Why do I never heed advice from anyone?

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For example, whatever advice I'm given, I never take.

I once had a psychiatrist to give me advice on life, but I never
followed the advice, and my mom had to pull me away from her because she was paying her too much for advice I didn't heed.

I don't know why I never heed the advice advice from others. I feel like it's because I don't WANT TO. I want to stop not wanting to, but for some reason I can't.

I feel like it's something subconscious that's preventing me from wanting to get better. Like, some form of ESP or something.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! !! !! !! !! If I'm just going to keep having selective thoughts all my life, not heed advice from anyone, and have something or other prevent me from WANTING to get better, then, I just don't know what to do anymore.

I have Asperger's Syndrome.

What do I do!?

You probably don't believe the advice is going to help you because you doubt the psychiatrist really knows how you feel. Or perhaps you just don't understand how following the advice could help you because you cannot imagine the long term change. Or maybe you think that following the advice is too troublesome and stressing. Or you just have no idea how to start.

I am also like that. I need to fully understand and agree with someone advice before I am able to follow it. I am way more prone to following what strategy I figure out by myself than anything someone else tells me to - no matter how much of a specialist he is.

That's why I ask a lot of questions when someone gives me advice and I also have a habit of leading people to their own answers when I am giving them advice.

For example when I taught my little cousin math I was saying: "Got any idea how to solve it? No? How many apples is there? And how many people? So how would you count how many apples everyone gets while knowing that? Interesting idea. Let's try it. Does the answer seem accurate? I also don't think it does. Any other ideas? OK. Try it. Good. Now the answer seems accurate, doesn't it?" instead of saying "You just have to divide the number of apples by number of people.".

I wish people could do it too when they explain something to me. But no. They won't try to lead me to an answer - they will tell me a way out and say "Just do as I say and everything is going to be fine". I can't follow advice I don't fully understand.

Perhaps taking advice would mean change, and you don't like change, or perhaps the advice is to expend effort and you don't want to, or perhaps you are finding small faults in the advice and using that as reason to dismiss it entirely, or perhaps you are trying harder to defend how you got where you are now than you are trying to get somewhere else, or perhaps you don't recognize the authority of the person offering the advice. I find that asperger folk are very critical and doubtful, and advice is generally met with resistance, for one or more of those reasons.