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Rodland
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16 Aug 2015, 11:22 am

I always get trapped when making decisions such as "should I bike or run today and which route to take" or "should I go to that event and not to follow my typical daily patterns or not". This kind of decisions are often so difficult that I eventually get very bad vibes and feel unhappy no matter which option I choose. I think that indecisiveness has also ruined my studies because I have not been able to choose my orientation despite of reflecting it for years and years.

So, is there any sort of cure for indecisiveness?



btbnnyr
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16 Aug 2015, 11:52 am

One method is to stop the habit of ruminating over the other choices once you have chosen.
If you take one bike route, try to enjoy that route instead of thinking about the other routes you could have taken.
The same with studies, once you choose a subject, try to throw yourself into that subject and see where it takes you.
If you get a bad feeling from something like you don't like your subject, you can change, but thinking too much about other subjects and whether you chose correctly may interfere with you getting into any subject in the beginning and slow your progress.


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Rodland
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16 Aug 2015, 4:11 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
One method is to stop the habit of ruminating over the other choices once you have chosen.


That's what I've been trying to do. But it seems I cannot stop. Considerations just do not stop arising in my mind.



BorgPrince
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16 Aug 2015, 5:18 pm

I used to carry a die cube with me. For simple Yes/No type decisions, I let odd numbers represent "No" and even ones to represent "Yes." If I found myself having to choose between a set of choices, I'd assign each option a particular number and roll the die. I'd go with whatever came up. I can't say it's 100% effective, but I did find it helpful to reduce my indecisiveness.



Norny
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16 Aug 2015, 8:10 pm

I believe Shia Labeouf made a video that would tell you exactly what you need to hear.


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ToughDiamond
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16 Aug 2015, 9:23 pm

It helps me to cultivate a habit of asking "how important is it to get this absolutely optimal?" If the answer is "not very," then it's easier to just pick one option and get on with it. But I've found that I can get stuck on getting the optimum answer to the question of how important it is.

I guess the whole problem is down to compulsive perfectionism.



jk1
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17 Aug 2015, 12:50 am

I have exactly the same problem. Pretty serious one. It's ruining my life. I get stressed and keep avoiding decision making. I get mentally paralysed and passively choose not to choose anything. I do that even with very important decisions. As a result I sometimes end up with very bad consequences.

I believe it's an OCD symptom, at least in my case. Perfectionism must also be involved.

As I'm as lost as you are, I can't offer any advice. I hope someone will come up with a good piece.



neilson_wheels
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17 Aug 2015, 5:48 am

I think there are elements of OCD/perfectionism involved but many people on the spectrum have issues with Executive Function. Unfortunately this still seems to be a grey area even for the professionals studying it.

The main problems for me seem to be planning, prioritising and time management. I also struggle with completing things on time due to attempting to reach a perfect state too.

If the problem is something relatively simple, for example the "Bike or run and which route to use" question, you can pre-plan. Simply alternate the activity, you may want to write out a timetable or schedule to train yourself. The main effort required is sticking to your plan and not deviating.

For more complex situations there are a few things that I try to use.
One is mental compartmentalisation. It's a visualisation technique where related subjects go into a specific area, room, box or pressure vessel in my case, and are sealed. You control access to this area and go there when you want to, rather than allowing these thoughts to interfere with what you need to do immediately. Again this, obviously, needs to be practiced and takes some effort but is much more efficient than a waterfall of thoughts passing through your brain.

You could try some basic meditation techniques to clear the thought processes when you are feeling overwhelmed, just focus on nothing for a while. It does not need to be for long 10 to 15 minutes. I find this works best with classical music, as in no lyrical content to focus on, and helps to reorganise the compartmentalisation technique.

If you find you are stuck on one mental thing, take a break and do something physical instead. As above just 10 to 15 minutes. Take a quick walk outside, yoga, martial art forms for example. I do core strength exercises as I suffer with back problems, but can recommend for anyone. This needs concentration and does not allow mental room for the issues that are bothering me.



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17 Aug 2015, 1:53 pm

Many of the other posters are right--executive function is linked to making decisions, and many aspies have difficulty with the types of choices you're describing. I struggle with the same thing, myself, and I often have to wait until I'm able to effectively visualize the impact each answer will have on me and the people around me. For split-second decisions, though, I'd go with an option like BorgPrince suggested, like a die or a coin. There are plenty of random number generator/coin flipping apps available for free.


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