Does it help to accept being a loser the rest of your life?

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Starfoxx
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03 Jan 2016, 1:20 pm

tetris wrote:
It's very unlikely you are actually a loser, so accepting that would not be a good idea.

Being autistic does not make you a loser, being a loser makes you a loser, it's not exclusive to being autistic.

Exactly



ScottyN
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03 Jan 2016, 1:58 pm

Not such a great attitude. You can do a lot with your life, I have found. Thinking less of yourself is self-defeating.



BeaArthur
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03 Jan 2016, 2:57 pm

It's pretty liberating to select your own yardstick of success. (Meter stick, outside the US)

We see so many celebrities and accomplished people on TV, from the arts to sports, that it can make us feel insufficient by comparison. Fight against this tendency. Pick your own goals that are achievable yet challenging and don't worry about anybody else's goals.

You can achieve a quiet dignity by knowing who you are, and if you manage to help other people in some way, then I don't think anyone can count you a loser.


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Veilmenacex
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03 Jan 2016, 7:45 pm

First of all people should gain a higher sense of self-esteem. Dwelling on weakness won't help. We know our limitations however we have our strengths too and we use them to our advantage.



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04 Jan 2016, 3:03 am

Veilmenacex wrote:
First of all people should gain a higher sense of self-esteem. Dwelling on weakness won't help. We know our limitations however we have our strengths too and we use them to our advantage.


That is very wrong. Many here do NOT know their limitations. Either they exaggerate with the rather negative parts like in the opening post, or they dont see their deficits, or at least are unable to draw the necessary conclusions out of their knowledge as soon as their special interest come in. There is also a considerable number of people who display downright a quite disgusting feeling of superiority to either lower functioning people on the spectrum or NTs. Many of those who are pretty extreme vacillate BTW between the two extremes.

Havent you recognized that yet?



Jacoby
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04 Jan 2016, 7:30 am

Positive self-talk seems like a form of accepting it... :roll:

Some people's lives just objectively suck, your lucky to even have fulfilling hobby



kraftiekortie
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04 Jan 2016, 7:43 am

People can always make it suck less.

I agree...it's sometimes difficult to do that. My mother fell, and fractured her shoulder. In that state, all one can do is let it heal. There's no treatment for it.

It's hard to stay positive--but staying positive just might accelerate her healing process. It's done that for me.



mr_bigmouth_502
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04 Jan 2016, 7:53 am

Ever since I've rediscovered my gift for writing whilst I've been off my medication, I've decided to rebrand myself as an unemployed writer. It's kind of a silly thing to describe myself as, but it's something, and it's better than just flat out saying that I'm an unemployed welfare bum.



kraftiekortie
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04 Jan 2016, 7:54 am

Yeah...it's better to call yourself a starving artist than a bum. No doubt about that!

(let me emphasize: I don't think you're a bum).



glider18
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04 Jan 2016, 7:05 pm

As has been said, having autism does not make one a loser. Autism can have gifts that makes one a winner. Many of us autistics have special intense interests that can make us good at those things we are interested in.


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minetruly
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04 Jan 2016, 11:37 pm

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
Ever since I've rediscovered my gift for writing whilst I've been off my medication, I've decided to rebrand myself as an unemployed writer. It's kind of a silly thing to describe myself as, but it's something, and it's better than just flat out saying that I'm an unemployed welfare bum.


All writers are unemployed. You are a WRITER. Be proud! :)



zkydz
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05 Jan 2016, 7:58 am

Here is the flipside of the 'loser' argument. Many great people have had what we are now terming 'Autism'. Those gifts can actually propel a career. My Father and Brother are both excellent engineers as a result of their particular traits. I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams because of it. Of course, the flipside of that is that I also lost everything because of it. But, Autism is not a 'loser' status definer.

Knowing the limitations would have been a big help to me nearly 25 years ago. Being promoted out of my comfort zone into a management type position was the worst thing for me to do.

So, all people have limitations. How you decide to face it is the defining moment, not the Autism itself.


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LaetiBlabla
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05 Jan 2016, 8:37 am

BrainPower101 wrote:
Let's face it, Autism isn't going anywhere anytime soon and the majority are still NT that hate us.


Very often, when we misunderstand the others, when we are different, we have different ideas,
then we tend to reject the other.
This is the case for NTs but for AS as well.

If we accept openly our differences, and focus on positive things in the others,
we feel better and it makes the others feel good. It is no use to pretend beeing the same to my opinion.

I say things like:
- "At this, i am not good", "This is my little default", so they do not judge me whole on one detail.
- If they make fun of me, i respond even exaggerating my default, kind of humour, and they laugh (laugh=friend).
- When I disagree in a debate, i say "Maybe i'm wrong" "Maybe You are right" (you can't believe how many change their mind and suddenly agree with you!).
I always demand RESPECT but allow different ideas, recognise my weaknesses.

I constantly try to recognise true qualities and special abilities in others (with all of them, especially if with someone rejecting me :wink: ).

Hope you try and this helps, because, unfortunately, there is only one planet.



LaetiBlabla
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05 Jan 2016, 8:52 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Yeah...it's better to call yourself a starving artist than a bum. No doubt about that!

(let me emphasize: I don't think you're a bum).


laughing a lot :lol: but so true! Some artists also eventually live from their art.



zkydz
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05 Jan 2016, 9:04 am

LaetiBlabla wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Yeah...it's better to call yourself a starving artist than a bum. No doubt about that!

(let me emphasize: I don't think you're a bum).


laughing a lot :lol: but so true! Some artists also eventually live from their art.
YES!! They do!! I am living proof that ANYBODY can do it. Knock 'em dead and don't worry about the labels unless you're using them to market yourself.


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