The way people are

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Is it normal for someone to book their wedding on their nieces 7th birthday and, then when they were told that, not to actually acknowledge that? Apart from saying that she will be invited to the ceremony and reception? Wouldn't it be polite to say something like "Oh, sorry, we didn't realise when we booked it" or "oh sorry, it was the only date we could get at the venue we love" or anything? My Mum seems to have expected me to have a big problem with it judging by the lecture I got when I simply said "oh, that's her birthday, I hope my brother won't feel bad when I tell him" Then, telling him got no reaction from him at all so now I feel like they have already discussed how they think I will react and have gone with that rather than actually talking to me based on my actual reaction.

Why not make it a double celebration? Also, maybe you should say "I'm sorry, I didn't remember" to your brother. On the other hand, they should acknowledge that your niece will hopefully have many more birthdays, and hopefully this will be your only wedding.By the way, congratulations!

It would seem strangely insensitive or silly of them to have a wedding that clashed with somebody's birthday, yes.

Were they close to the niece?

If so, it could see insensitive. If not, it wouldn't be kind, but it wouldn't be rude, either.

She will be 7, I more don't understand why her birthday wasn't acknowledged. I was trying to figure out how I could gently let them know that that day is her birthday and, I have been told off like I have a huge problem with it when I didn't say that. I feel like my family has discussed what my reaction will be and are just running with that rather than listen to what I am saying. That made me angry and now I am utterly in the dog house.

I thought they must have booked the day not knowing and they would be upset when they found out... they weren't upset.. they didn't even say anything at all like they didn't care.