Asperger's and depersonalization/loss of sense of self?

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Yes. People on the spectrum tend to see one of the most important purposes of conversation as an exchange of meaningful information, rather than primarily a socially bonding event conducted in the language of small talk.

Small talk is a bit like a foreign language to most people on the spectrum, one we are uninterested in even trying to learn, as many of us tend to see it as a fairly pointless waste of time. ASD people tend to form conversational bonds in other ways, such as sharing information and thoughts on shared special interests, or by the exchange of ideas, or discussions on the bigger issues which significantly affect people. Some people on the spectrum can do conversational trivia, though they seem to be a very small minority, and many people on the spectrum regard it as a waste of time and energy (including me). And there is nothing wrong with that, it's just a difference.

If I could remove the communication issues, even if it meant losing a part of my personality, I would do it. I see myself as a mostly likable and agreeable, though sometimes misunderstood person, so the social issues are most certainly not part of my personality anyway. I don't know if you have a similar outlook, but you seem to want mend communications, so it doesn't seem to be part of your personality, either.

That if is a very big word..if I could fly, I would give up walking; however flying is an impossibility, so I will value my capacity to keep walking, as an intrinsic part of my being human.

Perspective determines how we see things. If you see yourself from the perspective of what are typical characteristics for neurotypicals, then you may see only you are not; conversely, if you see yourself from the perspective of what are typical characteristics from as Aspergers perspective, then like any other human being, there are parts of you that you will like more than others. However if you hate that within yourself which you cannot change, that seems to me a very painful state to live in, because you are rejecting part of your self. To my mind, the number one need of people on the spectrum is first and foremost, some self-affirming self-acceptance, because without that, a viable sense of self-worth is almost impossible, and without self-worth, life is loaded with suffering.

Let me get this straight...is Asperger's really supposed to be considered a part of us as human beings, or is it a separate entity just like any other disability, illness, condition etc.? Because I'm extremely confused about that.

Well it's inexorably a part of us although unless you'd say it's governing all your decisions, I'm sure there's some margin for humanity, not-otherwise-specified...

I was diagnosed 2 years ago and have been thinking over it for more than 3, and I still don't have an easy answer.

Tony Attwood takes a practical view and says it's only a disability if it affects your life. For us, disability is really framed in terms of our difficulty functioning in a society that doesn't work for us. Again Tony Attwood also says, all the "impairments" disappear when the pressure to be social or confirm to social norms is taken away.

I think it makes more sense to say that disability is the anxiety or depression from being isolated, or some other result of being different and not understood.

The identity issue likely comes from having few reflections of yourself in the world. I struggle with it because I can't see what I am to other people, or because I have slightly different ways of behaving with different people, so am I several people or one with a different interface each time?

So feel free to be confused! I wonder whether anyone has an authentic self, and it's just that I've detected the truth that nobody analyses their self to find that it's a fairly shaky concept.

I have a shifting sense of self. At times, I don't really know who or what I am. At other times, I don't worry about it. I actually think it's possible to overthink these things. Some of our philosophically minded forum members probably disagree.

For me it is fundamental to the way I think. The way I think is fundamental to who I am and what I am. Even though I did encounter many problems in my life because of it and had terrible consequences that dragged on, I still prefer not being neurotypical, because I would miss out on a lot of the good things that come with the way I think, and there are plenty of neurotypicals running around. Why would I want to be one of them?

As for depersonalization, I only had it as a side-effect of meditation, and I was prepared to embrace it before, so I never had much problem with it (though others did, it does make one a bit of an a**).

One of mine:
“To be is to do”—Socrates.
“To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.
“Do be do be do”—Frank Sinatra.