Why do some of us have friends and the rest of us don't?

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I don't have any friends but I have many acquaintances. It is easy for me to talk to people about school but I have a hard time talking about my interests that are non school related.

Friends come and go. Had some good friendships over the years that lasted some years at the time.
Mostly people seek me out me rather than me them. I did bar work for years and met a room mate that way that turned into a friendship. We even stayed in touch after moving countries but eventually our paths went different ways.
One friend that was around for years I met on the bus. Should say she met me. Turned out she had the hots for a guy on the bus and I thought it funny at the time so entertained her but it turned into a friendship that lasted years. We totally grew apart after we both had a child and adopted totally different parenting methods.
I got one friend at the mo within driving distance and that suits me.
I don't do acquaintances if I can help it. I don't mind putting the mental energy into a person if there is a click on some level but social niceties are not my thing.

If you think making a judgement based upon a quick observation (aka thin slicing) is unreliable, then read "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. I stand by my conclusion that the above statements are an impairment to friendship.

To me it seems like those Aspies who are more outgoing and talkative, as well as un-self-conscious, are more able to make friends. Having interests that others share, for example video games or writing, helps as well. I don't know, though. I have trouble telling how close a friendship is from just observing - I may think two people are closer than they actually are.

I've always had at least one close friend, but the friendships were never as deep as I wanted them to be. Since I was really young I've had trouble sharing certain things about myself. I'm slowly getting more open, but I feel like my unwillingness to reveal certain secrets is making it hard for me to make friends. I talk with some of my classmates sometimes, but I have no idea how to get closer to them and become "best friends." I'm naturally a very quiet and shy person, as well as sensitive and irritable. This makes it hard for me to get close to people.

Looking back, a lot of my friendships were with people who had a similar intelligence level, who tended to see things in a multidimensional way, who were lateral thinkers, very widely read and acutely aware of the political manipulations that go on at ever level in every day life. Or they had particular gifts in the creative or performing arts. They were highly critical of the status quo and outliers in their views regarding what the problems and solutions to social and life problems were. Some were highly compassionate, some were not. None were card carrying members of the herd apart from one woman who had an enormous capacity to zero in on the emotions that others were feeling and to interpret these with a deep level of perception - she was not an intellectual, though her friendship vastly enriched my life and I learned a great deal from her. Another particularly compassionate wise non-intellectual was a spiritual director in the catholic church, who also taught me a great deal about insight into one's own soul. I have never had a friendship with an "ordinary" person - they don't like me, and I have learned not to trust them... Without friendships I very much doubt I would be alive now, I would have probably suicided long ago.

When I actually look back, there were persons whom truly wanted to be my friend though not being very good at judging another's character I wound up pushing such people away.In my way of wording it many unpleasant scenarios have happened to me in my life that tended to make me become less optimistic as it pertains towards friendship.Still, everyday I'm always doing my best to be friendly and try to make friends even if my actions on a sincere & honorable level fail. Also deep down inside I've felt that few people would want to be around someone whom has more demons(emotional wise) Than Linda Blair in the Exorcist.

Seriously, friendship has never been too easily be it for myself, sister,brother as each of us had our own troubles with such..

I think it has something to do with an individual's tolerance to other people's b.s. that decides whether they have friends or not.

Simple, some of us have matured more in the manner of adapting to the world around us or have found people we have many things in common with. I only have 3 friends right now, I live with 2 of them and the 3rd visits frequently, and I only hold them because we have a ton in common, including interests and the fact we're all social rejects in one way or another.
Although I surpass them all by far.

I'm in an odd age bracket really, Hubby and I have no kids so we have slowly lost friends over the years instead of regaining. The good thing is we get enough social from each other and visiting family. I work with an Aspie that has lots of friends, plays in a band, takes a lot of road trips, and works 50 to 60 hours a week and has a girlfriend of several years. Takes all kinds.

This I can identify with, especially at school, when I didn't have any real friends but I realise now that a lot of girls especially tried to make friends with me; I tried, in my way, to reciprocate but didn't know how. I also didn't know how to judge character; especially as some other people were cruel even when they pretended to be friendly.

I'm a aspie male; however, I find I relate socially most easily with women. (BTW I'm also straight (and happily married), just to confound another stereotype about the latter trait.) I have long known this; I had only a few close friends in college and afterwards, and most of these have been women. These friendships have mostly stayed with me. But I have never found it very easy to make that connection or socialise easily in a group environment. Not that I don't try; but I tend to 'tune out' in social situations.

I only truly realised about the girls from school having been nice to me when last year (coincidentally about the time I was diagnosed) some of them friended me on Facebook, and I now communicate with them on that medium quite often even tho' I haven't seen most of them since school days (>20 years ago).

Also last year I started becoming more proactive in making friends at work and now I often have lunch with one female colleague or another (I work in an environment that is majority-female anyway) and I think some of these may be developing into lasting friendships. Even if they don't, the company is great. We shall see