Question concerning the diagnosis process...

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@ASPartofMe: Thank you! Your words are helpful. You are right, I've nothing to be sorry for. So easy to blame myself though, especially during times where I am feeling a bit confused/stressed/anxious.

@GodzillaWoman: Ha! I know, hard to believe but true. If you have eyebrows of a certain type, and grey wool coat gifted to you, then you are obviously neurotypical, because someone with ASD wouldn't LOOK like you.

I can appreciate it is hard to diagnose ASD in someone who has had a difficult upbringing. I can also appreciate that when said person is able to convey their acknowledgement of this fact and show how they, for want of a better way to explain, dealt with the "crud" with many years of therapy that went very well, that the Psychiatrist should appreciate that they could safely assume the remaining behaviours could be caused by something else. Particularly due to the fact that another person in his own profession had not once in 10 years seen fit to mention this disorder to me!! !

I found this interesting article about Attachment Disorder, have been trawling the web as I know nothing about it:
In their list of diagnostic criteria they say this:

"E. The criteria are not met for autism spectrum disorder."

This sort of explains his "drawing" that he made for me... so the "behaviours" must be the very similar.

I will get a second opinion, I am on the waiting list in my borough. I went private because the NHS wait is unknown currently as the Adult Centre is in between clinicians...indefinitely.
I have to say I regret regret regret going private. I thought I had researched well enough, and knew to take care (after speaking to the National Autistic Society; who are so kind and helpful) to find someone who had awareness of women with ASD, and also the fact that I am older. Alarm bells were ringing from making the appointment at the Clinic, the receptionist was a bit rude and when I pushed her about the length/what to expect etc. for the initial visit she was very vague and sounded annoyed that I was asking. I should have stopped and chosen someone else. I did have a panic mid way through, and the NAS suggested I find someone else, while I was waiting for the ADOS, as I was told by the clinic it would be performed by a women, who unfortunately when I looked her up, had no speciality or apparent knowledge of Autism at all!! !)

Oh dear. Sorry to go on. So yes, I hope to have another evaluation.

Interesting. Personally, I don't believe I feel emotion when hugged (though, this is something I will definitely think about the next time I do hug).

With that being said, I do recognize that my wife or kids hug will not hug me when they are mad at me (i.e. I do something which they say is annoying), but will hug me when they are not mad at me. So, definitely I recognize it as a signal of how they are feeling about me.

Also, I do like the feeling of being squeezed (basically, the pressure feels good). I would love to try Dr. Grandin's hug machine.

Regarding the diagnosis process...I am not certain what advice to offer. I would be curious what level of experience this person has (based upon age, gender, etc. etc. etc.).

I am just adding this final update.

I have had another assessment through the NHS. It was a long process; but not a bad one.

I have been given the diagnosis of being on the spectrum; however he said that they removed "Aspergers" and now call it high functioning.

I feel like I want to talk about it; but I am at work, so for now just this quick update.

I am happy and relieved I think, ultimately. Very relieved. Even though I thought it didn't matter either way, because ultimately it doesn't, we are who we are and we adjust and cope to get through life. But I guess now I can envisage some framework.

Thanks for all the support so far.

I am happy that this important part of your journey of self descovery is finished and you have a framework to continue.