Executive function- mine's terrible. How does it effect you?

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Just one more thought -- I have gotten a LOT better recently by getting rid of my junk and simplifying my life. I saw this book on another autism forum two months ago and I have now reduced the clutter in my life (not just physical objects) by more than half. It frees up my brain significantly:

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up
http://www.amazon.com/The-Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering/dp/1607747308

Some folks on the other forum were speculating the author (Japanese -- the whole thing is very shinto/Japanesey) is on the spectrum. Whether she is or not, she made cleaning up and decluttering her special interest from kindergarten age. I think that's pretty cool.

Well, my room's a mess, I forget things easily, I stay up all night and sleep most of the day without doing anything productive... yeah, my executive functioning sucks.

It was E.F. problems that started my search into ASDs. Throughout my life since college, I had come across many lists of ASD traits, due to my education background. I always had *many* on the list, but I ignored the hint that I might have a form of autism because I didn't have certain traits, like delayed language, etc. I didn't know anything about Aspergers at the time. Years later, it was suggested to me that my son might have Aspergers, but again he didn't have *all* the traits, and I didn't realize then that one doesn't need to have *all* the traits to be on the spectrum. I never got him tested...

Then at age 35, after being married so long and trying numerous approaches to housekeeping and organizing and so forth, I got really fed up. I woke up one day and said to myself, "I am a smart woman. If this was simply an issue of being able to learn something, I'd be able to do it. Maybe I have some kind of disability."

One thing led to another, and here I am. I found, also, that once I started looking at ASD traits in FEMALES, my world changed. And it IS helpful to know that you have a reason for being the way you are. I no longer beat myself up over these difficulties. They still cause me problems, but I can accept *myself*. I no longer feel like I simply must try harder or be a better person to get this stuff under control.

This is exactly how it is with me. Sometimes (often) I just can't bear to do anything.

I can't keep my house clean I am working on it at the moment as it has to be sold this means I normally forget to do the laundry for work. Or I wash it and forget to take it out of the machine to dry. My EF apart from this I think is good. Brushing teeth is one other thing that has to be set in routine. At work its easy I cycle in shower at work and the toothbrush comes out as I am doing he skin care stuff weekends I frequently forget unless I am going somewhere special.

I am trying to regain the habit of sorting my food for work out at home (cheaper and healthier) managed 4 breakfasts and one lunch this week next week aim is all breakfasts and 2 lunches. Little steps little changes become habits much easier than bigger ones

My executive functioning skills are terrible. I have also been a BIG procrastinator lately. Anybody here procrastinate and wait until the last minute to do things? That's why I didn't do too well last semester at college. I waited until last minute for assignments and had no concept of starting the assignment early to give me enough time to complete it on the due date. That's why online classes can sometimes be difficult for me. I have difficulty housekeeping and taking care of my basic hygiene or personal care. Not so much that I need assistance but I do need support with some things. It seems like a lot of us have difficulty in the executive functioning area.

I'm quite prone to procrastination as well.

I have similar memory and planning problems as everyone else described.

Is "emotional regulation" under executive functioning too? My biggest problem is how I tend to feel emotional resistance (stress, sadness, anxiety, or frustration) toward almost any kind of task or responsibility. Basically, I'm incredibly lazy, except lazy people normally expect some kind of benefit from their laziness.

I'm going to re-paste this quote from a book that I really sympathyze with: (Hyperbole and a Half, related to the blog of the same name.)

"One of the most terrifying things that has ever happened to me was watching myself decide over and over again--thirty-five days in a row--to not return a movie I had rented. Everyday, I saw it sitting there on the arm of my couch. And everyday, I thought, I should really do something about that... and then I just didn't.

"After a week, I started to worry it was never going to happen, but I thought, Surely I have more control over my life than this. Surely I wouldn't allow myself to NEVER return the movie."

Then the cartoon picture of herself, standing next to the movie and couch, looking glum, thinking, "...I wouldn't just... NOT do something this easy, right?"

Then there's a few pages of cartoons of her arguing with herself about putting away a plate she had food on three days ago.

I don't know, but I think mine is pretty bad.

I am terrible at time management, tend to procrastinate, and get disorganised very easily when I'm stressed.
Especially when I'm in a depressed mood too. The other day, on my way to work, I forgot my money and my food.
I somewhat often forget important things and then remember a bit too late, and it ends up costing me more time and/or money (plus frustration).

My emotional/mental/physical state impacts on my level of abilities, basically anxiety inducing stress as well as leading to depression, makes my EF worse.

I really struggle to be organized, I enjoy life a bit more when I am, but getting there is the problem. It’s a skill to be practiced. Planning and organizing was my cornerstone once, I’m trying to do as I did before, but I can’t seem to do it in a structured way. Procrastination is a problem for me too.

Leaving the house on time has always been stressful. To offset this I now try to leave 20-30 minutes earlier than necessary, because I forget even more things than I did before, which adds to the stress, but if I have a time allowance for these things I’m less likely to become very stressed, and my brain cogs won’t seize up.

My attention span has deteriorated, sometimes I feel pain in my head when trying to focus on mundane tasks, and need to take regular breaks to let it ease. If I’m doing something practical that I enjoy, it has a relaxing effect, and I don’t want to stop. Again I view this as a skill that I have to practice, if I want it to improve.

I have a more noticeable time delay now switching between tasks, sometimes I it feels like the cogs are just stuck.
I can remember the shape of someone’s unremarkable nose, but often I won’t remember something useful, my memory is abysmal by comparison to a few years ago.

I have foot in mouth syndrome, saying and doing the wrong thing; thankfully it’s not as bad now as it was a year ago, but it’s still difficult to regulate it, when I am relaxed as well as stressed, I am much more likely to say something inappropriate.

I can’t seem to access previously acquired skills.
There are more... I can’t remember them now, lol. I struggled with these things all my life, but since the last bout of depression I realized that I had been using ‘offsetting strategies’, and not innate abilities. They are skills that I have to practice to regain them.

Reading these replies is like looking at my life

I leave everything until it's too late. I end up sorting it out but I never make it easy for myself.

I don't do foot in mouth so much as get the comment 'too much information' more regularly than alot of people. I don't do clothes really I have a small idea of what suits me but suffer from anxiety every time I try to go out more smartly dressed or just differently dressed form my normal uniform. So I tend to always be on the scruffy side compared to the rest of the world

this is the part of my ASD that i struggle with the most and the part that turns me from a HFA to almost incapable of living a normal life. I am HFA all the time that my EF is in check and i totally relate to the person who said this fluctuates with stress and anxiety factors.

for my, it is all about the shift set.. i cannot focus on more than one thing at a time and i am instantly all at sea if more than one person talks to me at once or even if there are other noises around me when someone tries to speak to me. i cannot manage time - i do not have any ability to estimate how long a task will take and to cope with this I now grossly OVER estimate how long things take to the point of absurdity - for example if it takes 20 minutes to get somewhere, i will leave 2-3 hours early. this makes me really dysfunctional! it also affects me with cooking and many other things where balancing time is the skill needed. i hate how poor my EF is as i feel like it affects so much of my potential to leading a normal life. i cannot live independently due to this



to cope with it i have to have structure to the max, lists, notes, cues, visual aids and then even those things become an obsession which backfires.. urgh
nice to see a post about this as there doesn;t seem to be much understanding about how complex it can be and how many layers of life it creeps in to, makes me want to tear off my head at times

I so strongly relate to Raf_19's post and to all the other replies. Someone said reading this thread is like reading about their own life -- me too.

Yes, emotional regulation is part of EF. I also struggle in that area.

The book "Smart But Scattered" talks about EF and strategies for getting better, but it is really designed for NT parents helping their child. It does no good for an AS adult who has to supervise themselves. However, the descriptions in the book of all the subsets of EF are helpful.

I relate very much to the video story.

I was once banned from a library because I returned books so late that I racked up a $100 fine, which I couldn't afford to pay at the time. We moved before I had the money to pay it and have borrowing privileges restored.

At the library here, I have paid so many late fines that my husband jokes that a wing could be built in our honor. Now, he takes care of the library so we don't have to have "library fines" as a category in our monthly budget. When I knew my fines were going to be hefty, I'd ask the librarian to write down the figure on a slip because sometimes other patrons would overhear the figure and look at me and make comments. I so wish I could have retorted, "Shut up! I'm doing the library some good right now!" But, instead, I would always freeze and feel embarrassed. The feeling of embarrassment and shame is the very thing that would often keep me from returning the late books in the first place. (The librarian was used to me, and kind - it was the other patrons that I was afraid of being exposed in front of.)

Most of this resonates with me particularly estimating how long a task will take. People are always asking me to give a time estimate especially in employment situations and I can't give a coherent answer. I also am the type of person who if I do not do something right away either it won't get done or will get done weeks, months later.

I do find calender programs a help. Just the act of writing it in the calendar is a reminder.

All that is described here is my natural state. But if I do focused, deliberate actions that take up my whole brain, then I get a benefit the next day or so where I can focus more easily.

Things that induce this state are similar to mindfulness meditation. I did graduate studies in Chinese religions and I've become critical of meditation, especially as a cure-all, but I think many things can give this same effect without it being "meditation."

For me, zentangle -- goofy as it is -- does it. So does focusing on to do items with extreme focus -- so much it's almost painful. I sat down and just DID all of the things I had been avoiding for months and years: decluttering all my stuff, reading through and purging even my old journals, and also handling all the countless "To Do" items I had just never done. It was not easy at all. It required me, every minute or so, to say "no! we're going to do this!" to myself and lots of deep breathing and stimming -- and talking myself through the steps. It also took much longer than it would take anyone else I think -- like, ten minutes to pay a single bill, with lots of anxiety. I think my hands were shaking at one point. I did this when my husband was out for a few hours on a weekend, several weekends in a row (he's in the 501st and is helping some friends build some Storm Trooper armor). I'm not 100% done, but I am MUCH closer to being done -- just a handful of weekends left to go until I've finished.

Whenever I do this, it is REALLY hard, but it also has an effect for a few days where I am able to think clearly, be productive, and even -- I am NOT kidding -- be more sociable, at my social best. I'm experimenting now to see what I can get away with -- once a week? How many hours? Can I just do an hour a day of zentangle or whatever or do I have to spend a whole Saturday meticulously sorting through things?

Anyway, just passing it along. I think this is a kind of brain training thing and if it works for me, it might work for someone else.

Oh, for an fMRI machine. I have only vague guesses at what is going on here. Neurology is not my special interest.