Why are so many autistic people unattractive?

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Raleigh
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08 Aug 2015, 4:02 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
i like cheese

I like cheese too. Finally, something we can agree on.

There's certain types cheese that most people find unpalatable. So why are those cheeses still in existence?
Because there are people who are connoisseurs and appreciate the unusual flavour of the cheese. Those cheeses end up becoming more valuable and sought after than the 'common' cheeses that everyone likes.
Most of these cheeses are very unattractive and, quite frankly, they stink.
And people love them.

:?: I've forgotten what point I was trying to make. :?:

Oh yeah. I like cheese.


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Swiper
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08 Aug 2015, 5:18 pm

I think that I'm pretty average looking and definitely not in shape (due to injuries).

I don't have a problem with getting NT women to like me. I have been married. Last year I slept with five different women without making any real effort to date. For whatever reason, I'm like a magnet for NT women between 30 and 60. Apparently, I'm intelligent, funny, sweet, compassionate, interesting, and charmingly quirky in their eyes.

Unfortunately, NT women exhausts me. They just want too much attention from me and I can't keep up with their wants and needs. I would like starting to date autistic girls instead, but I have no idea on how to get autistic girls to like me. The irony isn't lost on me.


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starfox
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08 Aug 2015, 5:55 pm

Hmm prob because of how some autistics hold their bodies/posture, how they dress, how they speak and act makes you seem more or less atractive also, not washing, additional disabilities or deformities, not keeping fit, just not having won the genetic lottery.
I try to look my best and I do dress nice and wash and stuff but I'd say I'm not as pretty as other girls.


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nomoretears
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08 Aug 2015, 7:19 pm

Define attractive.

I can be physically appealing, but i turn guys off in other ways. Im not very feminine. I say weird stuff, and im into weird stuff. I probably have ocd. I like being alone a lot. Im shy abd socially awkward.



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09 Aug 2015, 12:28 am

Why should those undiagnosed autistics with jobs etc "flying under the radar" not count?


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09 Aug 2015, 1:15 am

I don't know, I've done OK myself and I tend to prefer the appearance of Aspies to stereotyped fashion models and movie stars, so I don't know where the OP is coming from with his assumption. Seems to be a rather convoluted, "logical" argument about a very subjective matter. If the beholder has been influenced by some hive-mind canon of "good visual taste," I think I'd rather not be attractive to them. It'd be like having a free insect repellent.



Dillogic
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09 Aug 2015, 2:26 am

They're autistic (hence, disabled)?

Most people don't want to take on a burden.



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09 Aug 2015, 2:50 am

I dunno about the rest of you, but I'm fat and ugly on purpose. You didn't have the opposite sex getting down your pants at 12 years old. You didn't have parents that actively discouraged you from having a girlfriend, let alone any friends. You didn't grow up being paranoid, having an undiagnosed bipolar mother and an emotionally stunted father. And people wonder why I'm such a jackass?



Joe90
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09 Aug 2015, 3:32 am

I thought I've seen countless threads here saying that Aspies are more attractive?

The contradictions that go on here drive me mad.


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Skibz888
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09 Aug 2015, 4:04 am

darkphantomx1 wrote:
If you start watching what you eat, do some aerobic exercise, and start lifting weight, it will improve your appeal to the opposite sex. Start combing your hair and putting on nice clothes as well.


Wait, that stuff attracts the opposite sex? Oh, man! I've been doing ALL of that for years, that explains why I haven't gotten a boyfriend yet! I need to start letting myself go if I want to start dating again. :x



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09 Aug 2015, 8:11 am

I've seen plenty of attractive people with Aspergers, especially the girls because, girls make more effort to fit in



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09 Aug 2015, 8:23 am

darkphantomx1 wrote:
-WARNING-

-This thread will probably offend some of you guys. If you're the type of person who can't handle this, then stop reading and click back because I know some of you have poor emotional skills-




When someone is talking about a problem of theirs or something that keeps happening to them and you have a pretty good idea that it's because of something they did or didn't do or seemed to have caused, and you want to explain it to them to help them fix it and maybe get past it, or to help them figure out how to stop it from happening over and over again, and what you need to tell them for their own good is going to be unpleasant for them to hear, THEN you can post a warning like that and then go on and say what you feel you need to say. Because that is helpful even though it can hurt. It's a kind of tough love and being straight with people because they may not realize ithe truth any other way.

What do you think it is when you post that warning and then out of the blue just insult everybody and say bad things about them which you know damn good and well will start some of these people obsessing and getting depressed and all that, WHEN THERE IS NO NEED TO ASK THE DAMN THING TO BEGIN WITH?

Because honestly, what kind of a question is "Why are <whatever> people so ugly/fat/short/hairy/bucktoothed/etc?" What possible help could it be to you to point out to a forum of autistic people that you think most of us are ugly? I'm not just yelling at you for this ridiculous thread, I seriously wonder what kind of helpful answer you might have thought you would possibly get. Did you think that someone would have an actual scientific or logical answer to why you think these people are ugly?

I have seen you post some mean and dumbass things on here, but this one takes the cake honey. I'm not mad at you, I honestly right now, for your sake, really kind of hope I've just had a little stroke and thats why I see absolutely no reason, logic or purpose in this at all.

This may seem ridiculous coming from me of all people, cause God knows I piss off everybody and their brother on a regular basis and am abrasive as hell when I think the situation calls for it (now) but for the love of all that is unholy would you please stop and think about how something might come across to somebody else before you say or post anything that could possibly be construed as an insult please? People will like you better after you stop insulting everybody willy nilly.


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09 Aug 2015, 8:29 am

In case you haven't noticed already, society puts way too much pressure on people to look "beautiful", especially if you are female. And because of this many if not most people think they look hideous when they actually don't, and feel awful about themselves even when they look stunning to everyone else.

If I'm "ugly" because I don't spend every day smearing toxic chemicals on my face, or wear clothes that have my body parts hanging out, or get silicone injected into me until I'm more plastic and fake than a Barbie doll, then guilty as charged. :P

I better stop posting before I break my computer screen...



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09 Aug 2015, 8:40 am

darkphantomx1 wrote:
-WARNING-

-This thread will probably offend some of you guys. If you're the type of person who can't handle this, then stop reading and click back because I know some of you have poor emotional skills-


why are so many autistic people unattractive? According to "experts", autism doesn't affect appearance at all but if that were the case, woudn't there be more attractive people with autism? No offense, but the majority of aspies/autistics I know would be considered unattractive. And i'm pretty sure like 80% of the ones I know are overweight as well, and we're talking about aspie teens and young adults. When it comes to appearance, we're probably one of the most unattractive groups of people.


I have a couple of theories on why autistics are usually unattractive.

There probably are good looking autistic people but they're more likely to be undiagnosed and fly under the radar. The reason is because since they're good looking, they come off as normal and their aspie traits are more likely to go unnoticed. Uglier people are more likely to be diagnosed because they can't get away with it.

Another reason why there's so many unattractive autistics is because a lot of just don't give a s**t about appearance. We never exercise or work out, we don't comb our hair, we don't shower, don't shave, don't put on good clothes. I'm pretty sure 8 out of 10 are overweight in their early 20s so this is never good.

Combine all of this with the fact that many of us don't drive, unemployed and/or live off of SSI, and we may not appeal to the opposite sex. If you were to ask 100 autistics if they ever had a girlfriend at age 20, I bet you 10 bucks that around 85 would say no. The sad thing is that there's plenty of autistics who want a boyfriend/girlfriend or get laid but there's not enough support for us so we really have no idea how to get a relationship nor keep one. It's no wonder why we're much more likely to be virgins, never kissed, and never been in a relationship at older ages. Being ugly with sh***y social skills is a double whammy!


So yeah as a group of people, we're not particularly attractive. I'm not saying all of us are ugly. There's actually some good looking people I know who are diagnosed but theres many many more people who DON'T look like male models at all.


My final word advice to all hopefuls who want to be in a relationship, appearance matters whether you like it or not. If you're a guy looking to impress girls, fashion matters a lot. If you're a girl looking for a guy, appearance matters A LOT! there's absolutely nothing wrong with making yourself look good which I highly recommend you all do. If you start watching what you eat, do some aerobic exercise, and start lifting weight, it will improve your appeal to the opposite sex. Start combing your hair and putting on nice clothes as well. So start giving a s**t about how you look and you'd be surprised at how more attractive you can become.


Phantom out


You say that most of the ones you know would be considered unattractive, but just how many do you actually know? I personally have not found this to be the case.

And really, it IS very, very subjective. Me, I've been described as "pretty" more often than I could count. Even close friends of mine have said things like that, which is either funny, or rather alarming, I'm not sure just which. "Pretty" in a kinda feminine way, a bit on the androgynous side. And I'm male. To some, that might all be a good thing, but to many, ahhh.... it's not how it's supposed to be, yeah? Guys arent supposed to be "pretty" or look at all like a girl. They're supposed to be rugged and "handsome" in a masculine way, and be tough, and blah blah blah. You know what I mean. That, often, is seen as the ideal. So despite the way I get described, even alot of those that might say such things would not then be physically attracted to me at all. I dont fit the mold, and whatever.

But it's not just that. There's a hell of alot more to it than just physical appearance, if you're thinking of companionship and such. Even if I was the handsome masculine type, my personality would shove everyone away ANYWAY. I'm abrasive and negative, with a short fuse and no patience whatsoever. I dont talk much, and "go away" is pretty much my catchphrase. I'm well aware these arent very good qualities, but I.... really dont care. But it does mean that many people not only dont take an interest, but wont even tolerate me. It has MUCH more effect than physical appearance. It can completely override it. And there's plenty of other aspects to everyone like that as well, things that have nothing at all to do with mere appearance, and everything to do with, er, everything else. Everything that is taken into consideration when "attractiveness" is brought up. As I figure that by "attractive" you probably dont mean JUST physically, considering some of the things you've said in this topic here. Unless I'm reading this wrong.

And all of that stuff there? It can work the other way too. If you work at simply being a good person, and also just being yourself... maybe appearance just wont matter so much. And really, finding someone like that, to whom appearance really ISNT the main attraction, is what's going to lead to the best relationships anyway. Or at least, that's what I've always figured. But what do I know?



FireyInspiration
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09 Aug 2015, 9:29 am

Lack of confidence.



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09 Aug 2015, 10:10 am

I think this is a valid topic. Although I don't know the OP's intention, I think he seriously wants to discuss it or see other people's opinions, not for the sake of insulting people. I have a feeling that he does have a specific purpose, which I think is legitimate. I may be wrong.

Any way, although attractiveness is very subjective, you can still have a generally accepted idea of "attractive people". I cannot give that generally accepted definition myself but I'm sure many people can think of typical attractive people.

Very vaguely put, ideal physical appearance for whichever sex (which in itself is very subjective but can still be further defined), confident mannerism, kindness, being a good listener/conversationalist etc seem to be the attributes of attractive people in general.

Physical appearance doesn't seem to be as powerful as it initially seems in attracting people. There is a very good-looking autistic WP member (he himself mentioned that without bragging) (who hasn't posted recently) but he has very poor interpersonal skills. He was saying that people always got put off by his awkwardness/weirdness very quickly.

This guy that I met IRL (not autistic) initially didn't look that attractive to me, but when he started to talk to me, I suddenly became attracted to him. He is kind, confident in a pleasant way and is a good conversationalist.

I think 'confidence' and 'being a good conversationalist' are the major problems that autistic people have in relation to being attractive. In addition many of us probably don't have a good idea of how to dress well or don't even have the desire to create a physically attractive body. Some probably are not even interested in attracting people.