I was first given diazepam in 1975 and I didn't want to take it. The doctor got really annoyed with me so I started taking it. 5mg three times a day, I was 20. I was in such a state of anxiety with constant panic attacks all day and waking me up at night. I was experiencing them one after the other and I thought I was going to die. My dosage was then put up to three 10mg per day, it helped slightly. I went back to the doctor and saw a locum who told me if one wasn't working then just take another one. So I did. Since then I started to take more and more and after years of this yet another doctor cut them off dead. Within 2 days I thought I was going mad. My mum is really anti-alcohol and she even went out and bought me a bottle of drink to calm me down. I was then allowed a limited dose but only under my mum's supervision; Hang on a minute - who started all this doctor?
I've since had my dosage cut down, put up again when I can't cope and every visit to the doctor ends up in a row over my diazepam intake and his reluctance to supply it and my reluctance to cope without it. That's right! I'm still taking it 35 years later. 2mgs three times a day and a limited supply of 5mgs for the really bad times. I also take beta-blockers to prevent migraine (they don't work) and Prozac which doesn't do much either except make the migraines worse.
I don't ever want to stop taking diazepam and it's a constant worry to me in case I run out or can't get anymore. I admit I needed them in the beginning because I wasn't coping at all but I wish I'd never heard of them. I don't know what would have happened to me without them, I don't think I'd be here, but I'm not particularly enjoying being here now and so reliant on something out of my control. The problem is I'm still in a state of constant anxiety and worry and don't see why I should have to suffer this when there is something I can take to relieve it.
I don't buy the addiction thing, if you need something to survive then you need it, so what? We get hungry, we eat. We get thirsty, we drink. We get anxious, we take something. We don't all over-eat, over-drink and over-medicate. Sometimes we can and should be allowed to get by on what we need. I was under the impression it was my life but it doesn't feel like it anymore.
Would I take that first diazepam again? Knowing what I know now ? I doubt it but I honestly don't know . There wasn't much of an option then really. They work - but they can also make life hard work.
It depends how bad you feel - but really think it through.
Tiffinity.
Also, I had an operation two years ago and the pre-med didn't work because I'm so used to diazepam even though I'd been told to take 7mgs of diazepam before I went to the hospital for surgery that morning, and even then it did nothing. Just a thought.
Tiffinity.
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