Some aspies have it harder than others?

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Here's what I mean. It seems there are a lot of "stereotypical traits" of Asperger syndrome that more or less get tossed around as general issues in people's lives. It's weird, because some of these I never really struggled with. For example, I don't seem to have any issues regarding eye contact or verbal language. Coordination issues seemed to have been ironed out, if I had any. The only true Asperger-like part that I have would be having major social anxiety and being terrible in NT social situations, and not really showing a whole lot of interest in the mainstream culture, either.

Anyone here with varying degrees of Aspie-ness?

I showed a lot more symptoms of AS during my early teen years as opposed to now (which is to be expected), but I never had any issues with speech, eye-contact etc. My speech was always overly-eloquent for my age which has evened itself out now.

Nowadays, it feels to me like I'm really poor at assessing relationship cues, indicators of interest, knowing the 'right thing' to say to a girls I like and such. Though this may be a cause of lack of previous experience.

Its called a spectrum for a reason and even tho we may share some similar experiences we're still individuals with our own strengths, struggles, and coping skills.

I seem to be able to understand others fairly well. I can have conversations with others, and don't go on and on about my special interests. My main troubles are with meltdowns and oversensitivity, and having trouble forming close relationships.

Socially speaking, my main issue lies within trouble connecting with others and adjusting my behavior accordingly in social situations. I believe myself to be very capable of understanding sarcasm and reading body language while talking to others, but this is all useless when you can't keep up on your side of things. I'd say my biggest detriments in life as relating to AS are sensory problems and dealing with things like change/the unexpected or, y'know, just handling the stress of daily life that should be no sweat.

My traits seem to be all over the place, and sometimes I wonder if I really have Asperger's or just social anxiety and ADHD.

I've never had problems with picking up on verbal or non-verbal social cues, and I am able to understand people when I get to know them. I am interested in people and I always have been. When I was a child I used to draw pictures of myself doing things with my family and peers, with detailed facial expressions too, and other expressions. I wasn't an expert at drawing, I just liked doing it. And I used to (and still do now) write stories about people, getting in depth about their feelings and try to make the reader really get into the character's shoes. I am currently writing a story about a young boy living ordinary life, but whatever he tries to do it always backfires. I get into depth about how he feels and how stuff makes him and the other characters feel and so on. I can't wait 'til I finish the story, and get my partner to read it. I'm sure he will enjoy it.

But anyway, I often get told by people to ''be more logical'' and to ''think outside the box'' and to ''pay more attention to the smaller things rather than see the big picture all the time''. That often surprises me because I thought it was extremely common in Aspies to think logically, outside the box, and pay more attention to detail. So often I wonder if I don't have Asperger's. But then I think of times when friends in the past have phoned me up just to lecture me about my quirks, trying to teach me some social skills (like remembering to say ''please'' and ''thank you'' if their parents offered me something, etc). The truth about that is that I knew I should say ''please'' and ''thank you'', but I used to feel awfully shy around other children's parents for some reason, and it was like I was too polite to be polite, if that makes sense. So it's not that I'm unaware of any of these social cues. It's just that I seem to lack confidence. But I have gotten a little more confident with speaking up as I've got older. But I still get told by my partner that I'm ''erratic''.

OK, I'm going on now. But I told you my traits are all over the place. I feel like I'm too eccentric to be an Aspie. Whenever I've been around other Aspies, I always feel like I'm so hyper and full of sense of humour, and, like NTs, they think that I am funny (as in ha-ha funny, which is a compliment). Also I feel they are the normal ones. Maybe I do have ADHD as a dominant disorder, and just a few traits of Asperger's. That certainly would explain something.

Yeah, I understand how that feels. Sometimes I also wonder as to whether I actually have Asperger syndrome or if it may actually be more accurately ADHD, but with some aspie and even schizotypal traits stacked on there. Paying attention has never been a strength of mine, even outside of a "need to pay attention" setting I tend to get lost in my mind very quickly.

I also understand that same lack of confidence. I always get this feeling: "is it okay to speak? Am I going to offend somebody? Is it okay to talk to you?". I think this isn't necessarily a natural trait but rather something that I experienced (especially in middle school), where I was practically excluded if I even tried. I really try not to come off as some kind of creep or perv, but I'm beginning to realize that's not the natural response for most people.

I have always found eye contact very difficult except when I know someone very well and feel at ease with them. Had always thought that I 'would grow out of it' though now I am 57 this seems a forlorn hope
If I am speaking in a situation where I feel stressed to make a good impression I get really flustered and find it very hard to put forward a coherent and clear comment. In more relaxed situations I can be highly articulate.
Re. special interests-I go to a French group and tend to mention the Finnish language (one of my special interests) a fair number of times, though don't go on and on about it.

What sensory sensitivities I have aren't often severe enough that I have to do anything really conspicuous in public to deal with it. I'm pretty meticulous about personal hygiene. I'm creative. But I don't have any close friends because I usually miss the appropriate behavior for meeting people and joining conversations, I'm absolutely terrible at relating and reacting to others' emotional states, and I often withdraw from social situations and lose touch with people because I don't feel like I have anything to talk about other than my interests.

Looking at the 3 currently living generations of my family it is frankly obvious that the answer to your OP question is yes. We are affected in both similar and different ways. There are more of us on the spectrum than NTs in the family (only 2 of them out of the whole lot).

Today has been a significant day because our family medical files have been joined up so that the complexity of the heritable physical conditions we have (which are related to the spectrum, and occur more often to ASD people, (like coeliac and immune issues, from which several of us suffer) is more clear to the GP currently treating us - so that the big picture is more apparent than the past practice of viewing us in isolation as patients and missing the links. Progress!! !

I honestly have no idea. I have sensory issues but I'm quite good with facial expressions, humour and language. I have regular routines but I'm not sure whether they could be considered pathological as I am fairly flexible when I have to be. I can't tolerate uncertainty about future events but I love paradoxes and ambivalent language. I think that if I didn't have sensory issues then I would not be diagnosed. I don't have narrow interests either. I've always had very broad interests in science, history, psychology, languages, cinema, videogames and literature. I would still be on the spectrum and my close family members have various autistic traits but I don't think most of these traits are pathological.

Yes you're right, some people with Aspergers do have it harder. Let me explain.

A lot of it has to do with how you're affected by Aspergers. Also it can be your personality as well. But one thing is for certain. Those of us who are more adaptable are more likely to succeed in this world. Life is all about adapting and being resilient. Because someday when you enter the real world and your parents are gone, no one's gonna give a damn about whether you succeed or fail. You have to learn to adapt and learn ambition and learn to be a self-starter. Or someday when mommy and daddy are no longer around, you're screwed. The good news, you're all high functioning so ur all capable of doing whatever you want. You just gotta be ready.

Yeah... I mean I've been learning to cook and all that important "life stuff". Actually, I wonder if my diagnosis actually prevented my family from teaching this stuff, in fear that I would screw up....

I have aLOT of the typical Aspie weaknesses but I don't have any of the Aspie strengths/skills or into the geek culture.

I'd have to agree. I'm bad in social and empathetic situations, but I'm thankful I have no real sensory issues other than touch feeling awkward.

One thing I have learned is that autism is very inconsistent and has lots of verities.