Letting People Down :(

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Very sad today, I let a friend down last weekend. I do it all the time I'm afraid. We had made some plans to go see a concert. I agreed when first asked and was very excited about going. Then I found out the time of the event had changed. We were having trouble finding out how much tickets were. With the change of event time more people could go with us so the driver needed to be changed. We found out it was two hours away not the original 30 minutes we had guessed. All this happened within an hour of the original "yes I will go that sounds fun". There were a few more changes to be made and I never heard back from my friend. I got scared about even going. Then I got distracted and lost track of time. I was almost late for work the next day which would have really upset my balance. When I finally did hear from my friend it was to late to go and she was upset that that I had flaked. She was mainly mad because she felt dumb believing I really wanted to go.........but I did, I really really did. I just got scared and overthought it. Now I'm just plain sad because there really is no good way to explain. Because I am so very perfect at acting NT that people think I am and expect me to act accordingly which is almost impossible sometimes. Aargh dang my stupid brain.
Does anyone else "let people down" this way or am I truely in the wrong planet?

I rarely flake out on plans or commitments, but once in a while if I really just don't feel like going out I might make up some believable excuse not to go - but it's quite rare.

An AS friend of mine hates it when people flake out & doesn't want to flake out himself - but he knows himself well enough to know that he might change his mind about going somewhere or doing something, so his automatic intuitive solution is to almost never commit to anything. He'll express an interest and say flat out that it sounds cool but he doesn't want to commit because he doesn't know how his schedule might change, if something else will come up, or if he might not feel up to doing anything. So he'll give a tentative yes & then I'll simply check back in with him closer to the date/time and see if he's up for it - sometimes he is, sometimes he's not for various reasons - but he's always appreciative of the invites. Since he never commits, he never flakes out, so is never rude about it. Also, he doesn't have to explain much to me about why he doesn't want to go out - I already know he likes to stick to his routine & comfortable places and faces etc and accept that fully.

But yeah, maybe try something along the lines of what he does? Don't say yes and commit.. express interest and indicate that you'll see how your day goes and if you might be able to make it to some invite.

Also, in the case you wrote about.. it doesn't sound like you flaked out too badly.. especially since all of the details & logistics of the event evolved from what you knew about it at first. It's not your fault you didn't have all the info to make a proper decision and politely decline the invite right off the bat.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I'm a huge flake if I'm being honest. I try not to commit myself to things anymore to give me some leeway because of this, but I still do flake if something goes unplanned.

As a rule I flake out only with those I intuitively discern will love me regardless of my limitations.

did i read it right? there had to be changes made and your friend was not in any way able
to get in touch with you before it?

obviously something like that fails. i wouldnt call it your fault, so many changes can be very problematic.
i really dont know what your friend expects from you. from my point you didnt flake.

Thanks everyone. That was just the input I needed. I like the idea of not committing but sometimes I forget to not commit. So funny, yesterday as I wrote this I felt I had no friends in the world. Thanks you Wrong Planeteers for helping me feel not so alone.

Been there so many times man. I know how it feels.

I've flaked out too. You're not alone.

I accidentally flaked out on someone once because I got my days mixed up, I thought it was Wednesday instead of Saturday and I was supposed to meet someone at six at a mall and she called me and she told me what the day was and the time and I was shocked it was today and she understood luckily so she wasn't mad. I was mad at myself. She just thought I got nervous and didn't show but no I fell asleep because I never went to bed unless I was tired because I wasn't working so there was no point in having a bed time and I learned the hard way how that is a bad idea.

Another time I flaked out which was intentional was when I was supposed to meet someone on Craiglist and I was going to buy a few video games from him and it was one of those pirate game things where he puts all the games on one card and I notice an officer showed up and it dawned on me that maybe what I was doing was illegal and the guy I am meeting could be an undercover cop waiting to arrest me so I went home and apologized to him in email for flaking out. But he seemed to not be mad about it. But I felt bad.

These were the only times I ever flaked out.