Misery wrote:
Yeah, loneliness seems to go with the territory.
I have close friends, but lately I dont hear from them nearly as often. Currently, my interests and theirs dont mesh well whatsoever; we're all into gaming, but I tend to be into very different genres than all of them and whatever game they're into at the time usually looks like garbage to me. I dont get much contact from them right now either; there isnt much to talk about right now, and if I at all get into a conversation about stuff and get whatsoever negative (and NOT being negative is damn near impossible for me) it tends to annoy, and the conversation ends kinda fast. That one, I can understand... I dont mean to be so negative all the time, aint like I do it on purpose, but it's there. So lately, aint much talking at all. Granted they also work, and I do not, so their ability to send texts and stuff (main method of communication for much of the week) is pretty darn limited during the night, except for the two nights they're off. And I cant think up all that much to say half the time, particularly being bored out of my mind lately which just makes me even less talkative. So I end up feeling kinda excluded as a result.
It's pretty annoying. Though I'm well aware that my mood makes it alot worse, but I'm just so tired of this stupid house, ugh... a bit stir-crazy lately, but there's nowhere to go. Well, nowhere that actually has a point. Just going to supermarkets doesnt really count.
I don't understand why people are bothered by "negativity". I've had friends apologize to me saying that they were being negative while talking to me, and it never bothered me. I'm just not affected when people vent. I actually like it when people use me to vent.
But, when I start talking about something "negative", people get annoyed when I'm just trying to be friendly and talk with them, and it makes me feel upset. The way I see it, they are being negative by getting angry with me for that.
I'm not trying to hurt anyone when I speak negatively, I'm just trying to provide as much detail as possible so that they would understand my perspective for the sake of friendly conversation. I don't want people to feel bad for me, it doesn't help me. I'm not trying to manipulate anyone, that would make me feel ashamed.
Most of the time, I just don't know what to say to people, so I say whatever is on my mind, or say something random hoping that it will have a positive effect, or just say nothing. I can never guess how people will respond, they are very unpredictable.