Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Meow1971
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 210

17 May 2011, 1:54 pm

I hold on to grudges for years... not even willingly I think.

My question is, do others do this and if so what do you do to let it go?



Bloodheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,194
Location: Newcastle, England.

17 May 2011, 1:56 pm

I don't really hold grudges.

I don't do anything to let them go, I just don't hold onto them to begin with, I cannot be bothered to put in the energy to hold a grudge.


_________________
Bloodheart

Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.


LiendaBalla
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Oct 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,736

17 May 2011, 2:20 pm

Oh yes, I do hold grudges for years.



SammichEater
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,903

17 May 2011, 2:27 pm

Usually for a few days, but then I forget about it. Well not totally, I have plenty of people on my hit list, but I don't actively make an effort to hit people whose names are on the list.


_________________
Remember, all atrocities begin in a sensible place.


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,079
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

17 May 2011, 3:09 pm

I'll hold a grudge for a week and than I'll move on.


_________________
The Family Enigma


Jellybean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,795
Location: Bedford UK

17 May 2011, 3:14 pm

I used to hold on to them for years! These days, about a couple of days, then my anger fades.


_________________
I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite ;) )


puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

17 May 2011, 4:26 pm

Bloodheart wrote:
I don't really hold grudges.

I don't do anything to let them go, I just don't hold onto them to begin with, I cannot be bothered to put in the energy to hold a grudge.


Ditto.

I waste my time on all kinds of pointless obsessive/paranoid thinking, grudges are just too much effort on top of all that rubbish. :lol:


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.


SilverSolace
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 77

17 May 2011, 4:34 pm

I don't hold grudges in a typical way.
If someone does something to wrong me intentionally, then it's easy to forgive and forget, especially since these things are brought up and easy to rationalise.
However, say, if someone sits in my seat, even though it's definitely my seat, even though I am not necessarily angry at them (Because I know they do not have the intention of upsetting me, or at least I make that assumption), it's something that bothers me a little bit and makes me uncomfortable around them. Because it's not something that can be brought up and spoken of without them thinking of you as being too critical. Soooo it can never be rationalised, and I will enver know what they were thinking.



kepheru
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 218
Location: U.S.

17 May 2011, 4:58 pm

Sort of. I remember things that people have done to upset for years and years, but I don't really hold it against them. If I become upset I will suddenly remember all these "grudges" and hold it against people, but I still never actively bring them up, it all just stays in my thoughts.



evilduck
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 96

17 May 2011, 5:15 pm

Meow1971 wrote:
I hold on to grudges for years... not even willingly I think.

My question is, do others do this and if so what do you do to let it go?

I hold grudges like there's no tomorrow. Also, I don't do s**t to let it go. Let me tell you why.
The why is that I don't care. If people have wronged me, I se no reason to hold them near. Ever. No reason what so ever. This goes for as close family as my mother and father as well. I know this by experience. i will turn my back and walk away. No final words. No fancy super-hero exit. I am just gone.
I'd still ike to counter-act that a bit. A few years ago, I understood that my mother had no clue what so ever. So I told her about everything. I mean everything from my life. She cried a lot, and we sort of made up a bit. She is still not any smarter, but miracles doesn't work. No matter. She told me a while back that she has learned that there are more important things in life than things and money.

We get along today.

I think what I am trying to say is that, for me, it worked wonders to not try to adapt all the time, like AS' usually does.
Be yourself. But be sure you can handle the worst possible outcome if you dare to try the confrontational line.



Aprilviolets
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,110

17 May 2011, 7:03 pm

Yes I hold grudges when people have done me wrong and then I won't have anything to do with them again, if I can help it.



pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

17 May 2011, 7:39 pm

Oh yes! Fire and brimstone to those who have ever slighted me.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


Sheldrake
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 42

18 May 2011, 10:37 am

yeah I hold grudges. I generally forgive people easily but when they make repeat offences and are too arrogant to realise the problem then things can get ugly.



crouton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,207

18 May 2011, 10:55 am

I'm terrible with grudges. The anger I feel over events of the past can sometimes be so intense that I'm reduced to swearing and hitting things, even weeks or months after the original incident.



BoltOn
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 36
Location: Australia

14 Dec 2014, 12:01 am

evilduck wrote:
Meow1971 wrote:
I hold on to grudges for years... not even willingly I think.

My question is, do others do this and if so what do you do to let it go?

I hold grudges like there's no tomorrow. Also, I don't do s**t to let it go. Let me tell you why.
The why is that I don't care. If people have wronged me, I se no reason to hold them near. Ever. No reason what so ever. This goes for as close family as my mother and father as well. I know this by experience. i will turn my back and walk away. No final words. No fancy super-hero exit. I am just gone.
I'd still ike to counter-act that a bit. A few years ago, I understood that my mother had no clue what so ever. So I told her about everything. I mean everything from my life. She cried a lot, and we sort of made up a bit. She is still not any smarter, but miracles doesn't work. No matter. She told me a while back that she has learned that there are more important things in life than things and money.

We get along today.

I think what I am trying to say is that, for me, it worked wonders to not try to adapt all the time, like AS' usually does.
Be yourself. But be sure you can handle the worst possible outcome if you dare to try the confrontational line.


Yes, well said, and I am the same. I have a 'scorched earth' policy - most of the time I'm willing to throw the baby, bathwater and bathroom out if it means justice be done. And I can't help it, I've tried forgiving people but it just doesn't work. The only thing that works is if they suddenly apologise out of the blue, of their own volition - this is how one of my brothers and I finally came to terms. Otherwise... it's the hit-list, and the day of reckoning.



ksf777
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 23 Nov 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 26
Location: Santa Cruz

14 Dec 2014, 12:25 am

I hold as much grudges against other people as I hold grudges against myself.It evens itself out.