Does your partner know your PIN?

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Hi all, I was hoping to get a few opinions on what people consider to be 'normal' openness between partners after having a disagreement with my other half.

We were on holiday in France and talking about the practicality of paying by card at the peage when driving a right hand drive car. I just shrugged and said, well if you're driving and can't reach the buttons, I can do it from the passenger side. My other half reacted with total horror at the idea of letting me key his PIN number into the machine, but I wouldn't have thought anything of it at all if it had been the other way round.

So...what do you think?

Personally, I think it's fine. You're a married couple, which would assume you have a fairly high level of trust between each other. I'd say it's no trouble to share you PIN with a spouse- it's not like they'll do anything wrong with it, and even if they did, it's not hard to claim that it was an unauthorised payment.

I'd say most married couples have that level of trust with each other, but I also think it's understandable/reasonable if someone doesn't want his/her partner to know his/her PIN. I don't have a partner but if I did, I wouldn't give my PIN to him. Other people, including your partner, may have totally different ideas about security. Your partner might innocently do something very stupid with you PIN. So don't be too angry with your partner. His reaction doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't trust you.

I think it's entirely a matter for the couple. Some operate completely separate finances, some pool everything they have.

My last wife was pretty irresponsible with money. She failed to plan ahead and would spend on unnecessary things only to later find there was nothing left for the basics. She kept going into unplanned overdraft with her bank and getting loans from sharks without even asking me about it, and was forever begging me to bail her out, or tapping me for money for luxuries and "get-rich-quick" gambles that I'd never dream of indulging in myself. So I always kept my finances completely separate from hers, for fear of her bankrupting both of us.

Generally I think it's a good thing for a committed couple to pool resources, each providing according to their abilities and taking according to their needs. But it's foolish to do that unless you have "financial fidelity." Of course if you don't have that, it's probably not a good idea to get married, because the law tends to assume you've agreed to pool resources.

As for PIN numbers, I don't see why they shouldn't be shared, from the point of view of a couple who trust each other, though the terms and conditions of the account might well specify that you keep your PIN and other access codes to yourself, and if they find out what you've been doing, they might not reimburse you if you become the victim of fraud. To stay within the rules you might need to make it a joint account. If there's any doubt about your partner's fiscal responsibility, it might be worth considering a compromise, i.e. separate accounts plus one joint account containing whatever limited amount you're prepared to trust them with.

Personally I don't like knowing other people's PIN numbers, even partners', and I haven't given mine out.

I know people who don't like to give there's out - my dad won't even tell people his computer password.

But my and I know each others passwords and PINs and we both have been told the PINs of my mum and grandmother (though I don't remember either).