How do you deal with change?

Post Reply New Topic

I have a really hard time dealing with change. I haven't even had to deal with any very difficult changes (such as death, illness) but I still find it debilitating when something changes, even if it's something everybody else is happy about.

I'm 32 and I hate getting older. I hate the fact that many people I know of my age are having children (I try to be happy for them, but it's hard) I hate it when anything changes at work. My cat is old and the thought of him passing away scares me every day beacuse he's such an important part of my life.

I was wondering if anybody had any strategies they use when confronted with change in their lives?

I understand you completely. My life keeps changing and I keep trying to keep up. For someone who doesn't like change I can't understand why I keep getting so much. I just want to settle down and stay put but something happens and I have to move on.

Badly

I came here to say the same thing.

Even positive changes, that I want, don't go over very well with me. Last year I sobbed and pleaded to be allowed to keep my broken car, and I still haven't fully adjusted to having my new car a year later. As a young teenager I had been wanting to change my childish bedding out for a while, when I finally got new bedding (of my choosing, that I really liked), that first night with it I was completely distraught. It helped to keep the old bedding in the closet, but it was still a long adjustment process full of sleepless nights. And I've learned that haircuts ranging from moderately, to dramatically different, always lead to a meltdown eventually.

I too am still surprised by how much change I get subjected to. Seems to be something to do with people. FOr example, if I agree to meet with people, chances are they'll change the start time, the duration, the place, or the agenda.

It certainly can be disquieting to experience change.When I look and see family and friends move forward in life doing this and that and its tempting to look at myself and think"Why can't I just move forward and stop feeling so stuck!" and not to mention the sense of familiarity and sentimentality one inevitably aquires when you finally adapt to new things and then look out your forced to adapt to something new and unfamiliar,which often undermines a sense of stability and comfort.I find I want to confront the new and unfamiliar but it I can only do so much at a time and then there is the unexpected changes that come whether you like or not, I used to be mad with worry because I freted on the future, I found that I had think more present minded or else if I thought to much on the hypothetical things that could happen I would induce panic attacks.

I don't know if this is helpful to you as I have a black/white dichotomy when it comes to change. On the one hand I have eaten the same meal, at the same restaurant, with the same person, at least once a week for fifteen years, but on the other hand I have moved four times in one year, changed jobs twice, had two surgeries and two courses of study.
Suffice to say that if I don't change a lot and dramatically in some aspects I tend to panic, thinking I'm stagnating and I get sick of seeing and doing the same things, over and over, relentlessly and brainlessly and I need new things to think about.
Perhaps you could apply this to your situation? Say for the sake of example you have to change something at work. I'd jump all over it, learn everything I could about the change - who implemented it? Why? Was there input on the decision? What else does it alter in the workplace? Does it make things better/more efficient? How does it work? What changes do you have to make due to this change? Investigate so you are fully informed and if it improves our workplace, at least that's something positive about it.
But at the same time you may be keeping something else in life unchanging completely - eat the same thing on the same day at the same time watching the same movie if it helps, so not everything is out of control.
Just an idea.

I don't like change either, except in terms of philosophical/conceptual exploration...
Pretty normal for those of the spectrum not to like it, so I have read...

I suggest you get a young cat...
It will help you cope with the lost of your first one when it eventually happens...

^^^ +1

I used to deal with it pretty badly but I gradually got better throughout my life. Taking medication for my OCD & anxiety helps alot too & taking an antipsychotic also helps alittle.

^
I hope they invent a pill to give everybody else that stops them changing things.

I usually keep it in my pocket and use it as and when I need it.

I avoid it like the plague. If anybody changes things on me, like in a work environment, I get upset. Don't touch my stuff! This is another reason why I like to work by myself and keep to myself. No changes unless I make them.

As slowly as possible, I try to plan ahead, if possible, and change one thing at a time. When I can't I will focus on my special interests and current obsessions for comfort whilst I get used to the changes. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and wait for it to become the norm.

"True dat"...

I think preparing for change in advance can make it easier.

So, look ahead and think 'what will happen when (or if) X occurs?' Try to visualize exactly how it will be like, without getting too wrapped up in negative emotion about it. (If you find yourself getting too upset, take a break and focus on something else.)