Do you keep your story to yourself or do you share openly?

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I have been thinking about this quite a bit since my epiphany and I am curious as to how others on the spectrum deal with this.

This is my take:

I am 47 now and just recently discovered the reality of my life. I have had all of the classic symptoms since I can remember, but NOBODY in my ENTIRE life ever stopped to ask me, or themselves for that matter, is everything ok...........you seem to be struggling lately. Not once..........ever!! ! Now, I only say it this way to make a point and that is this: Had more people understood what apsie's look and act like, I might have had a fighting chance to enjoy my life more when I was younger.

Don't get me wrong, I had a decent career at something I very much enjoyed, but there were SOOOOOOOO many missed opportunities and even more VERY uncomfortable situations at work that could have been avoided, had someone that I worked with known about or understood things about ASD's. I do not blame anyone for my lot in life, it is what it is. I even forgive all of those people whom were ignorant in their reaction to me, they had no idea. And mom and dad did the best they could with the tools that life gave them. So it is no ones fault and I am sooooooo very good with that.

However, now that I know what it looks, feels, smells, tastes, and IS like to live on the spectrum, I want to educate EVERYONE that I interact with on more than a casual basis. I want everyone to see what we look like and know what we sound like and know what we feel like. I want the entire world to know.

I do not want this to gain benefits. As I told my Psychologist, I am not looking for a hand out or a DX. I simply need the tools to move forward and make things easier. Like knowing when someone is laughing at you and not with you. I feel like...................if more people would have understood me sooner, I would have been DX'd a long time ago and my life could have been very different in a good way. I personally believe that knowledge is power and nothing for me could have been more powerful than knowing 35 years ago, that I was different and this is why. I am different and this is what is so great about me. Yahda, yahda, yahda.

What is your take on spreading the news?

Cheers,

David

I'm careful about who I tell.

"Autism" tends to carry multiple stigmas--owing mostly to ignorance of the nature of autism, and of the nature of the autism of today. People tend to think of all autistic people as these dribbling, nonverbal folks who rock back and forth.

As per the news media, Asperger's is a disorder which could very well affect your moral values--to the point where you are so cold and calculating that you are able, without compunction, to conceive plans for mass murder.

In these paranoia-inducing times, people tend to become stupider than during other times. This includes being stupid on autism.

Maybe you have developed coping strategies and are quite stoical too? AS can be quite well hidden, although this does not reduce the stress on your part, quite possibly it actually increases.

As Kraftie said above, I would be a bit careful about who you tell.

Maybe the people you know are more considerate and understanding than those who I choose to tell.

An option is disclosing your traits instead of using the often misunderstood words autism or Aspergers. Smaller groups are better for me. I work better in a quiet environment. If you do this you will be interpreted as wanting to be more productive instead of seen as wanting a handout.

Even though the results may not be good I would disclose to spouse and immediate family and anybody where you have a relationship of strong trust.

All great points to consider. I have told only close family so far and I am considering telling a few of my close friends that we spend time with. In my mind, it would make things easier for them to understand. Maybe they would give me the benefit of the doubt when I do things that seem a little off to them.

Not sure.

d

I almost wish my Spectrum-ness came as some sort of Epiphany--but, alas, I've always known that I was "weird/different" in some way.

Until I was able to stop caring what people thought of me, I always felt sad and lonely.

This may not be exactly what you're asking, but I've often had a problem of disclosing too much about myself to, potentially, the wrong people.

Growing up I was always quite naive and gullible and would openly share things with complete strangers that they really didn't need to know. I attribute it mostly to not really understanding social boundaries.

I didn't really know who to trust and so I trusted most everyone blindly. My peers would use the things I told them to embarrass or bully me in some way. One time another student misinterpreted something I said and the guidance counselor of my school showed up on my parents doorstep with concerns I was going to bring a weapon to school! I guess I thought being honest and open with people was the way to make friends, but more often than not those 'friends' would just later stab me in the back.

Anyway, as to the original question, I'm much more cautious about who I disclose certain things to, but I still find myself making 'mistakes' now and then. It can be hard for me to judge how a person will use the information I tell them.

I haven't told many about how I'm a spectrumite, and it'll probably stay that way for quite a while. Like others have stated, it's too easy for it to be misunderstood in the minds of others.

I am very open about it and I end up telling lots of people. I don't actively go out and announce it but if it's appropriate in conversation, like if we are talking about something and I need to explain why I am struggling with something or why it's best for me not to do this or that, then I say it without hesitation. People tend to be very understanding and most of the people are encounter either understand completely or don't but are very willing to be educated and really appreciate me educating them. But I never push it on people and I don't initiate telling them. I just wait until I need to if the conversation or circumstances get to that. But I really don't hide it unless it can hurt me. And those circumstances are not as common in my life but you just have to judge what they are and be careful to avoid them.

I really want the stigma and misunderstandings to end, and to get the acceptance and accommodated inclusion I, and all aspies, deserve. Because of this, I make a habit of "advertising" my autism. I wear sweaters announcing my condition (and have had several people come up and tell me that they too are autistic, or have a family member who is), and I inform people if I think I'm going to be seeing them again, or if the conversation leaves a smooth opening for me to mention it. I know many don't like talking about it because NTs don't seem to understand, but the way I see it, the only way that's going to change is if we teach them the truth.

I´m actually thinking the same. Just have to get past my self-stigmatisation and old ideas of autism.
For a start, I´ll be wearing a bracelet. Found a nice one on Etsy.

Thank you all for responding. My thoughts are very inline with StarTrekker's. I feel that education is the ONLY way they will get it. For crying out loud, I have been living like this all my life and I did't even know for all these years. How are NT's to know any better unless we continue to educate rather than hiding behind the mask.

I am really very tired of trying to fit into their world and on one occasion, over 15 years ago, I wanted nothing more than to step out of it permanently, but thankfully there was someone there to talk to. I want to live in a world that is accepting, but that takes time and education. LOTSA, LOTSA time and education.

It is like...............I wanna stand on top of a very tall mountain and say to all of the ND's "Please stand up and be recognized. Gather here where it is safe. We are of like mind and soul. Come gather with me. You are valued here. You talents are of great value, please come help them see."