspie wrote:

That's very kind. When it comes to that, I feel it comes more to reciprocating affection. I find it just difficult to date an NT. They require more then what we,(do not mean to speak for everyone), even feel comfortable giving. In the future, ideally, I would prefer an aspie like me. We are pretty difficult to find though.

nick007
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11 Dec 2014, 1:26 am

I love holding my girlfriend's hand in public & love being affectionate with her in general but I'm not comfortable doing more in public but I am anti-affectionate with everyone else.

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steve30
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11 Dec 2014, 6:16 am

Don't mind it myself. If I see two cute guys holding hands or kissing, I'm quite happy to have a look . Of course in those situations I do wish it were me getting said kiss .

agwood
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11 Dec 2014, 7:47 am

AlienorAspie wrote:

I'd walk up to the woman and ask for a kiss myself

SteelMaiden
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11 Dec 2014, 12:49 pm

I do not show affection to anyone and I don't get it either.

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Campin_Cat
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11 Dec 2014, 4:37 pm

I don't mind seeing a couple hold hands, or one giving the other a quick peck on the cheek or lips----but, I DON'T like seeing one person give another person a tonsillectomy in public!! Also, that one about cupping a woman's bottom, in public----if a man ever did that to me, he'd draw-back a stump!! !! !!

I've just always been very old-fashioned about that----I don't like to see it in a movie, on TV, or read about it, in a book, either.

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