Do you function the best when people leave you alone?

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I find that the biggest hinderance to my ability to thrive as a person in life stems from other individuals who do not respect that I function differently than most people, and attempt to micro-manage my life or force me to function in a way that I cannot.

I didn't really begin to thrive until these individuals were free of their obligation to harass me and I was left at peace and allowed to function naturally.

No longer did I have to suffer the effects of sleep deprivation forced upon me by those who didn't understand my sleep cycle is very different from theirs and I couldn't just get up in the morning, because I was not groggy like them, I was utterly sleep deprived, having fallen asleep only three or so hours before.

No longer did I have to deal with people who expressed a profound lack of understanding what I really endure, with retorts such as "I don't like work but I have to go everyday," or "I don't like wearing a tie but I have to," when I would try to express why school was so stressful for me and I could not go, or why I tried to explain why I could not wear certain clothing.

It was never a matter of just being uncomfortable in the situation. It was absolute hell which was compounded by the realization that those who claimed to be there to "help" me were really just there because someone had paid them to try to force me to be a way I was not.

Much like a fish cannot breath out of water, I could not cope with the pressure they hoisted upon me or the chemicals they forced into my body and this ultimately only served to make my situation more difficult and counterproductive to that which these people claimed they were trying to achieve.

When I was finally free of these persecutors, when there was no one "on my back", when I was allowed to conform to my natural sleep schedule and do things the way which was most natural to me, that is when I began to thrive in life.

I have achieved things that many ordinary individuals could never fathom themselves achieving.

Yet I still run into resistance from those who do not understand. I occasionally still finding myself having a conversation with someone who absolutely refuses to accept that I can perform a particular task very well...if they would just go away, or respect that I function a little differently.


Most of these situations are very upsetting, however one of these situations I found quite humorous.

I had been working in a lab and my partner and I had been assembling something and we would normally work together. These things involved a high level of technical expertise and it would usually take us four hours to assemble. I had expressed to him I work best alone but being a fellow perfectionist in his work, he understandably wanted to be involved in the assembly process to ensure it was done properly.....until one day on a device we had previously assembled and had a problem with, he had to leave to use the restroom and was gone for a while. I re-assembled it and solved the problem within 30 minutes.

He was quite impressed and since that time it was understood that I alone would assemble and trouble shoot the devices. Our efficiency increased drastically.

It sounds like our pasts are quite different, but yes I can basically only work alone on things. I never went to classes at school or lectures at uni, but still got top grades. In fact lessons and teachers only held me back.

My mind goes blank when someone is pressuring me, especially with maths or something. With someone staring over my shoulder I can do even the simplest of mental calculations.

This also applies to longer time scales - I require that I am left to my own devices and resent any interference or even questioning, for example from my parents about what I am doing these days.

Makes sense to me. If you think about it, most of us don't deal well with change. Dealing with people that would prefer us to be different from the way we are would require changing OURSELVES. And I can't think of a more dramatic and unwanted change.

In general, I prefer to work alone. As an accountant, I spend a lot of time crunching through several reports in order to generate financial statements. I prefer to do this number crunching when no one is near me. It allows me to concentrate and go off in my own little world.

However, I frequently need to find out more information to make sense of the data. When I go to people asking for back-up information about their reports or activities I sometimes run into people becoming very defensive or telling me they aren't numbers people and can't understand my questions. This becomes frustrating because I often don't realise they are being defensive until I have pushed them to the point of meltdown. When they hit the point of meltdown I find it best to go back to my office and try to find some other way of getting what I need without having to deal with someone who is defensive and/or can't relate to numbers.

I function much better when just left to make my own way.

I find it very hard to work cooperatively, especially on physical things. The pressure of being watched is definitely part, it destroys what fine motor skill I have. Moreover though, the feeling of the assembly is so important to my understanding and trying to explain what I want to try or why is so difficult.

Oh how many times I have uttered: "here let met just try ... (end of interaction with person, start of interaction with object)". I know shouldn't, I know it's rude, I try to minimize it, but i know a way to solve the problem and i can't explain it

You are right though, in the end few people argue with success.

Yes yes yes yes yes.

yes

I'll let you know after they start leaving me alone.

I feel more relaxed and less pressured, when I'm left alone to breath and be free.

Yes, I definitely function better when people leave me alone. When I was doing my thesis I messed up an experiment, because I had to show someone else how to do it, but I couldn't concentrate with someone looking over my shoulder.

I can relate to the sleep pattern thing too. My natural sleep pattern is to go to sleep in the early hours of the morning and wake in the afternoon. I really struggle trying to sleep and wake during "normal" hours. I wonder how you resolved this? Do you just work in the afternoon?

I like to do projects and other work on my own. With other people I feel crowded and shut-out.

I think it is always an insult when people you know try to change you. Because what they are saying is they don't like us the way we are. I have had friends who have always tried to change me and I hated it.

I understand your comment about people being paid to help when really their agenda is just to get you to behave like everyone else. NT's who try to be do-gooders have no idea what it is like for us.

I used to have the absolute worst time doing stuff on my own, unless it was drawing. Everything else I needed my hand held every step of the way. I think I was just insecure and had a difficult time making sense of the world, so I retreated into my makebelieve world of drawing and story telling to compensate. Nowadays I am better at doing stuff on my own and seek those experiences of self reliance and independence out.

Yes I do.

I am more relaxed and likely to get to the heart of various problems sooner. In situations involving micromanagement I expend energy being annoyed with the micromanagement.

Meetings tend to be distracting. The tendency to open work space and cubicles with low walls has the same effect.

No. I have serious motivation, initiation, procrastination, distraction problems and being around people sort of brings me to life... Even if that life might lead to meltdown.
If I did not have the initiation of actions problem, I would probably prefer to work alone. Right now I prefer to simply not work because I also don't like or seek out being with people.

I understand you OP. I know what you mean. I think I do much better when left alone and when allowed to just be who I am. I totally agree with you there.

It kind of reminds me of a cute story. When I was at my psychologist the other day, I was playing with his brain puzzle. He has a little rubber brain that comes apart like a puzzle and it shows some of the different parts of the brain. I just picked it up off the shelf and took at apart. I was examining it and he pointed out some of the different parts. Then I tried to put it back together. It's actually a pretty tricky puzzle if you are not familiar with the brain. So I was just kind of fumbling about trying to figure out how to put it back together. He was watching me the whole time. He tried a couple of times to take it back from me and told me it was ok that he would put it back. But I refused to give it to him because I wanted to do it. So he turned around to look at something on his desk. The minute he turned around and left me alone I got it. He was really amazed and commented on how I had great visual spacial awareness and how most people would not have been able to figure it out. But I do a lot better when people just let me do things the way I need to do them.