He can't have autism

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I began working as temporary cashier at visions for two days to make up off days from work. I met a guy who started with me about my same age and we got along very well. I have his number and i been giving him rides to work. He told me he has aspergers in the car which i found really strange. He didn't seem to any symptoms. He could stare at the eyes and talk and he was extremely social that everyone liked him. He was too kind if that helps and a bit awkward here and there but overall he seemed normal and un autistic to me. He was really great with customers and was conversing with every customer and making them laugh.I, on the hand, am quiet around most people and extremely socially awkward that it doesn't take long to know i have aspergers. I think he the only person I met who admitted he has autism and now that i met one, i have the feelings that i am more severely autistic. whats your thoughts?

Some possibilities
1. He wants a relationship with and does not have Aspergers. He is saying he has Aspergers to make you feel like you have a bond with him. He may be also using the fact that people with Asperger’s can be socially naive
2. He does not have Aspergers but read an article or two about it and convinced himself he is an Aspie.
3. He has very mild Aspergers and has learned to cope very well.

I would personally be suspicious and careful when interacting with this person. I would ask co workers if they think this person is a “player” or a “ladies man”

You think he is saying he has aspergers to make me feel good. No. I thought about that possibility and he isn't a psychopath like that. He truly meant what he said but he tried to play it off and say he got over it when i asked him in the stores if her really has it like he doensn't have it. I think he let it slip in the car and he regretted telling me. But he said it fast and we switched topics as if he let is slip.

Other possibilities:

1. His autism affects him in ways different than yours does you
2. He has been able to learn compensatory strategies that he effectively executes
3. He is making social errors that others find charming and you are not picking up on
4. His deficits are less obvious

I will admit this is a sensitive topic for me. Both of my kids can appear quite typical on the surface. But if you know them well, then you know how hard they have to work to keep up that appearance. No NT person has to work that hard to appear typical. And when their ability to compensate fails, they fall very hard and often get little understanding from others, who have not realized that they are working to overcome social deficits and that what they generally see is the result of effort, not innate ability.

I guess what I am saying is looks can be deceiving. It doesn't sound like you know him well, or for very long. It may be that he is just very comfortable at work and knows the scripts well so it gives him the appearance of natural capacity that he doesn't really have. I myself, a rather well-rooted introvert with some social awkwardness, can appear quite extroverted and socially adept in some circumstances. It is no more than acting, however. I have a script and I carry it out. The keen eye will see it though, because my "script" stays the same, even if the situation changes and it is hard for me to improvise. Social gatherings, even though I can usually handle them successfully, are exhausting and a lot of work. But people who only know me casually may not be aware of that.

You can be pretty social Aspie if you have the right upbringing and are pretty smart so you can learn what to do and say. I was dragged to tons of weddings and other social gatherings.

One of the clues, if accurate, is that he stares at the eyes. I tend to do that too--NTs don't.

Just because he's pretty socially mobile doesn't necessarily mean much. A lot of people with Asperger syndrome and autism can learn NT social skills really. I've learned to cope with eye contact, etc. Not unheard of.

I have been faking being a NT for a really long time but I can't ever not be awkward. It's just who I am. Does that mean i am more severe? Sorry about the stupid questions guys as this is my first time observing another autistic person in real life that i am very stunned.

AlthougH i can say that i found it very easy connecting with him and i easily conversed with him and joked around so much. I am a 100% sure that he thinks I am NT unless he caught me with my lack of eye contact. So what can that mean? Do 2 autistic people understand each other?

Severity implies that there's some sort of linear scale. But autism is much more complex than that. Some of us has more trouble with cognitive issues, some of us with sensory problems, others with communication. Still others have a little bit of trouble with all three. Some can't pass as NT very well, but what they can do doesn't take much toll. Some can pass as NT really well but it's exhausting.

All of this interacts with all of our other life circumstances differently too. Two people on the spectrum might have the same sensory issues, but one works in a library and another in a loud factory. One person might have no problems passing for a few hours every day so long as they have time to recuperate in the evenings. That same person might have a lot more trouble if their situation changes, and they don't have that time to themselves anymore.

I learnt to stare my teachers in the eye when I was 5

just remember comedians and actors who are aspies have a whole set of skills that we (and they) are blind of!

I have been around four others, three boys and one girl, and every one is different. The key thing I see with each of them, is kindness, gentleness, and a little bit of stimmy stuff, and difficulty with nonverbal cues, especially with handing them things; they miss that. Spent the weekend with two of them (which was a blast: we really "clicked" and it was just cool to share my toys and "compare notes"). But each one of them has a different smattering of symptoms, while at the same time being so much the same. It's definitely a spectrum. No one of them is exactly the same and I am just as different from them as they are from each other. And I can see that having depression or bipolar or OCD or other mental health challenges makes a HUGE difference in terms of presentation; so does personality and the individual social drive. Those things really make a difference. The fewer of those comorbids you have the better you can cope, the more "mild" you can be.

That's the way I am----I LOVE being a waitress, for instance (VERY un-Aspie-like!!). I would label myself, pretty much, as an extrovert----though I DO need time to "recover", and I LOVE being alone. MY Aspieness is in my cognitive / sensory problems.

He can have autism. Or maybe he doesn't but for some reason has convinced himself he has. It is possible he confided in you because he recognised that you were autistic too?
Anyway, I think you should try not to worry about it. Your not necessarily more severely affected, you are aware of more of you symptoms, others probably don't realise how much you struggle to appear NT.