I don't understand this whole "stuck-up" thing.

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Exactly.

I've always hated this, too. I get called stuck up by family members who make frequent, casually racist comments about others. Yet, I'm supposed to believe I'm a "snob."

I get this sometimes. Besides being shy, I actually am aloof, and some people take that personally. Fortunately I live an area where introversion is more normal and expected, and people are less inclined to criticize you to your face, so I'm guessing I don't have to deal with it as much as a lot of you guys do. (People from other parts of the country think our entire metropolitan area is stuck-up.) Other than participating a bit extra in small talk that other people initiate, I pretty much be myself, and people usually end up deciding I'm nice because of tangible acts of friendliness, e.g. they'll complain to their more charismatic coworker about their headache, but I'll be the one popping my head over the cubicle wall to offer them a choice of ibuprophen or Tylenol. (I was less popular in school because drugs weren't allowed.) I once had someone straight up say, "I used to think you were a snob but it turns out you're actually nice!" and I think that's a popular opinion about me.

There's a limit to how unsnobbish you can appear, because of this:



People almost always consider themselves as being as nice/kind/ethical as anyone can be. If they see someone else acting kinder, they figure there must be an ulterior motive, and one such motive is snobbery. Like, they think vegetarians are only vegetarians so they can look down on the meateaters, and any ethical concerns about the animals has nothing to do with it. If someone refrains from criticizing a person with a problem that someone else thinks they deserve criticism for, they are just faking that "there but for the grace of God go I" attitude so they they can condescend to the bullies.

I'm stuck-up. I don't want anything to do with most of the human race, or their big noisy parties, their sports, fashions, religions, schmoose, judgementalism, lying and cheating, bad grammar, superficiality, celebrity worship, armed forces worship, patriotism, alcohol worship, moral certainty, daft social rules, acceptance of capitalism, cruelty to animals, gender-binary mindset, the half-baked results they're content with.........I know I'm not perfect, but really! If I have to accept that stuff, I'd like to remain a snob please. Weird thing is, my social style is uncommonly genial and familiar, with the right people.

I'm stuck-up. I don't want anything to do with most of the human race, or their big noisy parties, their sports, fashions, religions, schmoose, judgementalism, lying and cheating, bad grammar, superficiality, celebrity worship, armed forces worship, patriotism, alcohol worship, moral certainty, daft social rules, acceptance of capitalism, cruelty to animals, gender-binary mindset, the half-baked results they're content with.........I know I'm not perfect, but really! If I have to accept that stuff, I'd like to remain a snob please. Weird thing is, my social style is uncommonly genial and familiar, with the right people.

The "stuck up" thing is a social tool that others use on an individual to pressure them into conforming to what they want.

They can sense that you aren't willing to play their game of hierarchy with them, validate their social status, or allow them to invalidate you.

Basically, you just aren't being openly social.

When I was in High School, I was told that I would walk around school with my head tilted up slightly. It was nothing I was aware of. But, apparently people thought I did this on purpose, because I was “stuck up”.

I don't really know how to smile. Like do I just walk around smiling 100% of the time? I don't usually see people doing that.

The "stuck up" thing is a social tool that others use on an individual to pressure them into conforming to what they want.

They can sense that you aren't willing to play their game of hierarchy with them, validate their social status, or allow them to invalidate you.

Basically, you just aren't being openly social.