Parent needs HELP!!

Post Reply New Topic

Good evening all, my son Blake is 9yrs old. He has HFA and told me just now "if I don't get help controlling my anger, I will continue to hate my life!" Also tonight he was so upset because he walked outside and thought about running away!! That scares me to death!! So my question is, what is an effective skill for a 9yr old to maintain anger? I am contacting his school counselor tomorrow to see what she can do. ANY info you all might have will be greatly appreciated!! !

Yoga. Meditating. Count to 10 and take 3 deep breaths. Yes, sounds nutty. I taught my son when he was diagnosed at the age of 5. Back then I noticed that he would get very upset about things. He quickly learned to calm himself. He's now 14 and awesome. No issues with him going overboard when he is upset. PS I have yet to teach myself lol

He says it mostly stems from his 7 yr old sister. She can't sing, dance, talk, nothing with him losing it!! I still feel like my wife is in denial after 5 yrs still. She feels he will "catch up" and be like the other kids. So it upsets her when I say "he needs help!"

I think that he needs help finding and feeling supported. He may just be repeating words he's been told when he says he needs help with anger. I think what he may really need help with is the situations that cause him to feel angry.

Can he tell you, or do you know, why he is angry?

He says "I don't know why I'm angry" most the time. Or he is angry when he gets punished (taking games away for a day or two). But like today, he was mad at himself for forgetting to bring home his spelling words. Then my wife told him, "don't get upset when you have to do two spelling assignments tomorrow." He then walked outside and said he hates life.

Often, what is most frustrating is wanting to be successful and not knowing how. He will have a much easier time if he can gradually learn to handle things.

Can the school make sure he has his homework to bring home or give him a study hall to work on it? Or is emailing the teacher or another parent for the assignment possible? Problems with executive functioning are common in autism, forgetting homework may be part of that, and asking him regularly to do things he's unsuccessful at invited him to withdraw or be angry.

He sounds stressed.

In first and 2nd grade the teachers were AWESOME!! The would email daily if needed and help him remember things. Then last year, his 3rd grade teacher was not communicating at all. She would say he is doing great when we see her, the we get his report card and he is below standard as an example. Now this year, it seems like the teacher is going to be the same. I am going to request a meeting with teacher and staff to request help with these. Also request iep sooner than later. Usually it is down halfway through the year. But I think by then his ways are set.