Do you get mad over pity?

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I don't know if it's pity, but it irritates me when people speak to me like I'm a child, all slow and soft, like I might run away if they aren't careful.

Sometimes I don't notice it right away, and if I don't know the person it's not too bad, but if it's someone I see who recurrently speaks to me in this manner, it bothers me because it makes me think they must believe I am very stupid.

Pity? No. But sympathy is sometimes nice. Granted, not many people seem to overtly pity me. But when it does happen, it annoys me.

I am reading this topic with much interest, but without much understanding. What exactly is pity? Can you give some examples? Thanks!

Absolutely, thats one of the main reasons I'm cautious about telling anyone about my AS

Pity is basically the "Oh you poor thing, how awful" response, in both verbal and non-verbal forms.

Isn't it strange how sympathy/empathy and compassion are often used in the same situations as pity, only with most people pity often has a negative connotation to it. Pity is almost sympathy, however it is unwanted and can belittle the other person. Strange.

Yeah. It's strange.

I bet that pity at one point meant just feeling bad that someone else felt bad.

But now it means a particular kind of "feeling bad for people" that's actually patronizing and belittling. It puts one person above the other.

Like I have chronic pain. And I know it feels like crap, and if I talk to another person who has chronic pain, we kind of grumble with each other, but there's no pity. It's kind of a "Yeah, that sucks" reaction that still has us on equal ground.

But with pity, what I get is "Oh my GAWD how could you live like that?" responses that set my teeth on edge.

And I also get pity for things that don't even bother me, such as not being able to speak. So the person is "feeling bad for" me in a way that I don't feel bad, so I don't know who on earth they're feeling bad for when they do that but it's annoying. Then they decide I'm "brave" or something if I happen to accept the way my body functions.

I guess it's hard to feel "brave" when you know nothing else. It just seems normal almost. It's kinda like you have the inclination to say "You know, I admire you for having the nerve to be normal. That must take a lot of guts."

Yes, I hate being patronised. Got it a lot when I was a kid. But I used to get angrier about it when I didn't understand AS.

Now that I understand, I don't think it happens as much anymore. I'm usually just ignored (like a lot of normal people?) more than condescended to.

I think the way people call some other people "brave" is stupid. Like if you don't have any alternatives to a situation or you don't know anythning else. That sounds more like the definition of "screwed" to me.

I hate it when people treat me like I'm 10 years old, especially my family. They sometimes talk about things they won't discuss around me or when I'm standing there, they whisper like in that way adults talk around children when they think the topic is too "adult". I'm 30 years old and have a college degree yet they treat my 17 year-old sister with more respect than me just because I'm different.

:twisted: I HATE HATE HATE PITY!! !! !! !! !!

Why do some peeps think i need pity just cuz I can't spell as good as alot of ppl my age? or because sometimes i act kinda inmature BUT THATS NOT ALOT!

DON'T PITY ME! IT'S JUST WASTING YOUR AND MY TIME. IF YOU WANT TO SHOW YOUR SYMPATHY JUUST BE NICE!! !!

Sorry pity is one thing that really gets me going.