Joe90 wrote:
I'm scared to tell people because of their negative reactions to it. The only people who are ''allowed'' to know by me is my doctor and my employment advisors. I don't like to tell all of my friends, even though it will make life easier for me, in the long run. But there's just something about it that I feel afraid of, and I can't quite put my finger on why I feel so afraid. I mean, surely they like me for who I am. Why would their thoughts change about me after so long, just because I've told them that I have a disability? Having a disability may seem shameful to me, but to them it might just be the same as somebody telling them that they have asthma or diabetis. They wouldn't think any less of them then, so why would they feel any less of me just because I have a disability? But I just still feel embarrassed and shy to tell them. I mean, if I'm good at hiding it, I think is it that worth telling them about it? Or shall I tell them that I just have some learning difficulties, and any social misconduct I do might just make them think that it's associated with my learning difficulties, since I'm generally so good at hiding my AS that I don't show enough AS to make people think of AS, if that makes sense. I know they don't. It's just that if I did start telling everybody that I have AS, and they ask what it is and I have to explain, they might take it a bit seriously and assume that I get too overly sensitive and anxious quick, and they might start speaking to me like I'm a baby, or they might think, ''oh, glad I ain't got that!'' and so on. Just little thoughts start swirling round in my head, making me keep quiet about my AS.
Does anyone else feel like this?
I feel this way all the time. I am afraid if I tell them, they will use it to describe me and make all these assumptions about me. I am afraid they might say I don't have it and not take me seriously because I don't fit their profile about autism. I feel I am too mild to tell them so I don't see the point. Sometimes I want to just tell them to make them feel like a dumb ass for how they were treating me because they didn't believe me about my honest mistake I made. But I am also afraid what if it had nothing to do with ASD and it was just them with the problem, not me? What if my mistake had nothing to do with my ASD? Then I have embarrassed myself.