Do you think being logical makes it seem like you don't care

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Do you think being logical makes it seem like you don't care?

I can best describe this in an example. Me and my ex have had a very on and off relationship and I think many problems have been caused by my Aspergers traits and the fact that he doesn't believe I have AS. I have always said that I will not chase him and if he says he doesn't want to be with me then that is the last he will hear of me. His ex always chased him even though he told her that he didn't want her and I just don't see the point in this. He finished with me on wednesday and after initially pushing him when he split up with me on the phone (I wanted to make sure he really meant it as he has split up from me before and changed his mind) he said that I did't make him happy and he thought that he didn't make me happy (which is untrue) The next day I messaged to say that as I don't make him happy and that I want him to be happy, it is an easy thing for me to never see him again. Is this the point at which 'normal' people chase to prove that they loved them all along? I'm wondering if I just made it look like I never cared?

Also he says that I play games, an example is that when the relationship was starting to fall apart, but the sex was still good I asked if maybe we should stop being together and just meet up for sex. That seems quite logical to me as that is how the relationship started and that was the only bit we were still both enjoying. He said I was playing games by asking him that.
I do need to point out that I do love him and if he wanted to be with me then I would do anything I could to be with him, but there is absolutely no point in pursuing someone who is not interested.

Has anyone had any similar incidents? or maybe some non relationship ones?

That guy has issues. Asking you to have casual sex with him and then accusing you of playing games? This guy is not worth your time.

It started as casual sex 18 months ago, but had two periods of being a couple for 6 months each. Yeah I admit that he probably has his issues, but I'm really concerned with my behaviour, I still think that I care about people, but how I go about things and word things might make it seem like I don't.

I think you can care too much about caring. I used to.

Relationships to me were always on or off.

Don't like to say this but why did you text him the next day?

He had already said you don't make him happy so why would he want to see you again?

Why even bother about what his ex used to do?

'Normal' people don't have a need to prove their love after the relationship has finished.

'Normal' people don't suggest casual sex after a break-up, they go get pissed and find a one-night stand

I learned eventually that to have expectations of any relationship beyond fidelity was wrong.

Like I said, you can get lost in the caring, it helps to set your own parameters and ask yourself if there are ulterior motives for wanting to be in a relationship so badly.

I text him because when we had spoken on the phone and I couldn't get my words out properly, plus he owes me money from booking an event which I need back in order to book myself.
I agree, at the point that he said that I didn't make him happy I said that I wouldn't see him again, but he has a habit of changing his mind on this subject and this is what I don't understand.
I bother about what his ex used to and still does because she assaulted me in her pursuit to get him back.
TBH I don't think I want to be in a relationship badly, the whole thing is really stressful, however the time we spent together was enjoyable.

BUT these are side points, in essence I suppose what I've been getting at is that I can bluntly state my intentions and this is not always very well received in the way it is intended.

Another example: If something bad happens in my life, ( e.g. fall out with someone, something requires mending leaving me with no cash, losing something etc) I may initially get overly upset, but then very quickly move on to something else, for example get immersed in a special interest. I don't see the point in wasting the energy getting upset with something I can't change and so try and put that energy into something else, but sometimes I think that maybe it looks like I was never that bothered about the thing in the first place, which is untrue.


I think I am struggling to get across my original point because I seem to have got bogged down in the intricate details of the situation I chose as an example

For me, being logical leads to a degree of certainty that others seem to find intimidating. While I like knowing what is really going on, others seem to like filling the gaps in their knowledge with their own beliefs ("God did it") or with their darkest fears and prejudices ("It's a conspiracy lead by the One-Percenters to keep the rest of us as slaves").

Finding out that the city-wide power outage was actually caused by a squirrel shorting out a pair of high-voltage lines seemed to disturb those who had already made up their minds - they seem to find reality insulting.

I've been told at work before that I'm rude. While for me, I try my utmost to be polite and considerate. Yet they say I'm rude? wow. I never saw that coming.

I echo this. It's almost like people need scapegoats. Nonsense to me!