to aspies: is your mother narcissistic?

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No, but she have Stubborn-as-a-mule personality disorder.

Definitely not. The word narcissist is handed out like candy on the internet these days, and while she has her shortcomings she's definitely not narcissistic.

My mom is an extrovert, likes trends, stereotypes, is socially and financially motivated at sometimes, an occasional flirt like my sister, really assertive, likes compliments, but not narcissistic.
She knows what I want/need, her priorities are on me and my sister and is listening to me whenever I tried telling her things about the spectrum. She knows her own limits well enough not to go overly confident.

Oh, God----I can't BEGIN to tell you how much it sickens me, to hear this..... Being physically abused by a relative is one of the WORST things, in the world (another of my sisters used to abuse our mother----something one doesn't hear-about, as often----I remember seeing her slam a rotary phone down on her back, and knocking her down on the bed [that sister is ALSO extremely spoiled-rotten])!

Sending you peace----MORE peace (as it seems like you've already found some)----and ((((HUGS))))! !

Thank you!

That's horrible what your sister did...slamming a rotary phone on her? Some of the younger folks here might not realize how heavy those phones used to be.

I think my mother was trying to set me up to make it look like I abuse her. She knows how to push my buttons and make me angry. I've been wondering for a long time if she was doing it on purpose. I know for sure now.

My dad was physically abusive to me when I was a kid. I've mentioned that here a lot of times, but what I haven't talked about is how my mother had a way of putting him up to it. She never really tried to stop it or do anything to protect me. And sometimes she was right in there hitting me too. But she would turn around and call her mother and say that HE did it.

My dad has long since taken responsibility for the things he did. He says there was no excuse for it and I know that he sincerely regrets it. I forgave him a long time ago. However my mother has never shown any real regret for anything I went through growing up. She has an incredibly self-righteous attitude about it which has puzzled me for years.

My dad was also physically abused growing up and what he went through was horrific. One time many years ago my mom brought that up and said how awful it was that his mother never did anything to get my dad and his sister away from it. I was blown away. She acted like she didn't even realize that she might apply the same criticism to herself too, until I pointed it out to her. Then she said she was sorry about it, but for some reason it struck me as phony. That's the only time I recall her showing any kind of regret.

My mother apologized to me for attacking me last week. But when she said she was sorry??? She had a SMILE on her face and put on an innocent little girl demeanor. It turned my stomach. She is passing it off like it was an accident and she didn't mean to do it. Her sister backed that up too. My aunt said that my mother was trying to stop me from hurting myself. lol I called BS on that.

I was really stunned to see how they played off each other and tried to manipulate me. The scary thing is, it almost worked. I mean I was standing there in a daze, actually doubting my own perceptions of what happened. The only thing that snapped me back to reality, was that I had scratch marks on my face and my neck was bleeding.

I'm guessing they have successfully manipulated me lots of times about things I had no physical evidence of, or simply knew nothing about.

Listen, dianthus, I don't have time to address this, right now----cuz I wanna give it my undivided attention, and I don't have time right now, cuz I gotta go out----I just wanted to letcha know I'd seen it, and will respond, ASAP!!

Not even close.