Reasons why you don't like eye contact

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Because I feel I would look like a creep doing so. I film myself sometimes staring at a camera for practice but I just look awkward. So, what I do is look at their mouths and it's helped.

1. It requires huge amounts of brain power to initiate and sustain, this is to say if I am making eye contact it is the only thing on which I can concentrate at that moment. Since I already have difficulty processing information in a verbal format, making eye contact with a person while the person is speaking means I likely won't be able to understand what he/she is saying.

2. The longer I hold the eye contact, the more my body seems to tense in an incredibly uncomfortable manner. It's difficult to explain the way the tensing feels, but I think a reasonable analog would be holding one's breath. For a very short period of time (a coupe of seconds) it's not too terrible, but it becomes very difficult quickly, and after not very long I come to a point where I know I won't be able to do it any longer.

I don't know, it just feels like there's too much there. When I look into someone's eyes for more than a second or two its like I'm supposed to be seeing more than I am, like they're trying to see something in me that I'm not comfortable sharing. It's just feels wrong. It's a little better with someone I know and trust, but even then I generally look slightly aside.

Because eyes look predatory to me, like some carnivorous animal's.

I even have trouble looking myself in the eyes in the mirror. For years, I could only look at someone's chin or forehead and hope that they couldn't tell the difference. I gradually worked my way up to looking at their nose or eyebrows. I've only generally been able to look people in the eyes in the last 10 years or so, and if I'm nervous or don't know them well, i find my eyes keep flicking off to one side.

I can't seem to keep track of what people are saying, I can listen better if I'm looking away from them, if I make eye contact my mind just wanders off its like a go into some sort of scary trance

I can't think and make eye contact at the same time. If someone asks me a question I have to look away in order to think of an answer. Maybe this isn't even AS specific. It has a lot to do with being a visual thinker. I will make eye contact briefly if I want to communicate something with my eyes though. I just don't stare as long as most NTs do. I spend much more time looking off to the side thinking of what to say next. If I do stare it's because I'm pissed off.

When conversing, I must tell myself "Look at the eyes, look at the eyes".

If I don't, I end up staring at their mouth.

Much like others have said, I don't do much eye contact because it doesn't come naturally to me. I don't really know the appropriate timing, and I feel at risk of staring for too long, which could be taken as a threat-stare or a sexual stare. And eye-contact feels rather pointless to me, though intellectually I suppose I could pick up something about the person's mood if I occasionally glanced at their face. The whole business reeks of trying to fit in with a style that just isn't me, which seems kind of undignified. Also I think it's a distraction from the main task of focussing on what the person is saying. If by avoiding eye contact I fail to reassure them that I'm paying attention, they'll presumably soon realise that I was, when what I say to them proves it.

I just look at their nose and let my eyes unfocus. They don't seem to notice. I even saw this recommended as a way to lie without getting intimidated in the spy show "The Americans." I was like, I've been doing that all my life!



I've learned how to read body language and facial expressions really well (I do great on all the tests)...but none of this translates to face-to-face contact. I lose access to that part of my brain. I rely as best I can on word choice and voice tone. And also theory of mind...I mean, seriously autistic children lag at developing it, but that doesn't mean we never get it.

But I'm basically there, treading water, every conversation: I'm unfocusing my eyes while looking at their nose and filling in the blanks from their end of the conversation from what I don't get from voice tone and word choice based on my ToM skills. They have no idea how hard I work.

No wonder I tense up when people come to talk to me and shake after they leave, even if it was a pleasant conversation.

Some people -- the goodnatured type who tells lots of jokes -- is just too much of a minefield. I am cold to them to discourage further conversation, even though I like them. Although I hate to disappoint them -- they want everyone to like them -- it's physically painful to go through a conversation with them.

I've never felt the need, like many others. Honestly, it hurts. Every time I look into someone's eyes, it's like get a laser cutter to the brain and I freak out. Even when I did, I barely perceived emotion in them. People never mention it, but when they ask, I say I like how their nose looks.
I can make eye contact with certain people. I can look at my siblings and make complete eye contact with them (no laser pain) but I generally have no clue what's on their minds. Contrasting this, I can make eye contact with other autistics and generally recognize if they are autistic (it's weird but I'll bet I'll be wrong some day. I can also do it with siblings of autistics ) and able to interpret their emotions because I can understand why or how they might feel that way. I can also make eye contact with romantic partners, though I had 1, there's also another girl who didn't date me for age reasons that I can still do this with them.
TL;DR: I hate it and have some quirky traits on it.

I have to consciously look at peoples eyes and so my brain can't process what they're telling me.

I'm always afraid that I'll give eye contact incorrectly. Sometimes women smile at me and give eye contact and I don't know how to reciprocate other than by smiling awkwardly and looking away from them. I actually really enjoyed eye contact when I was in a relationship before, but only once I felt comfortable with her.

My grandpa used to force me to look him in the eyes when he lectured me. It would feel painful, and I couldn't process anything he would say verbally or non-verbally. Eventually I felt numb, like my brain would shut down. I had teachers do this to me all the time as well. Rapid Desensitization/Flooding?

I tend to give very brief split second eye contact during pauses in a conversation with a person. If I feel anxious about a person I tend to avoid eye contact completely. If I'm very angry with someone, I tend to give them a lot of eye contact or none at all depending on if they are in my way somehow or if I can go another direction.

Yes that's a good description of it. I can pick up quite a lot of emotion cues from faces and bodies, but NOT if I have to hold a coherent conversation at the same time. I have a sneaking suspicion than NTs are sometimes much more interested in conveying emotion than conveying words, and that I'd do better to completely ignore what they're saying and focus on their feelings instead, but I daren't take the risk.


Don't know if this is the same, but I can get very tense if somebody launches into a joke with that "this is really funny, you'll laugh your head off about this." Problem is, often I either don't get the joke, or the joke isn't strong enough to make me laugh, and I don't like forcing a laugh. I doubt that I can do that credibly, and it makes me feel fake. So it's really embarrassing and I worry that I'm going to disappoint them. Interestingly, when I make jokes, I usually use a deadpan style so that if they don't get it, there's no pressure on them to give the right response.

I have this irrational fear that making and maintaining eye contact with another will be misinterpreted as staring.

I fall in love with everybody I look at.

pls explain why