Omg thoughts of suicide I do not go a single day without being like omg,this sucks so bad lets all just kill ourselfs wooooo! like seriouslyIits messed up.im right there with you my parents use to beat me with furniture,and bricks,one time my mother strangled me with a chord to make me stop crying(sweet memories)you need to find your nich in life,for me it was writing,I discovered the barrier of paper to people was my first step to stepping up in life.find out what interests you as a person and go with it,even if its something like earth worms,or scary stuff,making music,or working in a box factory idk.your life is just as important and meaningful as anyone elses,my high school one kid use to touch my man chest and scream titties,so I lifed weights and one day punched him,got suspended then wrote the newspaper about how my school was allowing sexual harasment. we all tend to get bullied,some more than others,what I find most important is you really have to look at yourself and ask what about me makes me proud? even if every day people talk down to you think,what makes me awesome? sounds like you are quite confident about your inteligence?well what is it that you like to focus your inteligence on? and go with it like a comet,dont let anything stop you from igniting that passion,people only bring you down when theythemselfs are feeling down,buddah said you cannot truly love unless you first love yourself,food for thought