jealousy, anxiety, Depression

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everyone!

Im new to the site as my therapist said that i should come on hear an make friends as im struggling with depression as i am at stage 4. ok so hear goes one of my friends that ive know 6-7 years on xbox live i have feeling for this person and well lets just say they are in a relationship.

at 01:00-02:00 my friend has sex at the weekend as they live oposit sides of Landon and well i turn supremely depressed i have been through multiple different attempts suicide as i cant get ride of the feelings i have for my friend, ive had many thoughts telling me to end my life but i have been unable to succeed.

I am a Student learning English and maths level 1 ive been at college 5 or 6 years know and ive worked really hard i have a level 3 in IT and im working to get a uni degree but because of my bad year ive been struggling to do thing in my life like going out to college and so on i wanna move out my house but i and needing support as i have ASD.

Thanks for reading i guess i dunno how long i'll do this because one day i might succeed in killing my self thanks for taking the time and interest in me.

Just a bit about the jealousy and depression part.. it's all a matter of perspective. What if you changed your perspective from being jealous of your friend to being happy for them that they're in a relationship they want to be in & have an active sex life they enjoy?

I say this as I've had crushes in the past where I wished I could be with someone.. but the attraction isn't mutual, so I'm not with them. When they'd go on a date I'd sometimes feel jealous but I did my best to try to be happy for them instead, because if they're happy in doing whatever it is they're doing - then I'm happy that they're happy, even if they're not with me.

I belive you but my friend i am imprinted to them as i try to be happy for them that it allways gets me down when i think about this person its annoying some reason i carnt stop thinking about them at times ill be occupied by as soon as im alone i think about them. Ive been on a search for sombody that i like as much as my friend once i find someone that likes me in the same way i hope i can move on but for know i have to put up with it.

Ouch!! Sounds like you are suffering from Sensory Overload therefore your brain in exhausted. Thats the major part of your severe depression. That also causes those negative repetitive thoughts. Im not saying they are not valid just too extremist and you cannot manage them. Okay take one problem at a time. The first is you . You need a schedule. Get up get dress hygiene go to class come home and relax (meditation or nap) then homework dinner after some fun like tv movie join a club and sleep. Try and eat healthy and drinks lots of water . Every time you feel down - water!! You must sleep 9 hours at least . We are suffers of SID. Then you deal with school. Later with one healthy relationship. Last is moving out. Never ever all at the same time! Good luck. Take care of your body first.

Is your depression stemming from feeling that you are losing (or have lost) the only friend you have?) I'm not sure if I have understood you correctly, could you please elaborate? If so, did your suicide ideas start when your friend started another relationship? And is autism part of the mix of your issues? (I'm assuming it is and that was why you were referred to Wrong Planet). It's ok if it isn't, WP is a support site anyway. One final question: are you socially isolated at the moment?

For now. I get you. I really do. I've had some really intense long running crushes that have been very difficult to shake. But, over time, those feelings eventually lessen and you'll be able to move on to being interested in someone else.

PS If the "I believe you" part was in response to the "Just because you don't believe me doesn't make me a liar" part of my post, that wasn't actually part of my post. It's my signature on this forum and is attached beneath every post I make.

Thank you everybody yes i do have ASD(autism spectrum disorder) i am smack bang in the middle of the spectrum my life has been owned my anxiety. and yes i have reached stage 4 which ik many people dont understand that you can get worse in depression at stage 4 your an erg ant case.

I have feelings for my friend and that because they are in a relationship its made me jelouse which has coursed my depression off i am social isolated i feel the world isnt fit to leave in i have since i left school because i lost all my friends i have started increasing my caring to my self sorted my room out im trying to sort my eating out because its turned into only eating 1 meal a day, im finding it hard to remember having a bath i try keeping on top of having a shave, keeping my cloths clean i am on top of i change everyday.

ive been trying to occupied my self by looking after my baby second cuzen im sorry about my spelling im cursed with learning difficulties as well but yet i have a level 3 in IT huh lol stupid teachers said id die as soon as i leave school because the only friends i had were a normal chav and almost every teacher at secondary school, but i was bullied all my life so my anxiety is stuck from things from that.

i drooped out of clubs such as: BFZ(bully free zone), K2G(Kidz to gether) and i even dropped out of the ACF(army cadet force). i fell out with my dad managed to get to see him again after not talking to him for about 3 years but he recently stopped speaking and seeing me because i did not get him a b-day card stupid reason ik my dads an idiot.

so i guess my first question would be what should i do first?how to i find people i trust when throughts i get are telling me not to trust the or trust them or they will betray you and bla bla if you get my meaning i just dunno who i can trust anymore i dont even trust my family on both sides.

I really understand that it is very painful to love someone who can't love you back. As you live in the Manchester area, maybe some of the English WP members know of support services you may be able to hook into and find someone there who can be trusted, to listen to and be there for you as a one to one supporter while you come through this painful experience.

It's understandable that you envy others who seem so much happier than you are now, and that it has led you into a spiral of depression. Sooner or later, I hope, as you go on you will find a group of people who really get you and that this leads you out of isolation (which is also a very painful state, I know). But for now, I can only suggest that you investigate one to one support to help you move into a healing phase.

The pain does lessen eventually, though never as fast as we hope unfortunately. One day, sooner or later, you wake up and find that it no longer matters so much. In the meantime I am glad you found your way here and I hope this is a first step to a much happier phase of your life. But it may take a while to get there. Breaking out of your isolation and finding safe people whom you can trust is important - you are on the right track there. I hope you will find comfort and understanding on Wrong Planet meantime - stay in touch and you can also post in "The Haven" part of the forums here if you find yourself in a really bad space, that's what it's for, people go there to get and offer immediate support to anyone having a really tough time.

thanks

i feel so lonly i have no friend to play xbox with all my american friends are ever in bed or at school, even then they dont always talk to me is there away i can get friends that will play the same games as me. what should i do im not that good at making new friends because i don't fit in with "normal" even tho the only difference is that its hidden but for some reason being weird is being alone getting along with your self's.

I don't play video games at all so can't be much help there... however, I just took a look as I thought we might have one - and we do: a video game subforum here on wrongplanet. viewforum.php?f=2 I'm sure you can find people there who play the same xbox games as you do.

im feeling depressed again not as bad as i have been but im starting to feel depressed obeasly because of the time and then my mums having sex with a 28 year old so im feeling sad,depressed, angry, annoyed you see i grew up hearing my mum having sex with random guys and well it scared me for a long time i cant approach it like a normal person.

I guess its stupid but i dunno what to do ive experienced sex my self but some reason when my mum dose it is effects me in away apart of my feeling im not exactly thee best am i sometimes i wish i was dead to be honest, but i seem to not be able to be successful at doing it.

I feel stupid i have an ex-silent sense for detail, i feel others emotions i sometimes feel that the segment of my brain where increased to make me into a complete mess, sorry i know you don't wanna hear me talk like this but i have nobody else to talk to so i guess this is the only way.... I HATE BEING LONELY .