My parents won't let me join a fraternity because of hazing

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WillTheSpartan1997
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21 Sep 2015, 5:05 pm

My name is Will I'm 17 years old and I have aspergers syndrome. I'm a little pissed off right now, heres the story I'm currently on my last year of high school or senior year and I want to join a fraternity in college but my parents won't let me (with terrible irony they both were in soroities and fraternities respectivly) but my dad said looking back he wouldn't do it and my mom says soroities are different and they would judge me for my apperence heres what I look like
https://instagram.com/p/76IwVqOZ0n/?tak ... ust_g0bl1n
plus she says people have died from hazing which is BS because if anyone died the fraternity/soroity would be shut down and besides I have a lot of anger I can't release and hazing other people will help me with my anger by hazing newbies but no my parents won't let me and what could I got out of it lifelong friends, a girlfriend, and good memories and besides I don't want an as*hole dormate which dormates are as*holes 95% of the time. So what should I do to help my anger of not getting to join a fraternity.



Aristophanes
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21 Sep 2015, 5:12 pm

Relax. It's just a club for obnoxious morons to act like debased animals-- you're really not missing anything.



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21 Sep 2015, 5:18 pm

Won't allow you? Once you're in college, you'll be 18 (a legal adult) and you'll be allowed to do whatever you want regardless of what your parents say. . .


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kraftiekortie
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21 Sep 2015, 5:22 pm

"Fraternity" and "Asperger's Syndrome" really don't mix......



neilson_wheels
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21 Sep 2015, 5:25 pm

Is this a joke?



lostonearth35
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21 Sep 2015, 5:27 pm

If you haze other people then you're no better than the ones who haze you. And I'm amazed whenever I hear someone else with Asperger's has even gone to college I never even finished high school and now I really feel like trash. :(



WillTheSpartan1997
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21 Sep 2015, 5:29 pm

alex wrote:
Won't allow you? Once you're in college, you'll be 18 (a legal adult) and you'll be allowed to do whatever you want regardless of what your parents say. . .

yeah but I can't afford it I'm stuck right now working as a kohl's cashier



WillTheSpartan1997
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21 Sep 2015, 5:31 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
If you haze other people then you're no better than the ones who haze you. And I'm amazed whenever I hear someone else with Asperger's has even gone to college I never even finished high school and now I really feel like trash. :(

I know but I just want to fit in and not have a as*hole dormmate kick me out for a night just so he can have sex



WillTheSpartan1997
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21 Sep 2015, 5:31 pm

alex wrote:
Won't allow you? Once you're in college, you'll be 18 (a legal adult) and you'll be allowed to do whatever you want regardless of what your parents say. . .

and when she told me people die of hazing that did put some fear into me



AnotherAlex
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21 Sep 2015, 5:35 pm

WillTheSpartan1997 wrote:
I have a lot of anger I can't release and hazing other people will help me with my anger by hazing newbies


You do realise that other people are not punching balls for you to use to release your anger, right?

Quote:
what could I got out of it lifelong friends, a girlfriend, and good memories


You can get all of that without getting into a fraternity.

Quote:
I don't want an as*hole dormate which dormates are as*holes 95% of the time.


You mean, like someone who thinks he can use other people as punching balls to release his own anger :x ?



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21 Sep 2015, 5:41 pm

No, actually she's completely right dude, hazing kills people every year. Just read my newspapers. Dorm roomies are as*holes!? Dude I live in a college town and the frat guys my age barely even know how to drive. They also can't communicate as well as most aspies, which leads to more fights than hazing. All but one guy I met in my friends' dorms were nice people. You're asking your parents to buy you friends. I'm forced to wonder if you're interested in learning anything.

You want to live with a bunch of roid raged know-nothings with chronic inferiority complexes? Drink PBR and Rolling Rock as if they could pass for beer anywhere else? You want your furniture thrown out your window on fire? Man I gotta say as far as naiveté goes on WP this takes the cake.


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21 Sep 2015, 5:42 pm

I don't think he's joking. I think he's in earnest.

He wants to "fit in," like basically the entire 17-year-old population.

You can be a person who makes friends without joining a fraternity. In truth, these frat boys will use you as a punching bag.

Truthfully, most people, NT and Aspie, don't join fraternities--and they do all right. The succeed. They don't get arrested for underage drinking. They don't act like as*holes and get expelled.

I'm not making a moral statement. I'm making a practical statement. Join a club, rather than a fraternity.



WillTheSpartan1997
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21 Sep 2015, 5:44 pm

cberg wrote:
No, actually she's completely right dude, hazing kills people every year. Just read my newspapers. Dorm roomies are as*holes!? Dude I live in a college town and the frat guys my age barely even know how to drive. They also can't communicate as well as most aspies, which leads to more fights than hazing. All but one guy I met in my friends' dorms were nice people. You're asking your parents to buy you friends. I'm forced to wonder if you're interested in learning anything.

You want to live with a bunch of roid raged know-nothings with chronic inferiority complexes? Drink PBR and Rolling Rock as if they could pass for beer anywhere else? You want your furniture thrown out your window on fire? Man I gotta say as far as naiveté goes on WP this takes the cake.

Listen looking back it wasn't a good idea but 90% of the time dormmates will kick you out so they can have sex my cousin had that happen to him 30 times if you want to do that get a hotelroom thats all I'm asking



Nicola2206
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21 Sep 2015, 5:46 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
"Fraternity" and "Asperger's Syndrome" really don't mix......


I agree. It's not a nice place for people like us. Unless you're a neurotypical party person, I wouldn't suggest this.
Really, it's not a good idea, think twice about it.

You can find friends without joining a dumb fraternity. Seriously, that stuff is bad especially for people on the spectrum.
Fraternities are bad, really, I've heard bad stories about them. Don't make this terrible mistake. If you want to meet people you can meet them without joining the morons club.

Just my opinion though.


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21 Sep 2015, 5:53 pm

WillTheSpartan1997 wrote:
alex wrote:
Won't allow you? Once you're in college, you'll be 18 (a legal adult) and you'll be allowed to do whatever you want regardless of what your parents say. . .

and when she told me people die of hazing that did put some fear into me


Well yeah, that's a stupid, pointless, awful way to go. You know what you should do instead of joining a frat? Learn to drive a proper car (if you have two legs, get three pedals), spend the money you'd otherwise waste on those numbskulls and their Escalade collection getting a proper car with enough power and deal with your anger on your commute like everybody else. If hazing doesn't kill frat guys, SUV rollovers, alcohol poisoning, STDs, cocaine/ecstasy/pills/et cetera, designer drugs and fights easily can. I'll give you a pointer - you REALLY don't want your drink spiked, and nobody here even knows the full list of drugs that end up in those solo cups.

Oh, you want friends for life. Yeah, last I checked, taking all your rage out on other people is not conducive to that. What do you want your degree in anyway?


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21 Sep 2015, 5:55 pm

Hmmm, something stood out for me. Isn't your assertion that "95% of (dorm mates/roommates) are as*holes" kind of cruel and quite prejudiced? Imagine if a potential roommate said that about you. "I don't want an autistic roommate because 95% of autistics are as*holes." And actually, sometimes, people do. :( Or, they don't use that language, they would just say "weird" or "loud" or "they scream and hit their heads all the time like Rain Man" or what-have-you. Just as it's hurtful and probably inaccurate for you to be pre-judged that way, it's hurtful and probably inaccurate for others to be pre-judged.

How do you know the dorm mate you wound up with would be a jerk? Further, what makes you think one single roommate just trying to get by, get educated and maybe have a friend and girlfriend or two along the way would be more of a jerk than a house full of guys that had to prove themselves, and continue to have to prove themselves, in order to be accepted by their fraternities and to stay there? Isn't the likelihood the other way around? (I'm not putting down fraternities, just saying, I mean, do the math...)

IMO (I could be wrong) your parents may be trying to spare you being "accepted" as the regular ongoing butt of a joke and potentially borderline abuse by your frat brothers rather than because they actually like you, autistic people being, overall, more likely to be bullied than the non-ASD population. They could be wrong about this, obviously. I'm not agreeing with this or saying it would definitely happen, just saying, they are probably coming from a place of trying to protect you. And by the same token, they may be trying to protect you from the consequences of hurting others, too, given the fact that you said you'd like to be in a fraternity so you can expel some rage on people, I'm guessing physically? That could get you into new worlds of trouble even if you think at the time that it must be okay because your frat brothers are egging you on.

These are just my thoughts. I could be entirely off base but these are the things that came to mind. I hope you make the decision that ends up making you the most happy, whatever that may be, but I have to say, intending to expel your rage on people in advance of even starting school can't possibly be the way to go. You really need (IMO) to find some other way to release your rage. This particular way will be an abuse against others, and could get you into trouble. Please don't forget that once you're 18, you beating someone else up won't necessarily just be your parents being called and you hanging your head while receiving a stern tongue-lashing and possibly being expelled. It could actually mean jail time...ASD DX or not. Just saying. Be safe...but other people have a right to be safe too.

Good luck and I hope you have an amazing college experience.