Getting accused of faking it.

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I went to a family thing for Father's Day and my niece was there with her husband and two sons. Her oldest boy (6 yrs.) is non-verbal and on the spectrum, which is what led me to my personal conclusions and self diagnosis - at 51.

Anyways, the spectrum is huge and I'm a girl. My behavior is nothing like Great-nephew's. I told one sister that I thought I had Asperger's and she said it made a lot of sense and answered a lot of questions. Another sister, same thing, but there's six more who are comparing me to my great-nephew and saying this is just another one of my "things." They'll admit I've had these "things" all my life but they seem to think my behavior was always willful and that I'm a bad person, rather than it's just who I am. It's like they're collecting evidence for my Existence hearing.

I'm so sick of the guilt. All these stupid "things" I've had are simply the results of me trying to fit in and be productive. I'll be going along, doing what I think is the right way to do a thing and suddenly others will descend upon me and tell me I'm doing it wrong, and then I fail, miserably - but if I manage to make it to the end of one of my endeavors without negative interference, I'm astoundingly successful.

I'm not going to argue with anyone about me being autistic. I've wasted enough of my time already, trying to figure out what the Hell was going on. Now that I know, I have other things to do. If, one day, I can afford the diagnosis, I'll go get it. Right now, I'm working very hard to make enough money to see me unto death. I'm not getting any younger and I've got nothing, so far.

Next, I'll probably be disassociating myself from my family. I don't think their harmful behavior toward me is intentional but now that I understand what's going on, I think it will be best if I just avoid them. It won't be hard. I think they might even prefer it.

Faking your own learning is never easy because for one thing you want to mask the fact you have a condition/disability and on the other hand you want some wider recognition for just trying to compete with an essay in the big bad world.
Im soon embarking on an ambitious project to better my skills and open up the pathways to a whole new way of development stratedgy.
Self-induced stress with a developmental disorder is usually quite common within peer groups but if you have a disability which is self- inhibiting to the workload you're given then its all too easy to just quit and throw in the towel. Im debating currently on a diploma and which one to go for as ive never had one only a BTECH first grade certificate which I don't think added up to a higher grade diploma. These days its important to have as well as explore new skills because before you know it, you are told by this and that person to go and sort out something which you might have never done before. There are people I feel sorry for in this society of which we live in but not those who have or have never wanted to better themselves given the option of doing so. I usually think positive thoughts and the let the rest come with the territiory.
In this case, age is still a factor but I don't think that experience is neither good nor bad.
Retired people out there have to up their skillsets whilst younger people need to be shown the dimensional rope keys, to start and progress in any worldly sense.
My people skills could be better but I m always telling myself those things when it is other people with a lack of them who look to hard-working conscientious people for them.
I wish that somehow someday, someone out of the blue would come along and say to me or via direct interlude, how's your day ? want a cuppa? these are basic human skills that once picked up you can lead and progress. Its the simplest tasks sometimes that lead to greater results, if only people had the time keeping details for them.
If you plucked out a Dragon from its den you might even come across someone as a financial lead to a domain you actively campaign for, such as Theo, who I like as he gives fair comments and marginal critiscism . Anyone who's looking to start any business should go to them for help.
Don't worry, my same dilemma is still there, just trying to actively carve out the right career path that's all. Hype myself up and get out there!

Everyone expects low functioning autism, but that's not true for high-functioning/Aspies as much. Most of my autistic friends are either HFA or Aspies.

Yup, apparently being accused of acting, lying and cheating the benefit system to avoid work.

Told that I've studied up on it to the point of getting convinced of my own lies, yet being able to convince a Psychological Therapist to do a full examination under the Adult Asperger Assessment and "passing it", convincing an Occupational Therapist I need adaptations I need and such, and all the way to the point of convincing an Independent Medical Court and Tribunal Health Judge I have what I have.

My own disability advisors clearly know I have clear problems just by interacting with me. Oh well then, there's no way I can convince everyone despite the evidence.

It varies state by state, when a person in trying to apply for SSI/SSD or Medicaid Medicare.
Florida is a horrible state for this. My friend is having his second attempt with a lawyer to apply; he has a lot of physical and mental health problems and still was denied.

When i entered the system i was at a young age, and had case workers who set me up for life. All i have to do is those every 7 years reinstatements.

I was lucky to have a good treatment team with social worker to set me up long ago while i was still inpatient, so i would have it when i got out

I was only diagnosed with Aspergers this year (before the DSM-V came out) after a long life of being bullied and not understood. Now that I know I have it and my counselor also told me I had been repressing some of my obvious signs, I've become an Aspie more openly. While umpiring a softball game (one of my part-time jobs I've managed to hold onto) I had to ask a handicapped lady to move her car out of the outfield. She refused claiming that her disability allowed her to park wherever. I offered to have someone move the car for her and she still refused. Finally I warned her that I would call the cops (which is standard procedure in a situation like that) and she accused me of not understanding disabilities, so I told her that I understand them very well. When she found out from another umpire I work with that I was autistic she went ballistic saying that I was faking it since I could talk to her and didn't look disabled. By this time I was heading for a shutdown and the other umpire knew this so he helped me deal with the woman. Now the team on which her daughter plays accuses me of abusing the system and being intolerant to real disabilities every time I umpire for them.

I've also had one of my classmates (who didn't know I was autistic) tell me that autism is "just a personality thing, no one really has it." Another one of my friends that I trusted heard about my diagnosis and commented that "it's only Aspergers, it's not that bad. You'll get over it." While I am very grateful my symptoms aren't as severe, it still hurts to have someone I trust not acknowledge that life can be very challenging.

I have never been accused of faking it. But then again, I got more severe HFA and seem to act nowhere near neurotypical according to others. Most people I know had a suspicion I had it before I was diagnosed.

It angers me that I have been accused of faking my Asperger's both in real life by people who met one or two people with AS and assume we're all the same, and on the internet, especially when I had a professional diagnosis. For a while I kept it private because I don't want people treating me differently or like I'm not competent because of BS they hear from organizations like Autism Speaks. Also some people don't understand it is possible to be autistic and also have psychiatric conditions. I may seem NT because I have adapted somewhat to society, enjoy parties once in a while and I enjoy dressing up and wearing makeup, may not share some common interests witj other Aspies. But my sensory overload issues and misinterpreting social cues get me in trouble. I end up being shunned by many NTs and other Aspies, and do not appreciate being called a p**** because I can't handle a lack of privacy and loud rap music that makes it extremely difficult for me to think and puts me in a constant state of panic. I am sick and tired of pretending to be NT and being ostracized by other Aspies. It's very depressing. I'm done explaining myself to NTs so I'll just tell them yes I'm autistic and no I don't consider it a tragedy. I wish more people would understand I'm not just making excuses to be rude, antisocial or lazy when really, being bombarded with constant pressure to act normal literally drives me crazy.

I can totally relate to this. I am in my forties and was diagnosed quite recently and for the reasons you describe haven't come out at work or to my parents or brothers. My husband and son know and 2 of my 3 close friends but that's all. Why ?because at this point in my life I am experienced enough to know what it would be like. Also I don't ask for any accomodations so I therefore won't tolerate listening to the unsolicited advice and opinions of people who know naff all about it. My young son has autism and I keep telling to walk tall and be proud of who he is but I feel this makes me a bit of a hypocrite as I am not doing the same.

I haven't been accused of faking my autism before, but I've been accused of "using my deafness for an excuse" by others before. A few years ago, my older cousin told me to stop using my deafness as an "excuse" when I had to ask him to repeat himself several times. I didn't respond well because it was during a time when my hearing started to go downhill and I was being bullied in school. I screamed and swore at him, insulted him and threw things at him before storming off.

No one has actually said this to me, but I fear someone will. What you described about pretending to be normal for so long and finally dropping the act is exactly what I'm going through. It took a long time to finally accept I'm autistic (was finally diagnosed last summer), and now I'm finally embracing who I really am. Being told I'm faking it would really really hurt.

I've had "leading questions" asked of me--indicating skepticism as to whether I am a Spectrumite.

As far as an outright accusation is concerned: never.

I can call myself a Spectrumite because I was definitely "classically autistic" (with a diagnosis) before I attained speech (when I was 5 1/2). There is no doubt in anybody's mind. I became Aspergian after I spoke.

At this point, without my history, I would probably be seen as skirting the line between being a full-fledged Spectrumite/being on the Broad Autism Phenotype.

With my history, I am a legit Spectrumite.