"Oh, but you don't seem like you have Asperger's..."

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probly.an.aspie
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06 Jan 2016, 3:35 pm

skibum wrote:
old_comedywriter wrote:
My mother: "You don't have any syndrome. You were just an average kid who liked to read newspapers at age 4."

Strangely enough, my mother likely was AS herself. Her younger brother definitely was AS, but never diagnosed due to overriding schizophrenia and PTSD.
That's hilarious. Yeah, average kid who likes reading the newspaper at age four. Like there are so many of those around. Good one mom. :lol:


Ha, ha, this made me laugh. I have a brother who used to keep a stack of encyclopedias in the bathroom for reading material. (Most people have magazines, we had encyclopedias thanks to him.) He also has a way of going on and on about a special interest, along with many social quirks. His opinion on my son's autism diagnosis is that it is all bogus and that we are all different--my son is "just different" rather than having any issues in need of diagnosis.


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06 Jan 2016, 3:52 pm

I don't think this response is necessarily that bad. The person is just still learning about Asperger's and how it presents in people. You could take the opportunity to explain to them about how Asperger's affects you, and how you have it even though you don't seem to have it.



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06 Jan 2016, 4:13 pm

Re: books, you might look at Dr Tony Attwood's 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome'. It covers this specific issue and pretty much everything else in detail, and is full of insights and examples. It also has an excellent bibliography of both specialist and non-specialist literature.



IAMSTEVO
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06 Jan 2016, 5:13 pm

skibum wrote:
Do you mean articles about your original question like people saying you don't have ASD?


Yes, sorry - should have elaborated and blogs would certainly be helpful. :)



LaetiBlabla
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06 Jan 2016, 5:43 pm

"Ah, but you look normal!"
"You are trying to make yourself interesting."
"Yes, i think i am also a bit autist sometimes."

You are looking for understanding, and this is what you get, a bigger problem.

I would just say, this or that is difficult for me, it's my little default. Everybody have weaknesses.

Unless you want to spend hours to explain a complicated syndrome which they actually don't want to understand (unless it is part of their personal interest or they are themselves Aspergers).

However, if they "saw a film...Asperger", maybe you can provide them with a some more realistic view of the autistic spectrum (without speaking of your condition).



Ajk
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06 Jan 2016, 6:21 pm

People have difficulty in accepting my daughters aspergers because at the expense of great effort she unctions as nnntnt unless you look very closely
The effort is draining I remember reading spmewhere that autistic children and adults work twice as hard because there are two curricula the academic and the social most ppeople have one
So yes if you are not obviously affected people don't see it they are waiting for a stereotype you are not suppling



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06 Jan 2016, 10:23 pm

I actually skied with a really nice lady today. Yeah, our ski area finally had its opening day today!! Anyway, we met on the chair and ended up skiing a few runs together and she invited us to ski with her and her husband on Friday. The subject came up because there was a local Special Olympics ski team practicing, my team practices tomorrow, but I was telling her that I knew some of the people on the team that was practicing today. She asked me if I helped out at Special Olympics and I told her no, I'm an athlete. She asked how I could be an athlete, she thought it was because of the physical condition I have with my leg, but I told her it's because of my Autism. She said she would never have expected it because I seem so social.

One of the problems is that many people, and I have heard this many times, think that all Asperger's/Autism is is obvious social deficiencies. When I told her that one of my main issues was sensory processing, she did not even know that that was part of Autism. After we talked for awhile, she said she thinks her husband might be also because of some of the things I told her about myself. So she was really glad to learn about it because it could mean a lot for them.

But I do notice that most people only think that Austism is only social inability and nothing more so if you are not obvious in your social inability, they can't imagine that you are Autistic. They have no idea that there are other traits and symptoms and that those other traits and symptoms actually are part of what make us socially different.

And Tony Attwood's book, The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, that someone mentioned above, is fantastic. It's very comprehensive.


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old_comedywriter
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06 Jan 2016, 11:35 pm

probly.an.aspie wrote:
skibum wrote:
old_comedywriter wrote:
My mother: "You don't have any syndrome. You were just an average kid who liked to read newspapers at age 4."

Strangely enough, my mother likely was AS herself. Her younger brother definitely was AS, but never diagnosed due to overriding schizophrenia and PTSD.
That's hilarious. Yeah, average kid who likes reading the newspaper at age four. Like there are so many of those around. Good one mom. :lol:


Ha, ha, this made me laugh. I have a brother who used to keep a stack of encyclopedias in the bathroom for reading material. (Most people have magazines, we had encyclopedias thanks to him.) He also has a way of going on and on about a special interest, along with many social quirks. His opinion on my son's autism diagnosis is that it is all bogus and that we are all different--my son is "just different" rather than having any issues in need of diagnosis.


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cacerge916
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06 Jan 2016, 11:51 pm

I have gotten this response several times. My first reaction is always to ask them what people with autism look like, but i refrain. Instead I will try to elaborate, but when that fails I just change the subject because I get frustrated. After being diagnosed I had one person say " Are you sure...Maybe you should get a second opinion!There is no way you have aspergers" In response to that I asked what symptoms of AS were and she had no idea. Unfortunatly people like to speak about things they dont know. I find that a lot of people say things just to have something to say...I have never understood that. Honestly I have found that my best bet is to just ignore those comments and continue on...Hope this helps :)