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What do you find confusing about the "NT World"?

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olympiadis
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26 Mar 2015, 2:20 pm

Whathappened wrote:
I've always sensed stuff like this was happening, but - it's just not something that gets talked about along the way. I resent feeling like I have to be a part of a hierarchy, when I could give a s**t about it. I guess most people don't have to or they just, figure it out. It's funny to read people saying things like this; things I've felt for my entire life but never have put to words.
I've always felt abused by people, too. I've always felt manipulated, kind and generous, only to be taken advantage of - told I'm really "nice" and have people basically discount and disregard me - as if I was some kind of social loser.


There are a lot of us here who feel this way.


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...there's no sense of backstabbing, untrust or manipulation that I get here in America, most of he time.
My hunch has always been, and I could be wrong - that it has to do with capitalism and how we're raised, always competing and striving to be on top. I've also thought that immigration and multiculturalism have something to do with the discordance here in society.


Yes, I believe our culture is a prime environment for psychopathy to thrive, and in fact many of our systems have evolved to encourage and reward psychopathy. We are taught to idolize psychopaths, and we have many traditions, TV shows, and movies that glorify psychopaths. Much of our population want to be like them.

Compassion and emotion are logical hinderances when competing with other people. Manipulative skills are the useful currency.



traven
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26 Mar 2015, 2:30 pm

olympiadis wrote:
dianthus wrote:
Or how men can say stuff really direct and to the point, and other people respond back like they are just having a normal conversation, but if I do the same thing people respond like they are put off or offended.


I'm male and I find that I don't get away with being direct, so perhaps it's something allowed more to charismatic males.
If so then this would mean the allowances are based on hierarchy and not sex. In fact it could be that all the points you made are primarily linked to position in hierarchy.

It could be that we generally do not recognize hierarchy, and so do not actively fight for a position in it, which would explain why others automatically place us at the bottom of their perceived hierarchy.

Basically the idea is that you have to "game" for power, or people just assume that you have no power.
The concept that everyone is human and should be treated equally is completely foreign to them, even though they may say the words.

yes,
olympiadis wrote:
Yes, I believe our culture is a prime environment for psychopathy to thrive, and in fact many of our systems have evolved to encourage and reward psychopathy. We are taught to idolize psychopaths, and we have many traditions, TV shows, and movies that glorify psychopaths. Much of our population want to be like them.

Compassion and emotion are logical hinderances when competing with other people. Manipulative skills are the useful currency.

that's how I see it too



Whathappened
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27 Mar 2015, 2:29 pm

I never really thought about it this way, but I suppose it makes sense. How sad....and scary.



genesis529
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28 Mar 2015, 9:53 am

Absolutely everything confuses me, but the main things I don't understand are why people seem to live for the sole purpose of impressing others, and the obsession people have with sex.



jimmyboy76453
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28 Mar 2015, 12:07 pm

The 'necessary' lies of our culture (I'm in America, btw).
Like this conversation (like between a bank teller or checkout clerk and a customer):
"Hi, how are you?"
"Fine, thank you. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Have a nice day."
"Thank you. You, too."
The only word that was not false in this was 'Hi' and what is worse is that both people know it!
1. Bank teller does not care how you are. You know they don't really want to know how you are.
2. You may or may not be fine, but that is the only answer you are allowed to give.
3. You do not care how bank teller is. Bank teller knows you don't really want to know how they are.
4. See #2.
5. Bank teller does not care whether you have a nice day but must wish it anyway. You know they do not care and that this wish is hollow. They know that your response is equally hollow because you do not care whether they have a nice day, either.

Everyone involved in the above conversation knows that everything being said is a lie, yet it must still be said. It's ridiculous. Necessary lies pervade many other areas as well, but I could go on for hours about it, so I'll stop here. :D


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rugulach
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28 Mar 2015, 12:10 pm

olympiadis wrote:

Compassion and emotion are logical hinderances when competing with other people. Manipulative skills are the useful currency.


Isn't it rich then that NTs characterize ASDers as lacking compassion and emotion?



DailyPoutine1
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28 Mar 2015, 12:11 pm

I'm confused by their lack of knowledge and how rudimentary their sense of humor is. I also don't get how they take advantage of certain situations without caring of how others are affected by their decisions.



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28 Mar 2015, 12:42 pm

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
I'm confused by ... how rudimentary their sense of humor is.


YES!! ! "Fart" is funny? Mentioning something sexual without putting it into any sort of context is supposed to be funny?? Annoying noises are supposed to be funny? Someone falling down or getting hit in the crotch with something is supposed to be funny?? Doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever.


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28 Mar 2015, 12:47 pm

jimmyboy76453 wrote:
DailyPoutine1 wrote:
I'm confused by ... how rudimentary their sense of humor is.


YES!! ! "Fart" is funny? Mentioning something sexual without putting it into any sort of context is supposed to be funny?? Annoying noises are supposed to be funny? Someone falling down or getting hit in the crotch with something is supposed to be funny?? Doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever.
Ikr theres that weird guy in my class who thinks he's so funny because he yells my name all distorted with a weird accent. I'm like "Oh stfu you idiot"



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28 Mar 2015, 7:45 pm

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
I'm confused by their lack of knowledge and how rudimentary their sense of humor is.


Yep! Like when a person wants to mock someone else, and all they do is repeat whatever the person said in a weird voice and it makes everyone laugh. Nothing clever or funny about it whatsoever.

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I also don't get how they take advantage of certain situations without caring of how others are affected by their decisions.


This too, and also how they don't realize how it will eventually backfire on them not to consider how it affects other people.



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28 Mar 2015, 7:48 pm

Greenhat wrote:
dianthus wrote:
I find it confusing how other people can be rude to me, and no one pays it any attention, but if I say something back to them, all of a sudden people act like I'm being a horrible b***h and the other person is totally innocent.


My guess is that the first one is because you're not in the in-group; you're not "normal", not "one of us", so you get less social leeway.


It's almost always because people use passive aggressiveness to be rude, and other people don't catch on to it.



ocelots
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28 Mar 2015, 10:17 pm

Edna3362 wrote:

-Simply they care about people who's sociable, not people with pure intent. Same goes with job interviews; sociability over skills. If sociability is paralleled to one another, it's on terms of social status and background. So yes, their life seems revolved on social status and sociability.



Yes this. People value superficiality over substance. Doesn't matter how competent and qualified you are for a job, you just have to be able to sell yourself.
I hate how people care so much about a person's image. You could be the worst person in the world, but as long as you're able to put on a show for people and impress them with some BS, you'll be more liked and more trusted than someone who's quiet but an actual good honest person.



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29 Mar 2015, 7:25 am

ocelots wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:

-Simply they care about people who's sociable, not people with pure intent. Same goes with job interviews; sociability over skills. If sociability is paralleled to one another, it's on terms of social status and background. So yes, their life seems revolved on social status and sociability.



Yes this. People value superficiality over substance. Doesn't matter how competent and qualified you are for a job, you just have to be able to sell yourself.
I hate how people care so much about a person's image. You could be the worst person in the world, but as long as you're able to put on a show for people and impress them with some BS, you'll be more liked and more trusted than someone who's quiet but an actual good honest person.


Yes, exactly. How they don't promote the guy who is the best at the job or who has the qualities to be good at the next job. Instead, we promote the popular person who isn't good at the job and is mediocre at best and sometimes downright incompetent. And I'm sitting there like, "Um, I thought the reason we come to work is TO WORK."


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jimmyboy76453
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29 Mar 2015, 7:38 am

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
jimmyboy76453 wrote:
DailyPoutine1 wrote:
I'm confused by ... how rudimentary their sense of humor is.


YES!! ! "Fart" is funny? Mentioning something sexual without putting it into any sort of context is supposed to be funny?? Annoying noises are supposed to be funny? Someone falling down or getting hit in the crotch with something is supposed to be funny?? Doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever.
Ikr theres that weird guy in my class who thinks he's so funny because he yells my name all distorted with a weird accent. I'm like "Oh stfu you idiot"


A friend once told me a joke and I didn't get it. I said, "Why is that funny?"
He said, "Because it sounds like 'penis.'"
Me: "Ok. But if you wanted to say 'penis,' why didn't you just say 'penis?'"
Him: "Because then it wouldn't be funny. It's only funny if it sounds like penis."
Me: "But 'penis' makes no sense. The sentence isn't about penises."
Him: "Right! That's what makes it funny!"
Me: "Why, again?"
Him: "Nevermind. You don't get it, that's ok."


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genesis529
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29 Mar 2015, 9:00 am

jimmyboy76453 wrote:
DailyPoutine1 wrote:
jimmyboy76453 wrote:
DailyPoutine1 wrote:
I'm confused by ... how rudimentary their sense of humor is.


YES!! ! "Fart" is funny? Mentioning something sexual without putting it into any sort of context is supposed to be funny?? Annoying noises are supposed to be funny? Someone falling down or getting hit in the crotch with something is supposed to be funny?? Doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever.
Ikr theres that weird guy in my class who thinks he's so funny because he yells my name all distorted with a weird accent. I'm like "Oh stfu you idiot"


A friend once told me a joke and I didn't get it. I said, "Why is that funny?"
He said, "Because it sounds like 'penis.'"
Me: "Ok. But if you wanted to say 'penis,' why didn't you just say 'penis?'"
Him: "Because then it wouldn't be funny. It's only funny if it sounds like penis."
Me: "But 'penis' makes no sense. The sentence isn't about penises."
Him: "Right! That's what makes it funny!"
Me: "Why, again?"
Him: "Nevermind. You don't get it, that's ok."


I don't get it either.



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29 Mar 2015, 10:01 am

jimmyboy76453 wrote:
DailyPoutine1 wrote:
jimmyboy76453 wrote:
DailyPoutine1 wrote:
I'm confused by ... how rudimentary their sense of humor is.


YES!! ! "Fart" is funny? Mentioning something sexual without putting it into any sort of context is supposed to be funny?? Annoying noises are supposed to be funny? Someone falling down or getting hit in the crotch with something is supposed to be funny?? Doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever.
Ikr theres that weird guy in my class who thinks he's so funny because he yells my name all distorted with a weird accent. I'm like "Oh stfu you idiot"


A friend once told me a joke and I didn't get it. I said, "Why is that funny?"
He said, "Because it sounds like 'penis.'"
Me: "Ok. But if you wanted to say 'penis,' why didn't you just say 'penis?'"
Him: "Because then it wouldn't be funny. It's only funny if it sounds like penis."
Me: "But 'penis' makes no sense. The sentence isn't about penises."
Him: "Right! That's what makes it funny!"
Me: "Why, again?"
Him: "Nevermind. You don't get it, that's ok."

Back in elementary school (in the NTs' defense, we were all very young), there was one joke everyone was telling. It went like this:
Joker: Why were you under there?
Victim: Under where?
Joker: Ha-ha! You said "underwear"!

I didn't get it.